Where is the justice?

Jarod · New User Joined: 01 Nov 2009 Posts: 2

The last 48 hours have been a nightmare. My fiancee was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. She is seeing a specialist later today.

She is living in Japan and I'm flying there in a few weeks to help her. I lost my job after the economic crash and haven't been able to find steady work. She works nights to feed the kids, but soon she won't be able to work.

I can't control my emotions. I swing from anger to depression to numbness and I can't focus on what to do. Our lives have been a constant stream of bad fortune. We've lost everything we had long before the diagnosis. All we have right now is each other.

I don't know if we will survive until next year. I will not be able to cope with losing her. I know the ex-husband will get the kids if anything happens to her. I don't have my visa yet and I will not be able to work in Japan to support the family.

I came back to Canada 2 months ago to earn money to support them, but no one is hiring in my field. But now I have no choice. I need to find a way to earn money.

I don't even know what to expect. Whenever I ask her details about the diagnosis, she breaks down into tears and can't even talk straight. The only thing we can do is pretend that nothing is wrong and try to make each other laugh. But the moment I hang up the phone, all I want to do is cry.

She is scheduled to have her lung removed on December 9th. I gave a solemn pledge that I would be there with her. But after that, I don't know what I'm going to do. She will have to be confined for a month under observation.

What should a husband- and a father-to-be do? How can I look after the kids when I am unable to legally work? How can I be strong for them when I am helpless to do anything?

UneasyRider · Regular Joined: 21 Aug 2008 Posts: 40

Hang in there, Jarod. This time right after diagnosis is the most emotional, and with all the problems you already had, that's making it even tougher on you.

Surgery is only done when there is a chance for a cure, so the fact that your fiancee is scheduled for surgery says she has a fighting chance. So, keep as positive and optimistic as you can for her, and give her all the support you can.

I lost the upper lobe of my left lung to surgery almost two years ago, and have been cancer free since. Here's hoping your fiancee will be lucky, too.

Check back and let us know how things are going.
_________________
57 year old male in Texas diagnosed with Stage II NSCLC
Upper left lobectomy on December 20, 2007, then 3 rounds of adjuvant chemotherapy
July 2008 CT scan - NED
December 2008 CT scan - NED
June 2009 CT scan - NED
My story is in this thread: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=39609#39609

Jarod · New User Joined: 01 Nov 2009 Posts: 2

Thanks, it's very difficult to get information from her. She is getting all her advice in Japanese, so it's hard for her to explain everything that's going on.

They're talking about a lung TRANSPLANT now. What does that mean for her condition? Apparently they have a lung right now that is a match for her. The only problem now is the money. We have no medical insurance, and to get that done would be extremely costly. In fact, no normal human could ever pay for it. I told her I think the number was a joke, but she said that it would cost 1.3 billion yen. That can't be right, can it?

I am trying to ask her a lot of questions, but she is having difficulty explaining it since english is not her first language.

simplyklb · Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:50 am Post subject: Re: Where is the justice?

Hi Jarod,
Some people with stage III lung cancer can have surgery. It just depends on where the affected lymph nodes are. In my mom's case, she was not a candidate for surgery due to lymph node location and the surgery would have made her even more shot of breath without her upper left lobe.

Here in the US, lung transplants are not used as a treatment for lung cancer.. There is a high risk of recurrence and due to microscopic cells possibly being in the blood. Does Japanese researchers know something our American researchers don't know? Just curious

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 2403

Hi,

Experimental lung transplants are being tested in patients with BAC adenocarcinoma as far back as 2005. My husband's surgeon was one of the doctor's who had worked in this program at Loyola.

Otherwise, Kristi is correct. The rate of lung cancer recurrence for most of the types prohibits the use of lung transplants in the U.S.

Good luck with getting information. I'm so sorry that this part of it is such a struggle. The diagnosis is something that none of us expect and will take time to absorb.

My thoughts are with you.

God bless,
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

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