grateful for any advice ...

kellyj · New User Joined: 04 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

My alcoholic father and I are estranged however I have recently heard from my younger sister that my dad is very ill.
He has been to the doctors who has told him that if he does not drinking he is going to die, he had a lump protruding frm his abdomen which he was told was his liver, enlarged and surrounded by fluid.
He was given a scan appointment but has refused to go. Obviously his partner has encouraged him to go as have his 2 young daughters but he is refusing.
He stopped drinking for only a couple of days but could not sleep and experienced severe withdrawals .. hallucinations - he did not sleep dispite being given librium.
His symptoms are as follows :-
Very yellow skin and whites of eyes which has been getting progressively worse over the course of a year. Blood in hs stools and diorrhea daily, sickness daily with blood, easily bruised, bloated abdomen, weight loss over the rest of his body - apparently his legs are like matchsticks. He is constantly aggressive and being viscious to all of his close family. apparently still unable to sleep but doc said he cannot have any stronger sleeping tablets because it could further damage his liver. I do not know if he is in any pain.
I know he only has hiself to blame for the state that he is in, and he is on a downward slope because he is too ignorant or scared to stop drinking and to seek medical help. I am not posting this because i want advice fr him, i want advice for myself and my 2 sisters. They are going to have to watch his decline and i will be there to support him.
Because we are estranged I am not in the position to help him although i have tred many times over the years ... but i will help my sisters as much as i can, also because he will not go to bechecked out, i have no diagnosis.
He will not let me into his life to help him, nor will he let anyone else.
Can anyone here relate to these symptoms ?? i feel like i need to come to my own conclusions with this ... and come to some sort of diagnosis ... do these symptoms sound like cancer of the liver? if so how do i know how long he is to have left ? help ...

very confused and concerned for what my sisters are going to have to go through.

madair · New User Joined: 06 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

Hi Kelly,
Ten years ago, I watched my father experience the same symptoms you are describing with your father. As in your father's case, my dad also refused to go the doctor, a point which I found particularly frustrating. My father died from alcohol/acetaminophen induced liver failure approximately 2 months after the onset of jaundice and gastronintestinal bleeding. I am not a doctor, but it sounds like your father might also be experiencing alcohol-induced liver failure, which occurs when the majority of the cells of the liver become damaged beyond repair, leading to extended blood clotting times, a buildup of bilirubin in the body (leading to jaundice), gastrointestinal bleeding (upper or lower related to increased liver system blood pressures), an accumulation of fluid in the abdomen (ascites), and behavior changes with lethargy (likely due to increasing ammonia levels or possibly thiamine deficiency).
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this situation with your father. I wish that I had some words of wisdom to empart on you in this difficult time. All I can suggest is that you give your sisters lots of love and take good care of yourself. I was 16 when I lost my father and had much animosity toward him and his poor health practices. I don't know about your situation, but in mine, I held such a grudge toward my father that I didn't take the opportunity to make ammends with him before he died, something which I now regret. I'm not suggesting that you make ammends with your father, I'm just letting you know what I experienced, and I am wishing you peace of mind in all that you go through during this process.

sheila · Senior User Joined: 24 Jul 2008 Posts: 265

I think its wonderfull for you to be there for your sisters. and altho you have really bad feelings towards your father-remember if it wasnt for him you wouldnt be here.
But just by the willingness to do what you are doing for your family shows that you do care -everyones survival rate is soo different it is too unpredictable to say. If the doctors say he has no chance for recovery of any kind-Id let him do whatever he wishes.let your sisters know that forgiving one that goes agaist you makes you a better person-mind and soul. and when he is gone there will be no guilt on your part for you gave of yourself. And I hope there are some good times you can remember. take care to you and yours stregth and prayers.

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Liver Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others