HELP WITH Important Decisions

froggyjwf · New User Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

Hi! My precious 92 year old dad has been diagnosed with STAGE IV metastatic pancreatic cancer. He has no risk factors and has been in excellent health all of his life. He has lived on his own, driving and very active and involved in the community until 3 weeks ago. My mom passed away last year. Yesterday would have been their 70th wedding anniversary! Last week I flew my dad from Nebraska to my home in AZ. This was the plan all along so not anything different to him. He thinks he will be visiting during the winter months. He is very weak and has very little of his vim and vinegar. He needs help with most things now. He had fluid removed from his abdomen last week and it is already accumulating again. NOW I am trying to make the best most compassionate decisions about what road to take to help him deal with this. We can start GEMZAR next week to help alleviate some of the symptoms or we can go ahead and get started with a wonderful hospice program we have out here if we do not do the GEMZAR. The oncologist says there are very few and very mild side effects from the GEMZAR. Everything I have read says that may not be so. I DO not want to subject him to more to handle than he already has. We have a daughter who is going to have his greatgranddaughter due on Christmas day so he would love to be around and strong for that. Has anyone had experience on GEMZAR and how did it go? What are the suggestions for the best decisions in this case maybe from someone else who has been in my shoes. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for my dad. He is the kindest and most amazing man I know.

Adagio7780 · Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:09 pm Post subject: Re: HELP WITH Important Decisions

Always remember, as a caregiver, helping your loved one to the end of life is the last thing you will ever be able to to FOR him, not TO him.
_________________
Man tracht, Got lacht (Man plans, God laughs)

LittleMe · Regular Joined: 28 Sep 2009 Posts: 24

Hi so sorry to read of your dads diagnosis. I am in the UK but mum had 4 cycles of GEMCAP (Gemzar and Capecitabine) and she tolerated it really well. She had a little nausea but managed to take herself off the painkillers she had been on after just a few weeks on chemo..

Mum has found it hard to eat for months but she forces food down. I think that has helped her general wellbeing.

I hope your dad gets on well with GEMZAR.

wannaknow · Senior User Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 145

froggyjwf:

My Mom's (80 something) experience with Gemzar was mixed. She did not have any devastating side effects but it does zap your energy especially because hemoglobin levels will drop.......which required transfusions. It can be a tool but with a clear understanding of the tradeoffs and risks.

At the end, an infection that was "controlled" by the Chemo took off once she stopped it and her white count took off and her body was too weak to respond requiring a hospital stay (for that and other conditions that appeared) which led to Hospice.

My suggestion would be to contact your local Hospice. Explain your situation, your hopes & goals for your Dad and they should be able to help with guidance, resource and care if you choose to go that route.

You definitely want to get the most out of every moment and it sounds like you have already done a lot in that direction. The Hospice staff and/or Palliative Care staff have the most experience (vs Oncologists) in helping patients and care givers face and embrace end of life treatment. They have lots of skilled people, medications, care regimens and equipment to assist you at this time.

Wishing You and your Family all the best.

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