can anynoe answer my question... please

dawn39

feeling paranoid here not even 1 reply if any one feels that they can give me any ideas or advice re previous posts would be much appreciated.
went back to haemotologist yesterday who said that my blood tests inc esr levels were perfect and that he is sure that this is not nhl/hodgkins even though i do have a enlarged lymph node, he said he has asked the surgeon to remove lump basically to put my mind at rest and that he may even say he wont take it out when i see him in two weeks. what is worrying me is that i have read of peoples stories on this and other websites that their blood tests all came back clear, now when i get very hot my skin feels very sore and starts to itch when i am cooling down.

i guess what i really want to find out is if this was nhl would something in my blood have been abnormal? and is he right.
even 1 answer would be appreciated thanks dawn
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i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

teriba

I didn't know if I should post or not because I don't want to scare you. I was originally told I must not have Hodgkins either, because my blood tests were clean. Turns out I have Stage 4 Hodgkins (both sides of my lymph nodes + liver involvement) and begin chemo this afternoon! Just try to get a biopsy done so you can find out for sure one way or the other and get on with it. It's not a death sentence if it is Hodgkins. It's one of the best cancers you can get (not that any of them are good). Good luck!
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http://mikecousins.blogspot.com

dawn39 · Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:32 am Post subject: thanks for reply

i am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. been trying to keep away from reading any thing lymphoma related for a few days in the hop that symptoms would pass, but they havent still feel constantly hot face mostly, spots on neck and top of back and sore skin. seeing surgeon on monday they have certainly made me wait long enough. hope your first chemo wasnt too bad and you are still managing to stay positive, because i dont think i would be able to. what were your symptoms that led you to go to the doctors in the first place to get checked out? i think this long waiting when i am convinced that i have non hogkins is hellish perhaps i shouldnt have read up so much while i have been waiting because all i have done is frighten myself more and dont know whether anxiety is causing most of this now or what.
if you feel up to it please let me know how you are. lots of best wishes
dawn
_________________
i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

teriba

I had no symptoms whatsoever except for a lump above my left collarbone. I felt absolutely fine up until chemo, no symptoms at all. After my first chemo I was nauseous pretty bad for about 3-4 days, didn't throw up though which was good. I've had a headache since chemo. I'm having weird aches and pains all over my body now, but my stomach is more normal. It's not too bad I guess.

Good luck with your diagnosis. Smile

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http://mikecousins.blogspot.com

dawn39 · Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 1:03 pm Post subject: thanks for reply

thank you for replying, having trouble putting my thoughts into words at the moment, i just think you are so brave, and in fact anyone going through this is, because i dont think i could cope i am a very negative person and always think the worst. i cant understand how people like you can just carry on with life normally. i am glad you are not feeling too bad, hope it stays that way. i went to see the surgeon today (monday) and he felt the gland and got on the phone and has me booked in 7.30 am thursday for biopsy. wednesday have to go in for xrays ect. i am absolutely terrified i hate hospitals even had my two children at home because of this fear, i also have a severe phobia of vomitting so dont know how i would cope with the chemopherapy, i wouldnt have any pain relief through two long labours because of this fear (incase it made me vomit) family still totally will not accept that this may be cancer well hey, i cant imagine a lump and then get a surgeon to take out imaginary lump!
sorry, getting worked up again. i will sign off now please keep me updated on how you are doing, if you feel up to it.

take care dawn
_________________
i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

DougW16

Hello dawn39 and teriba, my name is doug and I am new at this as well. So far dawn39, the worst part of this ordeal was waiting for my results from PET, CT and biopsy. That was very scary! Not knowing what it is is the worst. I was told I have hodgkins NS type 2b. Have had 1 treatment and feel alot like you teriba. Let me know what you find out dawn39. I'm praying for you.

dawn39 · Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 2:43 pm Post subject: hello doug

hello doug my name is dawn , thanks for yor reply. you have probably read my previous posts so wont bore you with details. could you tell me, anything about the biopsy and what to expect in the way of discomfort after? and i have been told have to see consultant two weeks after for results, do you get a phone call sooner if anything found, what happened with you. i dont really understand what all the different types of hodgkins are and what is the prognosis from what i can gather non hodgkins (indolent) is very slow growing but incurable with variable remissions, i think this is the type i have as have the lump for at least a year. are you managing to carry on with your usual activities at the moment and how are you coping with this mentally. im an absolute wreck and cant even hold an intelligant conversation at the moment, the brain doesnt seem to be functioning properly! i will be thinking of you , please keep me posted on how you are doing. best wishes dawn
_________________
i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

DougW16

Hi Dawn, I will tell you my story so far so try to stay awake, ha. I am a Firefighter for a busy area in town and have spent the last 16 yrs. helping others. This usually means not getting much sleep and being tired on my day off. This spring I noticed a visible lump on my neck and thought it was due to a cold. Then I noticed my shoulders swelling up at the base of my neck. I figured it was a pulled muscle. When it woke me up one night with pain I figured then something was up. I went to the doctor thinking they would tell me it was time to remove my tonsils or something like that. he asked me some silly questions like, are you tired (ha,ha), poked around on me(I'm ticklish), and then turned around and told me he wanted a biopsy ASAP. SHOCKER!!!! He took a lymph node from my r sholder that was easy to get to. I had to take it easy for about 3 weeks for the insision to heal. It was sore for a few days and it would itch once in a while but it wasnt to bad.
Waiting for the results was hell!!
You think of things that people just don't talk about. I was so scared and i'm not afraid of much. It was, however, a blessing that I talked about it with my family and friends because when someone says they are praying for you, It means alot, especially if you can feel their prayers.
I tried to get the doctors office to talk to me on the phone and they said I had to wait till my appointment. When I went to my appointment and he told me what I have I was releived because he told me my odds were favorable.
My oncologist has pretty much changed my life at this point. I went from working 3 jobs, spending time with my 3 children and partying with my firemen buddies to..............................................................................................................................Sitting at home and being a good boy.
The tough part mentally for me is being the helpee and not the helper. So many of my friends have come forward to help me ..........Its just overwelming. I am dealing with it and i'll be ok.
My side effects is a different story.
I type about 3 words per hour so i'm going to take a break. Its nice to be able to talk to you.

teriba

Sounds like you've had quite a ride as well Doug. Good luck with your treatment!
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http://mikecousins.blogspot.com

DougW16

Thanks teriba, the same to you. It sounds like we are at about the same place in our journey's. My next treatment is next monday, how about you?

teriba

Mine is next Wednesday. Good luck!
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http://mikecousins.blogspot.com

dawn39

hello doug and teriba. just a quick msg to say that i hope that you are both doing ok and to thank you both for your replies. ive had my biopsy, couple of day ago feeling very tired and sore and stil got to wait 2/3 weeks for diagnosis. dont think the doctors realise how hard it is some of them dont seem to be human! feeling very frightened at the moment and have no energy or incentive to do anything. my thought are with you both dawn
_________________
i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

teriba

My only advice to you Dawn is to try to stop worrying about it so much. If you are not able to do anything now, you aren't doing much living! Even if you have cancer the only thing you should be worried about is living your life as fully as you can. Time spent worrying and being inactive is time wasted! Get out there and get better!
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http://mikecousins.blogspot.com

dawn39

hello teriba. you have my total respect for the way you are coping and dealing with your problem, as i have said it just isnt the way i am made im afraid. i suffer and have for years with severe anxiety and have nenver just been able to "live for the moment" always worying about what is round the corner. i am on two chatrooms at the moment this one and one on anxiety which is helping. i just feel so horrible, and totally washed out , if this turn out the worst i will just have to deal with it, but not as bravely as you im afraid.

take care daawn
_________________
i have been ill for two years now and am awaiting a biopsy on an enlarged node. i have been told by many doctors that there is nothing wrong and it is all in my head, so now even my family believe this i feel hopeless and very scared/

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