How will I know when the end is near?

twandswr1

My mother has stage 4 non small cell lung cancer that spread to her brain, and back. She has had 55 radiation treatements to the brain, a regiment of chemo, laser surgery on the brain tumors, and know the fluid in the lungs (full of cancer). She was diagnosed October 2004 and recently has started going down hill very quickly. She is ready to stop all treatments because the cancer is growing to fast for the chemo to fight the cancer. The doctors have run out of options because she has depleted the chemo regiments. It is so hard to believe that a woman who never smoked now has lung cancer and there were no signs until it was to late and had already spread throughout her body. I am a teacher and therefore have some sick leave but not enough to take off months at a time to go be with her. I am also concerned that my dad and mom will need more near the end of her life. I want to take time to spend with her before that-that is quality time. I am worried that she could die at anytime or will I know when she is close to passing away? She has no energy, just taking a bath wears her out, it seems like for her to talk and breath is just a struggle. she eats but it is very little, etc. If any of you could share your experiences with me it would help alot. I just want to be there with her but I am not sure I will know when is the time to go. In his love,
_________________
Tammy West

brainman

Dear Tammy, it is hard to express how sad I feel for you, your mother, and the rest of your family!

Is your mother under the care of a hospice yet? If not, ask her oncologist to make a referral. She can stay at home and the hospice people will come to her and to you. They will be better able to answer your specific questions, to know what to expect, and to get prepared.

Please, keep us informed. My thought and prayer are with you.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

lc715 · New User Joined: 19 Feb 2006 Posts: 1

I am so sorry Tammy. I agree, hospice is Wonderful. My husband just passed away Wednesday and we did not notify hospice until that Monday. They were at our house within hours. They will make sure your mother is helped in a dignified manner. I was still home alone with my husband by choice when he died, but hospice will come to your house any time day or night. My husband was 39 and had mouth cancer. I do know if they start to lose their appetite completely, this could be a sign-just from experience.
Take care of yourself too.

MarkS

Tammy,

I don't know if this will help or not. It's a thread from a few months ago when I walked with a lady through the death of her mother. I explained what happened with my mother and she describes what is happening to her's.

http://www.cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=2379&start=0

I hope it helps and I pray, more than anything, that you will get to spend some quality time with your mother. This is just my uninformed, personal opinion, but I think you better do it quick.

Take care and God bless,
Mark
_________________
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

MomG · Regular Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 35 Location: Va

Tammy, My mother died in 1998 with lung cancer & had never smoked either. By the time they found it, it was already in her liver & throat also..she lived one month & five days after they told her. My husband had just had open heart surgery & I didn't get to go spend quality time with her & I have regrets now. I got there about 10 hours before my mom passed away & she didn't even know me. Hospice was there & was a great support. If it was me, I would take a sick leave or something, to just be with my mom while she still knows you & have some time to just talk. I would give anything to go back but that is over now & I agree with Mark, & it doesn't sound like you have much time left to do what ever you want to do. I pray for the best for all of you & your family.
God Bless
_________________
MomG DX 11-23-05 @ 65 yrs. old. Simple mastectomy RB 0.7 cm 1-6-06ER- 3+PR- 3+HER2/nev (herceptest) Negitive, 0+Main Sentinel Node - NegetiveArimidex 1mg. for next 5 years. Onc. Stopped the Arimidex, too much pain & side effects. Evista 60mg. a day. No osteoporosis.
Mother, lung, liver cancer, Aunt, BC

anne · New User Joined: 23 Feb 2006 Posts: 5

My sister had lung cancer which spread as a secondary to her lung and liver.
She died on 7 March (diagnosed on 11 October 2005).
When she had too much pain etc. she went to Pallative Care in Tasmania.
As her pain got more, the more morphine she was given
This had the effect of making her sleep more and longer.
Later she went into a coma and passed away. It was painless for her.
It wasn't for us. but it was good to know that she was pain free, and that is how we wanted her to be

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others