Just got some bad news...

KC10Chief · Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:29 pm Post subject: Just got some bad news...

Yesterday, I got a call from my stepmom and she was very upset. She told me that my dad has prostate cancer and that he has known for about a week, but didn't know how to break it to my brother and I. No big deal, I can understand that. He's cool now that everything is out in the open and we have a solid relationship. I'm 30 years old, and he is 61. He doesn't know a whole lot yet. The doctor said that on the Gleason scale, he's an 8. The doctor said it is an aggressive cancer. The doctor discovered it during an annual physical. Kudos to the doc for pressing the issue with my dad about getting the test done. Hopefully, it's still localized. My grandpa, my dad's dad, died of prostate cancer about 20 years ago. My dad's sister, is battling stage 4 breast cancer right now. My dad lives in Oklahoma City. I'm in the Air Force. I was stationed in Oklahoma City since 2001, but just moved to Alaska last month. That's kind of hard to swallow for me, but I'll deal with that.

One thing that has me concerned, is the length of time it takes to get some treatment going! It's like, two weeks in between appointments. Is this typical? I told him to start pressuring the docs to move his appointments up. At the rate they're going, it will be well over a month before he gets any treatment. Am I missing something here? I mean, it could be localized right now, but in a couple of weeks, it could start spitting out cells into his bloodstream. What do you guys think? Also, my dad has been complaining that his armpits are super itchy. Says it's been going on for about 8 months. Anybody ever heard of this being a symptom?

My dad is a tough guy. He's always taken good care of himself. Never smoked, never drinks, and is in good physical shape. He says that he feels 100% healthy right now. He's a Vietnam vet and retired from GM a few years back. You won't meet many people that love life and love America more than my dad. Matter of fact, back in the spring of 2007, he rode his bicycle across the United States. He started on the Oregon coast and finished up in Virginia. He did it by himself, towing a trailer on his bicycle. Check out his website at www.grandpalosthismind.com or www.sfulks.com. Both links will lead you to the same site. It's pretty inspirational. It's a great read with good pictures too.

Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for some advice on what I can do to help, or things that I could tell him about. I figured that one of the best places to get advice, is from other people dealing with the same thing. Thanks!

Matt
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Matt

Replicant · Moderator Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 742

Hi Matt,

First of all, there's no rush. In fact, a few weeks to let the fear and anxiety settle down will help everyone think more clearly. This has been growing for years--decades, probably, so a few weeks shouldn't make any difference.

Rushing into treatment without researching all the options would be a mistake. He should familiarize himself with the various forms of surgery and radiation (including seed implants and protons), plus HIFU, and make a decision based on side effects and his own personal values. He wouldn't want to find out after treatment that he would have preferred something else.

Itchy armpits are not a symptom of prostate cancer, as far as I know.

Prostate cancer doesn't spread by spitting out cells into the bloodstream. In cases where it spreads, it usually goes to nearby tissues and then metastasizes to bone. It takes a long time for prostate cancer to learn how to live outside the prostate--escaping cells don't survive outside until the cancer is systemic.

Gleason 8 does indeed indicate aggressive cancer. Do you know his PSA history? Do you know if the doctor felt the tumor upon exam (the digital rectal exam, or DRE)?

Hey, that's quite a bike ride. I love the Don Quixote quote, too. He sounds like a guy who can rise to a challenge.
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Replicant

Dx Feb 2006, PSA 9 @age 43
RRP Apr 2006 - Gleason 3+4, T2c, NXMX, pos margins
PSA 5/06 <0.1, 8/06 0.2, 12/06 0.6, 1/07 0.7.
Salvage radiation (IMRT) total dose 70.2 Gy, Jan-Mar 2007@ age 44
PSA 6/07 0.1, 9/07 (and thereafter) <0.1
http://pcabefore50.blogspot.com

Jean222 · Senior User Joined: 14 Dec 2008 Posts: 249

Hi Matt,

When my Hubbys' Gleason score came back as a 9, we were all very anxious and concerned. We also wanted him treated asap but his surgeon stated that once they've done the biopsy, they like the area to 'calm down a bit' before they do any kind of intervention.

My Hubby was diagnosed in November, got his biopsy results in December and then, they closed for two weeks over Christmas!

It does, however, as Replicant has stated, give your Dad time to research all of the alternative treatments and decide which one may be right for himself. There are drawbacks to all of the treatments, some worse than others and your Mom and Dad need to decide what they can tolerate before having any surgery/treatment. Having said that, my Hubby just wanted 'it out' asap. He opted for the Radical Prostatectomy, it was a rough recovery but he's doing well now.

Your Dad could also join a support group such as Man To Man, where others can assure him that he has time to research/decided what to do. He'll also meet many survivors, which will make him feel better about this nightmare-ish experience.

The folks on this forum are just wonderful and full of correct information.
I hope you find them as helpful as we did, very supportive when all seems pretty bleak. They were right on, even with an aggressive form of PCa, a person can go back to almost normal in a few months.

Best of luck to your Dad with all the decision-making he'll face in the coming days.

The best you can do, is just be there in a supportive role, it's a real emotional and psychological hit.....maybe as much as the physical assault.

May we all find good health, just around the next corner.

Jean

KC10Chief · Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:55 pm Post subject: Re: Just got some bad news...

Thanks for the replies! I forwarded this site to my dad. The responses have put us at ease a little bit! I told him that he should join up and ask any questions he might have. Also, I mentioned this already, but my grandpa on my dads side, died of prostate cancer. Now, my dad has it. It's my understanding that this puts me at an increased risk for the same thing. I'm 30 years old right now. I'd imagine that it's never too early to get checked out. My wife is pressuring me to go get tested myself. What do you guys think? Again, thanks for the replies!
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Matt

Otago · Experienced user Joined: 20 Jan 2008 Posts: 64

[quote="KC10Chief"] my grandpa on my dads side, died of prostate cancer. Now, my dad has it. It's my understanding that this puts me at an increased risk for the same thing. I'm 30 years old right now. I'd imagine that it's never too early to get checked out. My wife is pressuring me to go get tested myself. What do you guys think? Again, thanks for the replies![/quote]

30 is a bit young for even someone with that family history.

I'll tell you what, if I was your age with that family history, I'd start right now altering your diet. Most folks only do that AFTER they get a diagnosis, but the reality is that AFTER diagnosis is too late.
Ideally you'd eat a different diet from age 5, but age 30 is miles ahead of when most men even think about it.
Now, you do run the risk that they'll come up with a cure in the next 20 years, but short of that happening, I'd be changing my dietary habits right now if I was you. I've personally done so and I've not been diagnosed, but even with the years I've been doing so I won't ever have the lead time you could have at age 30.

I imagine you are unaware of this aspect of prevention, but at your age I'd think it more important than getting a PSA test right now.
Men who grow up in other parts of the world have a much lower frequency of prostate cancer, but if they move to the USA at your age or earlier, they assume the rate of the new country. To many this indicates that dietary influence is a significant factor.

Otago

johnw100 · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:52 pm Post subject: Re: Just got some bad news...

Previous suggestions are worthwhile, including the comments in relation to diet and lifestyle.

With agressive PC, hormone therapy often becomes a consideration, which is why I always suggest reading the book by Dr Charles Myers, "Beating Prostate Cancer: Hormonal Therapy & Diet" &/or the publication by Lee Nelson MD, "Prostate Cancer Prevention and Cure" which is a more general but comprehensive book.

Dr Myers included hormone therapy for treatment of his own high risk PC some years ago and has since used it for many of his patients.

Lee Nelson MD is also a PC survivor who was diagnosed with agressive PC about 10 years ago, which led him to do extensive research and publish his book which covers diagnosis, various treatment options, diet, lifestyle etc etc.

There are many grey areas and often a variety of opinions on many aspects of PC including the influence of diet, supplements etc, however logic dictates that better diet can only assist.

Improved lifestyle also helps overall health, including poor liver function which is often associated with itchy skin that you mentioned.

KC10Chief · Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:14 pm Post subject: Re: Just got some bad news...

What's a good link or site that has a diet plan on it? I don't suppose that this diet consists of steak and beer does it? Very Happy

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Matt

dsmc · Regular Joined: 27 Mar 2008 Posts: 26 Location: N.W. Ga

Hi Matt,

The guys are correct about the 2 weeks not going to make a difference as this is slow stuff. I had my surgery 4 yrs. ago @ 50. I have a 27 yr old son and a 12 yr old son and my surgeon said for the boys to start psa's @ 30 yrs. My oldest is in the medical field and he already has his started so he will have a baseline. Try not to get excited just yet and ya'll will get a plan of attack and go from there. I know it's hard to be that far from him now. I wish you and your father the best.

By the way, take advantage of the Kenia about May or June and enjoy some salmon and very good rainbow fishing also.....If I could find good air fairs I mignt even come up and help....LOL.

Good luck and God Bless,
David
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Age 54
Pre-op PSA 4.3
Surgery Feb. 17 2005
Post-op Path : GS 3+3=6
Right nodes: neg.
Left nodes: neg.
extent: right lobe 40% left lobe 10%
capsular penetration: Absent
SV and vasa : Uninvolved
Prostate: 26 grams
Post-op PSA's <0.04 for 3 years
02/08: 0.07, 03/ 08: 0.08, 06/08: 0.09 and 09/ 08: 0.1
IGRT scheduled.....11/17
FINISHED...1/14/09
05/14/09....PSA <0.04

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