Nearing the end

artnut · Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 9:54 pm Post subject: Nearing the end

It's so hard to believe my husband was healthy, laughing and active
and now, just 3 months later, he's lying in a bed, unable to respond
more than just a stray word here and there. His fight against cancer
is coming to an end and unfortunately, the enemy is winning. Crying or Very sad

I guess
it's just not in God's plan for us to keep him any longer and he
needs him more. The hospice nurses are saying a week or two, but with
his rate of decline, I believe it'll be much sooner. His condition
has deteriorated by the day and there's not much further he can go.
It's tearing the heart right out of me to have to say goodbye to him
and I just keep praying they'll find a cure for GBM before it claims
any more lives. He's suppose to be on a 4 week break from radiation
and Temodar, and then have an MRI run soon, but he's too weak to even
get into a wheel chair. They were hoping for a big turn around, but
it's not happening and I know it's nearing the end stages for him.
Anyone who's dealing with this with your loved ones, please, make
sure you cherish every moment you have with them. Every second
whether good or bad is very precious to me and I'm sure it will be
for you too.
Ann

Fred, 51, dx with GBM IV 7/05/05
went through 6 wks radiation and Temodar
now on hospice awaiting God to call him home

debr88 · Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 11:31 pm Post subject: Re: Nearing the end

Ann,

My thoughts are with you.I hope the end is peaceful and painless for your husband.My fiancee is also under hospice care.His doctor decided to stop chemo treatments because his cancer is progressing.He said he has two weeks to two months left.I am devastated....I can't stand the thought of life without him.We have an 8 month old daughter...it's killing me to know that she will never know her father and he won't get to see her grow up.I hate cancer...it destroys so many lives....causes so much pain and heartache.I hope someone finds a cure for this killer disease soon.

Deb

Steve DX with GBM 4/25/05 6 weeks of radiation and Temodar.one week 370 mg of Temodar...two treatments of CPT-11.

shell · New User Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 6

Deb and Ann,
My heart goes out to you both. I lost my father to this terrible disease 2 mos ago...only 1 month of after his diagnosis of GBM. It is heartbreaking to see your loved one decline soooooo rapidly and the helplessness you feel is unbearable...as you know. I don't know if your husbands are experiencing seizures, my dad had a few and was on oral medications to "control" them. My dad became unconcious about 2 days before he died and could no longer take his antiseizure medication. My greatest fear was my mom having to watch my father seize. Our hospice nurse (who was wonderful) was unaware of any antiseizure medications in a suppository form but upon my request(I'm a nurse) she called the pharmacist and found that there was one. If this is a concern of yours, please talk to your hospice nurse about the availability of phenobarbitol in suppository form. My dad was spared not having a grand mal seizure, he died painfree and very peacefully.
Only those of us who have been through this experience firsthand truly understand the emotion and pain that goes along with it. I feel as if I've been through Hell, everyday I get a little bit closer to finding my way back...as will you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Michele

artnut · Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 5:22 am Post subject: Thank you both

Thanks Deb and Shell. My husband's taking anti seizure medicine but could not take it last night due to his non response. I'll be sure to let my hospice nurse know about the anti seizure suppository. Deb, I've been married for 28 years and I can't imagine what my life will be like without him. We have a 1 year old grandson who will never know what a wonderful grandpa he has. We started taking lots of pictures and videos to help him remember the times he had with him, and if you can, that would help you with your precious daughter too. That way, she'll know about her daddy and what a special man he was. It'll also help you too. Thanks Michelle for the heads up about the suppository meds for seizures! I know it sounds morbid, but with being a nurse, could you please help with something? Could you please post as to what we should look for during the last day or two so we'll know what to look for? It'll help me prepare for what's iminent.
Artnut

shell · New User Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 6

Dear Ann,
I'm happy to explain things to you. I wouldn't post this if you hadn't asked. I think it is important to be prepared. Everyone is different, but I'll outline some things I've seen in my career and specifically what I saw with my dad. Periods of unresponsiveness increase, usually to the point where a coma state is reached. At this time your loved one will no longer be taking in any fluids or solid foods. Urinary output will decrease, eventually stopping. There may be incontinence of stool. Your loved ones hands and feet may feel cool and clammy, appear pale. Breathing becomes irregular, there can be long pauses between breaths(up to 30 seconds sometimes!) and it may sound "gurgly". For my dad, all of these stages were very brief. Tuesday night he was requesting "happy hour" at his bedside and joking with everyone. Wednesday: he slept most of the time, awakened to urinate and take sips of water with medication, brief conversations. Thursday: unable to verbally respond, or squeeze our hands. Would open eyes and look at us, some moaning, no urinary output. Friday: same as Thursday, opened eyes less. Breathing became irregular and gurgly around 2am Saturday morning, was cool and VERY clammy throughout early Saturday morning. His breathing became more regular but shallow (gurgling stopped)as Saturday went on. At 8am Sat the hospice nurse said my dad had less than 24hrs. My dad died at 5pm Saturday evening. We had all been with him, rolling him onto his other side. There seemed to be no change in my dad...my mom and sister left the room to do something and I decided to stay and "talk" to him. They were gone less than 2 minutes and my dad's breathing changed, became very shallow and he opened his eyes one last time and looked at me. I called for my mom and sister and before they could get down the hall he was gone. It was soooo fast. This can't be easy for you to read. I hope it can be of help to you in some way though.
Stay strong and take care of yourself along the journey.
Michele

mhopusa · New User Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 3

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my mother to this terrible disease 9 months ago so I know what you are going through. My mother's decline was extremely rapid -- she died only 3 weeks after diagnosis and she was perfectly healthy before that.....there is not much someone can say at a time like this....I know that nothing will make you feel better, but it helped me to talk to people who could really empathize. There is no way anyone can relate to this situation unless they have been through it. So, I am writing to tell you that I feel your pain and tell you that it will not always feel so bad. I miss my mother everyday and will never forget what she went through, but in hindsight, I am glad that she is no longer suffering. He last 10 days at home under hospice care were the most difficult I have ever lived through and I thought I would never survive. But I did survive and although I did not want my mother to die, I am now thankful that her suffering and final days did not drag out for an unbearable time.

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