the worst year of my life. mum and dad have cancer.

weanor

hi i am new here and just need someone to talk too.
Where do i start?? well 8 years ago my mother (49) was diagnosed with cervical cancer and has checkups every month or so. i have learnt to deal with this but last month my father(70) was diagnosed with primary bowel cancer and secondary cancer in his liver and his bones. ( i think that is right?) he was in hospital for 3 weeks to have an operation on his bowl because he couldn't go to the toilet, they put a ''stent'' in to help him which has worked but this has caused him more pain with the tumor .he is on liquid and tablet form morphine and steroids. but still in alot of pain.

At this time we were told he had ,at best, and this is being optomistic, 2 years max, but today we have been told that he only has a couple of months. We are all totally devastated. What makes it all the more heartbreaking for us all is i am 5 1/2 months pregnant with my second child, a little girl, who sadly has been diagnosed with ''duplex kidney'' i know this condition is not life threatening but at the moment i am petrified, i have called her ''grace'' because in all this devastation she will be my saving grace.
i am just devestated at the thought that my father will not be here to see his first granddaughter, my heart is breaking every second.

thankyou for reading this and i'm sorry if it doesn't make alot of sense.

laura

rmaureen · Experienced user Joined: 06 Oct 2005 Posts: 99

Hi Laura,

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Yes, your posting makes a lot of sense; this must be extremely difficult for you and I am sure for your mother as well. I would also imagine this is making a physical demand on you, and being pregnant--- you have to take care of yourself. From my experience, cancer can be just as devestating to the person's loved ones, if not more so. You need to get help with this-- maybe through church, support groups, or counseling. This is too much to go through without some outside assistance. My prayers are with you and your family. Keep us posted on how you are doing and take care of yourself.

Rhonda

DJW

Laura,
God bless you, you are dealing with more right now that 10 people should ever have to.

I am a father too Laura, a father with a daughter. I am telling you this as I would say to my own daugher: please put the baby first.

I know you want to be there for you father, and I know you will do your best to do so, but I have no doubt (NONE!) that the most important thing to him right now is that you concentrate on your daughter.

If God allows it, your father will have a chance to see your daughter, if not, then she will see him in your eyes.

Please remember how blessed you are to have had him in your life...when ever you kiss your daughter, remember that he kissed you first.
_________________
As Mother Angelica said when asked why God allows bad things to happen: "If it weren't for life's tragedies most of us would never even take one second to pray." It is only in suffering that we acknowlege our own mortality.

weanor · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject: thanks

thank you so much, both of you, i am so grateful to you both for taking the time to reply.
i will take care of myself, don't worry, i've had too much crap to deal with recently so i'm not willing to put my baby at risk, thank you both so much for your concern, it's very much appriciated.
at this moment in time we are all just getting on with things, i don't want to show my grief to either one of my parents right know, i don't want them to worry about me any more than they are allready.
To be honest, i don't think all this will really hit me until the inevetable (sp?) happens.

thanks again.

laura

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