Dad Just diagnosed with stage 3a Lung cancer (T3 N1 M0)

DeeVQ · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 18

Hi All,

Im sorry if this email is a bit all over the place but my Dad was only diagnosed with lung cancer on 13th July and things have been moving very fast. Everything is very raw at the moment. Basically 6wks ago my dad began coughing up blood. He is only 55 yrs old. He had a CT scan at the end of June and on July 13th was diagnosed with non small cell Lung cancer at stage 3a. No offence to the doctors and nurses but the majority of info I have gathered has been from searching the net. Basically Dads doctor gave us a letter stating that it was T3(tumor is at stage 3), N1(it has spread to one lymph node i think?) and M0(its has not spread to distant organs)....My main worry is that the Doctor said that the reason Dad has been classed as M0 is because his tummy and Brain have not been xrayed yet but if the cancer has spread then Dad would be stage 4. I have an awful feeling it may have spread to Dads brain as his memory has gone so awful the last 6 months, it would explain a lot. All I know at present is that they said chemo is not an option as he is too weak, and it is inoperable because it has spread outside his right lung and is surrounding the ribcage. They are giving him 12 days radiotherapy to try reduce his chest pain so they can reduce the amount of morphine he is on. My heart is broken. I am so devastated I am finding it so hard to come to terms with. I went over to stay with Dad from July 17th til July 26th as he is over in England(I live in Ireland). It is so hard being so far away from him. The doctor said that he cannot give an exact life expectancy as it depends on how dad reacts to the radiotherapy, but all he could say was that he had a patient before that lived 10 months after diagnosis. Like is this supposed to be a good thing? Ten months isnt enough! I thought I would at least have 2/3 years but the way dad deteriated even in the 9 days I was with him I have a gut feeling it will be a lot sooner. He has been complaining of his hands and feet feeling numb and his appetite is really bad. I barely saw him eat when I was over. All I know is that I dont want my Dad to suffer. He keeps crying and saying he is so sorry and that he will fight this til the end but I told him that when he knows it is time then I want him to be at peace and dont fight it. Is this a bad thing? I just would hate for him to put his body through more pain just for me. Has anybody else out there got a family member with similar lung cancer? I just want to kno how much time we have left and what to expect.
PS; My Dad had a lung xray 10 months ago and it was totally clear, but now 10 months down the line half of his right lung is covered and it has spread outside the ribcage. To me this sounds like it is spreading awfully fast or is this how quickly lung cancer normally progresses?
I would really appreciate your advise, as Ireland doesnt have any Cancer forums of its own.

Thanks for Listening,
Dawn(Ireland)

Michelle5835 · Regular Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Maryland

Hello Dawn-

First, I just want to say how sorry I am to hear about your father. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this time.

My dad was also diagnosed with lung cancer on July 13th. He is only 50 years old. His is in stage 3b/4 the doctors can't tell for sure. It hasn't spread to any other organs though so I am going to assume for now that it is in stage 3b.

My dad's cancer has also spread rather quickly. He had a biopsy of a lymphnode on his neck last September and that came back benign. Now here we are.... I am constantly wondering if he would have had a chest xray done then would things be different. I guess now isn't the time to dwell on what ifs...

Most of the information I have found has also been from searching the internet and forums such as this. Another good site I found is...
www.lchelp.org

Take care,
Michelle
_________________
7/13/07 Dad diagnosed with stage 3b/4 nsclc.
7/23/07 started chemo/radiation.

DeeVQ · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 18

Hi Michelle,
Thanks for your reply. I'm really sorry to hear about your father. I have been lighting a little candle every night for my Dad, so tonight I will light an extra one for your father.
Dad had a biopsy of his right lung a few days after his CT scan results. This is what confirmed the worst. I totally understand how you feel about wondering 'would things have been different?'. I too cant get my head around the fact that my father has been getting regular blood tests and urine samples the last year and a half due to a bad kidney that he has, yet they only discover this now? Like he even had a chext xray about ten months ago and said there was nothing except 2 shadows where he had an ulcer on that lung in the 70's. I keep saying to myself 'what if this was the cancer forming, they could have cured it if they had found it sooner!'....But Dads GP said to me that unfortunately, by the time lung cancer is visible on an xray it has already reached 1cm squared, and the cancerous cell has already doubled 36 times. So it seems to me that even though we want to find someone to place the blame with at this difficult time, because lets face it...it has to be someones fault right? At the end of the day it's the lack of equipment to discover this disease sooner that is the main issue. If lung cancer was detected sooner, then people like you and I could have a few more years with our fathers.
I am trying to keep all my blessings close to my heart, and thanking God that even though my Dad is going to leave this world so much sooner than I thought, at least I have this time to say everything I want to say, ask him everything I want to kno, dig out old photos and laugh and joke about his funny dress sense and hairstyles etc.
Im not sure if this will help you but it has helped me the last few wks. I have bought a Journal and each night before I go to sleep I write in it about my Dad. How he's coping, how Im feeling, his symptoms etc. Every day I speak to him I ask him something like 'Hey Dad, whats your favourite smell? Who's your Idol? Favourite book you've ever read? Favourite restaurant? your dream holiday? your most magical memory about christmas? your most embarrassing moment'.......
I am keeping a record of every little detail so that I can read over it for comfort when my Dad is gone. Like I know my memories will always be with me but its the little things that we forget, and its the little things that make us smile. Also, it breaks my heart that my Dad wont meet my children, so I want to be able to tell them every little detail about there granddad. I have to say it has given me great comfort already. I am gathering every little bit of information I can. at this moment in time, a conversation with my Dad feels priceless. I am gripping onto every last word he says. Have you got plenty of support around you Michelle? Its so nice to talk to somebody who is detached from my situation, yet knows exactly how I feel.
Sorry for waffling(I get the gift of the gab from my Dad)
Dawn x

cdflisa · Regular Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 21

Dawn,

I am so sorry to hear about what your dad is going through. I will pray for you and your family to get through this.

I've read your posts, and I feel the same way you do!! My mom (who was only 56, I'm only 27) died July 12th from lung cancer that had spread to her brain and eventually (5 months after diagnosis) spread to her liver and back bones.

She was a fighter. She was a very strong person to begin with. She had brain radiation that worked really well. I could still tell at times her thinking was off or she would skip words, but she was my mom again!

We had ups and downs, the last down was in May when she was really foggy and couldn't barely speak. She went into the Dr's and had an IV drip of steroids, that brought her brain working again.

My mom lived 6 months from the time of diagnosis. She had already had several brain tumors when she was diagnosed.

I live in Colorado and my mom lived in California. I went back to see her every month for a week and I am so glad that I did. I spent time with her, laughed a lot and consoled eachother a lot. I miss her!

I am so glad to know that Hospice was with my mom for her last two weeks. She was not in any pain at all. They took really good care of her.

The biggest thing I am struggling with right now is... my future kids.. will not physically know (first hand) their grandma and that hurts me to the very core.

Regards,

Lisa

DeeVQ · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 18

Lisa,
Thank you so much for replying to my email. I only realised I never replied to your email this morning. Im so sorry, my head is all over the place at the moment so I cant imagine how you feel. I am glad your mother was comfortable at the time of her passing and that they took good care of her. I am sure your mum is watching down on you and is so proud that you are offering kind words to other people who are going through the same thing that you've been through, especially when you are going through such a hard time yourself. Its nice to talk to people who understand what Im feeling. If you ever need to talk, drop me a line. In the meantime, take care and give yourself time to come to terms with this.
I am sure even though your mother wont be there in person for your children, she will always be there as there very own fairy godmother, keeping them from harms way.
God Bless you,
Dawn x

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Lung Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others