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newie
New User
Joined: 25 May 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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 Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: Advise on the final stages... please help!! |
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Hi, My Uncle, who's been more a father to me than my biological dad, was diagnosed with PC in November and given 3 to 12 months. According to a family friend, who's also a professional nurse, it's now come to the time where he's got 3 weeks if he's lucky.
He's in so much pain and is getting 800mg morphine a day. I've been told the final stages are going to be: he'll go on a drip, then slip into a coma and basically just fall asleep and not wake up.
I'd just like to hear from other people who have been through the same thing. I'd really like to know the final stages that you experienced and how long ie, your family member or friend was on a drip before slipping into a coma and before the passing.
Please help!! |
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Queensland Girl
Experienced user
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 71
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: Advise on the final stages... please help!! |
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Hello,
What I am writing was unpleasant to witness, so please only read this if you think you will be okay. I don't want to stress you further, but my Dad's passing was hard and it was not like on TV where somebody just falls asleep and goes quietly. Everyone is different, and the only gaurantee is, that when it is over, they are no longer in pain and at peace.
My Dad died in January 2008 and basically at about 3 weeks out he started to compain of leg pain, he was on oxycontin slow release, a patch and more oxycontin immediate release for break through pain. By the end of that week he started to find it really difficult to move and was put onto a higher dose of oxycontin and the patch removed. On Dec 31, he was unable to swallow and I had to get him admitted to hospital (Prince Charles - Brisbane).
He was put into a high dependency ward as he started to get confused and started wandering around. By Jan 4, he was very confused and pretty much bed ridden. This is when they put a fluid drip in. Once the drip was in, Dad was also put on a syringe driver with morphine. He was still restless with pain, so the morphine was increased to give him ease. If you spoke loudly into his ear and called his name, Dad would open his eyes, otherwise there was not much recognition of us being there. Basically he slept most of the time and we kept a vigil.
On Monday Jan 7, Dad was quiet then at about 4pm he suddenly developed the "death rattle" - I remember this from my Mum. It is a horrible rattlely weezy breath. Every breath in was an effort and the skin was sucked in around his adams apple as he was breathing so hard. Dad was so loud that we had to keep the door to his room shut. The nurse put him on an oxygen monitor and we could see his stats dropping. Around 6pm the nurses had to clean Dad up, so we left his room. Within 5 minutes the nurse got us all back in. Dad's breathing had changed and he was quiet, it was now shallow gasps. Gradually the time between breaths got longer and longer, then they stopped. We felt for his pulse and it fluttered out only a minute or so after that. It was all over at 6.45pm. Only us, his daughters were present, we didn't have our husbands or children present as it was so traumatic.
This is hard to read, and very hard to write. I'm writing this with tears running down my face.
My advice to you is to cherish the time you have with your uncle.
My thoughts are with you.
Queensland Girl |
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newie
New User
Joined: 25 May 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:19 am Post subject: Re: Advise on the final stages... please help!! |
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thank you so much for posting your story. it brought tears to my eyes both times i read it. i can't even imagine how hard that would have been for you girls. again, thank you so much, it's really put things into perspective about how fast the decline really happens. my aunt is in major denial and talks as if he still has months to go. it makes things difficult as we all understand that it's only weeks.
i have one question: was your dad conscious during the "death rattle" episode?
thank you for your advise and again for your post. it makes a huge difference. my thoughts are with you also as i know the pain does not stop.
newie. |
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Queensland Girl
Experienced user
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 71
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:15 am Post subject: Re: Advise on the final stages... please help!! |
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For the Monday, Dad wasn't conscious any more. The last time we were certain he was still with us was on Sunday night. That is when our husbands and children arrived. As Dad had deteriorated so fast, we flew to Brisbane, whilst the rest of the families had to drive. It ended up being a mini-convoy of husbands and kids driving down the Queensland coast.
Dad still reacted to the grandchildren on Sunday night, but by Monday there was nothing and it just became a time to wait.
I honestly hope your uncle doesn't go the way of my Dad.
My thoughts are with you at this time.
Qld Girl |
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In
Moderator
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: AUSTRALIA
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: Re: Advise on the final stages... please help!! |
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I feel for you Both so much.
Like Queensland girl said-, just be there, say what you need, even if he's not "there" he'll hear. Make every second count.
Thinking of you both.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
 9 Lives and still kicking |
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