lymph nodes without infection lymphoma i will kill myself
i think i have lymphoma and i am infertile also.i dont have anything to live for why i will fight for, i am loosing my faith over here. i have this groin lymph nodes over 5 month. i dont have insurance at this moment.i dont know what to do.i dont have anyting to live for anyway.i cant even bear kids
i have swollen lymph nodes over 5 month. i am really scared. i think i may have lymphoma
Life is not about having children, or being able to have children. There are lots of other options open for having children that you may not even know of, so this is not the problem right now.
You are going to have to jump from one stone to another to be able to cross the lake. If you think about how many stones there are to get to the other side, your jumps will seem harder and you will fall. Take one stone at a time.
Now. The problem of your lymph nodes is obviously bothering you to the point where it is getting too much to handle. I am also guessing that you have many other problems that have been building up for a long time now, and you probably also have some sort of relation problems (either with your relatives or with a partner). This is making things seem 10 times as bad, because when you feel you have no support, everything seems like it is 10 times as bad.
Calm down. There are a lot of people here who have probably thought the same thing as you are thinking now. You have to take the step of dealing with your lymph nodes, and this may seem extra scary if you feel alone.
My first piece of advice is to get someone you can really trust. Take them with you and go for a walk. Anywhere.
Tell them how it is making you feel, and then this will feel easier to deal with. The next step is to stop worrying about health insurance. I am sure that there's a way to fix this problem of not having insurance, and I am not in the US so I don't know about the system (maybe someone else can help me here?????) but your problem will soon be sorted, don't worry.
First step is to calm down. 5 months of thinking about this, is making you feel frustrated and that is understandable. Don't worry. We will work a way around this. Just check this post and we will find a solution soon for your insurance problem.
Give me one day and I will find out what you can do ok?
Please give me a little bit of time, but you have to keep your side of the bargain and keep calm. Is that a deal?
I am very sorry that you feel so bad about things that your mind is so dark. Why would you want to kill yourself? Only 1 % of enlarged lymph nodes are caused by cancer so it is unlikely you have lymphoma. Even if you do have it, this forum has lots of people who lived or are living through it, and are fighting the fight. You do know that lymphoma is curable?
As far as money and insurance is concerned you can find help here: http://cancerforums.net/viewforum.php?f=17
post in that forum and someone can point you in the right direction. I know only about the health system in Australia so I can't help you there, but I do know there are ways around this.
I too have been in that dark place, more times that I would care to admit. I stayed alive by keeping one rule which was don't do anything about this until you have slept on it. After a good sleep i always awoke in a better mood than I went to sleep in and felt more positive about the world I live in and my place in it.
Dont worry about not having kids. You have time on your hands that others with children don't have. use this time to seek some help with getting you out of this dark place and once you feel positive do something to help others. There are plenty of organisations around who work with children who are suffering that can use a helping hand. In fact there is so much work to do to alleviate human suffering that any help you can give would be most welcome. But you have to get out of this mood you are in first. Seek some help because it may be to difficult to do this on your own.
I hope you are feeling better soon. Get some sleep and don't do anything drastic. Get well and brighten up, someone out there could use your help. Nothing like getting help from someone who has been through a very tough test themselves. It gives you a lot of cred and insight.
Good luck and I hope you have many more trips around the Sun
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
NED on the 2/01/2013
No more scheduled visits to the Prof http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... NEVER GIVE UP
RULE NUMBER 3..... Don't forget the first 2 rules
Great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Even in America there are many options for getting health care, but you won't be able to pursue any of them until you take a deep breath and calm down.
Like ChemoMan and I have said, statistically, your chances of having cancer are very small. In all likelihood, you would be killing yourself for no reason at all. I can't speak to the other problems in your life, but if you are thinking about them in the same way you are thinking about this, then they are probably not as bad as you are worrying about either.
The important thing to do before deciding on anything important is to get a good night's sleep so your thinking becomes clearer. You have to get past the irrational worry to see that things are not nearly as bad as you believe them to be now.
My Story: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=11396
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 1AE (localized in colon)
Began six cycles of R chop 21 3rd Dec 2008
Finished R chop 21 Apr 2009
Complete remission as of May 2009
Confirmed April 2010