Mom just got cancer diagnosed as stage 1v lung cancer

[kearin]

We all just found out yeasterday that my mom has stage 4 lung cancer that met to her bones. They said there is no treatments or cures and they can only try to control the symptoms. They gave her 3mo -3yr but told my dad outside that even with chemo is 6mo max......How long is it more realistic from people who have been through this and what are the survial rates at this stage.

[onecoyote]

Kearin,
That is the magic question that everyone asks when confronted with cancer. Unfortunately there is no definitive answer. Everyone and I mean everyone regardless of cancer similarities goes through the journey differently.
There are a few things that doctors use to determine a prognosis; sub type of cancer, grade (aggressiveness), location of tumors, overall body condition (whether there are other diseases present), frailty (weight loss cachexia), age and whether the patient wants treatment or decides against it.
A stage iv diagnosis does not have to be an immediate death sentence, many people have lived quality lives for a few years and others have succumbed almost overnight.
The issue for your mom is whether she is in good overall health and wants to fight. Some people opt for no treatment like my husband. He had lost so much weight that weakness made chemotherapy impossible to tolerate. Right now he is in the end stages of his journey and he was diagnosed with advanced metastatic lung cancer in May 2009. So that make it approximately 5 months untreated.
Treatment I am sure will give your mom more time than that if she tolerates it well and if the tumors respond to the treatment.
Best wishes to your mom for a good result,
Charlene

[Curiousaboutthis]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My dad was given a similar prognosis less than a week ago.

It is so hard to have to hear this kind of news. I am having tears come to my eyes knowing what you are going through.

You will find so much support in this forum. Ask all the questions you can. People are more than willing to share their insights.

My prayers are with you and your mom and family.

What I have found is that my dad will begin talking about how he feels (and that's not his style at all) and that's when I zip my mouth and just listen.

So many people have said how important it is to just say, I love you.

I am working on a business project and the three main drivers of the project have all been impacted. One woman lost her dad 3 weeks ago, my dad has his situation, and the other partner's mother in law is with Stage IV lung cancer.

Prayers be with you.

[JaLee]

I too am sorry to hear about your mom.. my mom was dx small cell lung cancer in mid august, so we're new to this and feeling much of what you are. We were told without treatment 4-6 mths and with treatment, and a lot of luck, a cpl of years. It's certainly scary for all of us (and ALL of us need to cope with the dx). The best advice I've received so far is to not let my fears and anxiety overwhelm my ability to just listen and be there for her. I wish your mom (and yourself) comfort.

[Curiousaboutthis]

Although much seems hopeless for us on some levels, the greatest hope we can bring is to simply be there for our loved ones, stay as grounded in the present as possible and give all the love we can.

The challenge can be when other family members let the fear take over and attack others without meaning to.

I have been really working on staying out of judgment and just being with what is.

It's a moment by moment situation.

In that I know there is much I cannot change with what is going on (other than how I handle this) the two questions I ask throughout my day are:

1.How do I want to be remembered in this experience?

2. How do I want to remember this experience?

There are so many things in life we cannot change other than who we are in an experience. I would not have wished my dad's cancer on anyone and yet, it is here.

In how I want to be remembered it is as a loving daughter. In how do I want to remember this experience it is as one that as much love as could be shared is shared.

I want no regrets from day to day because I know today is in fact the only day we have.

K

[divinechild]

[Best advice: Not let fears and anxiety overwhelm our ability to be there for our loved ones with cancer. Yes, very well said and I think that is the single most important thing we can do for our own wellbeing and for our loved ones.....

Stay calm....Breathe....Yes.....

I needed to hear this especially I have a mood disorder and am on medication for it for many years....my ailing father and having to move at the same time has been throwing me off balance.....

It's so nice to have this forum and to read other's journey through this....

Blessings to you and yur family....

Shannon

quote="JaLee"]I too am sorry to hear about your mom.. my mom was dx small cell lung cancer in mid august, so we're new to this and feeling much of what you are. We were told without treatment 4-6 mths and with treatment, and a lot of luck, a cpl of years. It's certainly scary for all of us (and ALL of us need to cope with the dx). The best advice I've received so far is to not let my fears and anxiety overwhelm my ability to just listen and be there for her. I wish your mom (and yourself) comfort.[/quote]