MOM PASSED DUE TO CANCER

[ANGIELUVSSHAWN]

My mom was diagnosed 4 months ago with diabetes. Her doctor never bothered to look further into anything. Since then she progressively went down hill, each time she called the doctor or went to see him she was told it was part of the diabetes or something else useless to her. His initial finding of the diabetes was over a year ago, as that was the last time she had bloodwork done, but they never told her about it until 4months ago. Anyway, April 24th we took her to the hospital because she was really bad at this point, she couldnt breath normal, she hurt all over. They did several tests, cats scans, xrays, bloodwork, etc.. Cat scans showed an enflamed pancreas, enlarged lymph nodes around the lungs, lesions on the liver & lesions on the colon. They suspected cancer, but they needed to make a clear dignoses. They drained several amounts of fluid from her stomach, as she had been filling up, most likely due to liver failure. They sent the fluid away for testing and sent her home on April 29th saying there was nothing further that they could do but wait for the results, then they could go forth. The doctor stated there was nothing yet that said she had cancer for sure, but that May 3rd they should have results. She left the hospital and went to stay with my aunt, her sister. On May 3rd she was rushed to the hospital where my aunt lives and she was told that my mom was dying to call her family. We got there as soon as we could, only to have her take her last breathe at 4:30 am on May 4th. The doctors got the results of the fluid back before she passed and it was cancer that was spread throughout her body. They arent sure exactly where it started, but her symptoms and what she went through and how fast it went points to pancreatic cancer. Now I sit here, 30 yrs old, motherless. She was only 53. This is the hardest thing Ive ever had to face in life so far. Losing a mother is like losing a part of yourself. She was laid to rest on May 7th. When something as sudden as this happens it is hard to accept or explain and I cant accept that I dont have her anymore, or ever will again. I guess it will come in time, but its only been two weeks and to me it still feels like a dream. I also worry about myself, will I get it too and leave my 4 children behind, motherless? I dont know where to go from here, but Im taking it day by day. Her doctor never once looked into this, never once did anything further then state she was diabetic and send her to a nutrionalist and put her on pills of insulin. Could this have been caught earlier and maybe prolonged her life, could she have been saved? Who knows, but this doctor, he will pay.. I will not stand by and let another family go through something like this due to his neglegence.

It helps to talk so, I figured I would try to talk here. Thanks for listening.

Angie

[yvonne]

I'm so sorry you are going thru so much pain. Even though my father is currently alive I do understand what you are going thru. This disease happens to fast, from what i understand It goes so long undetected because of the placement of the pancreas. We've only known about my dad for now almost 4weeks and he has gotten worse everyday. today was a good day because he was actually able to go to the bathroom on his own, without the use of an enema It litterally made my day. I realize I will have to go day to day. there is no cure. I still believe in miracles but realize I need to be prepared for the worst. I get so frigthened when I think of life without him, and my mom being without him. My mind has a hard time going there. I feel very cheated, I want more time....I wonder sometimes how I will get thru this. My plan is to enjoy and embrace everyday with him....and try to be greatful for having him in my life this long. all we can do is be patient with our emotions right now. Our body is telling us how to get thru it all. This forum does help I know you all out there feel the same pain I do. best to you all.

[Mae]

Yovone
My husband was diagnosed with pan cancer in may of this year. We went though something like your mom did. He got sick one night we went to hosp.
the Dr.s ran some test. Told him they saw something on his Pan. did a G.i. series and dismissed him with no follow up appointment. For the next 2 weeks we keep calling the Dr.s trying to find out what they were going to do. After 2 weeks they did a CT guided Biopsy. we were told the biopsy was neg for ca. Then 2 weeks later they called and wanted to do some blood work a C19 it was elevated. The Drs then wanted to do another biopsy and a PET scan we went in for test the Dr's scheduled only the PET scan. We keep calling for the next week about another Biopys they kept puting us off. We finaly went to MAYO's and in 2 days got the diagnosis. His is not opertable, the ca Dr started him on gemzar. We do not know if it is working yet.
for a while I was real angery at the time it took to get a definite diagnosos (six weeks)and treatment started(eight weeks) (both my husband and myself have been in medical field and we knew what to expect when they saw something he pan.) But I do not beleve if we had got a diagnosis any sooner it would have made any diference. pan cancer is almost always a late diagnosis. Patients do not have signs until late This cancer is is a silent killer. I do not know how to tell you how to deal with your loss. I am still trying to deal with his diagnosis. I am 51 yrs old and cannot imagine my life without him. We hope for time and are trying to make the best of it. The Dr.s gave him 3 to 9 mo. we are now at 4mo and he is getting short of breath and weak but still works some every day.

God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers

[Anonymous]

I understand and feel your pain.
My Dad was finally brought home today with hospice care to live his final days where he wants to be. 6 months ago he was on the golf course every day, mowing the lawn etc. Colon cancer was found and surgery very successful; yet he never got better. Apparantly there was another tumor doctor didn't notice.
Naturally , we were furious. Then my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer of esophagus and liver. Well..I furiously explored the internet, and the more info I found , the more I realized that cancer is a disgusting, horrible disease with no explanation or cause.
I have accepted the fact that I need to deal with what has been given, pray for miracle, and cherish every minute I can spend with those I love. I don't have time or room for anguish or anger.
I am still very sad, as are too many people. I hope you can find each day a little easier knowing she is not in pain.
Unless you feel the doctor was grossly negligent, don't waste the time you have left consumed with anger, bitterness, and MANY years in litigation.
We also are incensed at the surgeon, but I'd rather spend my time remembering my Dad
Please let us know that you are coping

[yvonne]

Mae,
I'm sorry for your pain..The thought of It being missed diagnosed so many times frigthens me. My Dad had a a physical with blood work in Jan right after his 63 birthday....We were told Dad's case was not common because we have markers that come up in blood test when we have tumors or cancer in our body....Dad's never elevated, even with three large tumors in his body. In a way that worked out best for Dad's situation. He was able to host my wedding in March and dance the night away. He did not start to have symptoms till 6weeks after the wedding. a burning in his stomache. It took us many hospital vists, booking CTscans and having something go wrong so It would not be done...finally may 3 mom took him to the ER they finally did all the test, the ER doctor told him It was cancer and It was Everywhere. My Dad lasted 32 days and I believe that was so short because he was diagnosed at stage 4. Looking back now I'm happy we did not know anysooner, It would not of changed the outcome. The DRs at Kaiser Permanente were wonderful, they new he was dying but did every surgical procedure every x-ray, and every med to keep him comfortable. But once we new It went quick, he got sicker and weaker. We were able to keep him home the majority of the time...but thank goodness Hospice steped in the last week of his life. I wonder why I never hear much about Pancreatic Cancer......why there aren't any of those walks to bring attention to this awful disease. Enjoy your husband talk to him about things that need to be spoken of. Even if he's in a mild coma hearing is the last to go. I remember taking my Dad to get a stint put in and the Dr doing It pulled me aside and said "you know your Dad is real sick" my answer to him was I know but with the stint in place, he can't have any pain. I wonder did that D'r think I didn't know how sick my father was....or did he want me to give up on Dad? If I could of taken on my Dad's illness I would of done It in minute. I'm so proud of my Dad, he died with dignity and as care givers thats so important that there wishes get meet. I'm reading a book called "Grace and Grit" written by philosopher Ken Wilbur. Kens wife Treya had breast cancer.....In the book he includes her journals. It's a great book for all cancer caregivers because you get an idea of what the patient is feeling and It validates the fear and anger we all have. I know Its answering questions for me. Hang in there....keep visting the forum It really helps



Best to you
yvonne