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Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins...
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red...
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower..
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits..
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower..
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!
Age 56
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
NED on the 2/01/2013
No more scheduled visits to the Prof http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... NEVER GIVE UP
RULE NUMBER 3..... Don't forget the first 2 rules
No matter how hard you struggle and strive
You never get outta those shoes alive
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
All you gonna get is a ticket to ride..Will Powers 1983
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Left my embrace to live with our Heavenly Father in October of 2007 and now breathes with ease forever. I will miss this gentle, giving soul with the easy smile for the rest of my days, but have faith we will be together again. He's just getting a little break from me!
made me laugh too! but jpearson- I sneak in flush the toilet on my husband and I always run in and take mine first- so if its messy I can blame him
or I tell him Im going to put the washer on and if I was mad at him that day I really do.
soo soo accurate for the guy anyway. loved it.
MOMS Journey
April06- Emergencysurgery,exploratory,10units blood,largetumor and 10inches of colon removed,temp.colostomy.diagnosed stage IV colon.
oxyplatin,5fu
Oct06-radiation,surgery,several lymphs,cervix,1 ovary,fallopian,40% remaining colon,large tumor to adipose tissue,appendix,gallbladder removed.permant colostomy/iliostomy
oxyplatin,transfusion.
April 07-xeloda-overdose
surgery-1/3liver,partial diaphra, removed clipped and questionable spots oblated.
port-port rejection-port removed 1week.
picc line,5fu,oxyplatin,camptosar.
Oct-08-surgery-remaining ovary engulfed in tumor,partial bone scrape.
transfusion central line TPN 1 month.
oct-09-surgery tumor ,colon and jejuneum removed.
xeloda reduced. severe dehydration,heart attack.
april10-remission-avistan
oct-10-erbitux,camptosar
Jan-11-5fu
mar-11 return to original site-oxyplatin,5fu
Aug-11-erbitux,camptosar.
dec-28-blood transfusion
dec-30-back to chemo erbitux camtosar
Jan-16 injections neulasta and aranesp
feb16-transfusion
feb 21-Tumor found stomach,liver, and liver "hot spots" inflamed lymph in rt ureter in kidney causing obstruction-surgery schedualed Mar 16.
march 16/12-no more kidney obstruction not lymph ...dehydration is causing blockage, two litters blood for anemia, stomach liver tumor small-med,abalation, 1 hidden tumor deep in muscle mass on side flank(hid from scans) -gone!
june/15/12-blood transfusion
starting a regimine of celebrex
aug/16/12-blood transfusion
aug/30-12 discontinued celebrex -failure one kidney. needed to see urologist
sept/10-12-good urologist report one kidney functioning well for now.
oct/23/12-chemo pill Stivarga(regorafenib)
Nov/22/12-blood transfusion
dec/18/12-blood transfusion chemo pill dosage cut back to 1 pill.
Feb/21/13 neulasta injection
Feb/22/13-blood transfusion. still taking stivarga.
mar/20/13-arenespt injection rehydration and magnesium IV
mar/21/13-acute renal failure-kidney infection
april/1/13.-recovery from 4 day coma infection cleared/4 units blood/ off stivarga/starting rehab therapy,
the toilet and washing machine are good... but to get even with my lovely wife...nothing better than using her towel to dry off my "private" areas and put her towel back. Therefore I am the only one that knows...lol
josh- you really believe thats whats happening? ha ha she either1-switched towels for the next time and you thought it was a fresh one- but in fact it was the one yu used thinking it was hers.or if you do have seperate distinguishable towels what makes you think yours are that clean? who does the laundry?
MOMS Journey
April06- Emergencysurgery,exploratory,10units blood,largetumor and 10inches of colon removed,temp.colostomy.diagnosed stage IV colon.
oxyplatin,5fu
Oct06-radiation,surgery,several lymphs,cervix,1 ovary,fallopian,40% remaining colon,large tumor to adipose tissue,appendix,gallbladder removed.permant colostomy/iliostomy
oxyplatin,transfusion.
April 07-xeloda-overdose
surgery-1/3liver,partial diaphra, removed clipped and questionable spots oblated.
port-port rejection-port removed 1week.
picc line,5fu,oxyplatin,camptosar.
Oct-08-surgery-remaining ovary engulfed in tumor,partial bone scrape.
transfusion central line TPN 1 month.
oct-09-surgery tumor ,colon and jejuneum removed.
xeloda reduced. severe dehydration,heart attack.
april10-remission-avistan
oct-10-erbitux,camptosar
Jan-11-5fu
mar-11 return to original site-oxyplatin,5fu
Aug-11-erbitux,camptosar.
dec-28-blood transfusion
dec-30-back to chemo erbitux camtosar
Jan-16 injections neulasta and aranesp
feb16-transfusion
feb 21-Tumor found stomach,liver, and liver "hot spots" inflamed lymph in rt ureter in kidney causing obstruction-surgery schedualed Mar 16.
march 16/12-no more kidney obstruction not lymph ...dehydration is causing blockage, two litters blood for anemia, stomach liver tumor small-med,abalation, 1 hidden tumor deep in muscle mass on side flank(hid from scans) -gone!
june/15/12-blood transfusion
starting a regimine of celebrex
aug/16/12-blood transfusion
aug/30-12 discontinued celebrex -failure one kidney. needed to see urologist
sept/10-12-good urologist report one kidney functioning well for now.
oct/23/12-chemo pill Stivarga(regorafenib)
Nov/22/12-blood transfusion
dec/18/12-blood transfusion chemo pill dosage cut back to 1 pill.
Feb/21/13 neulasta injection
Feb/22/13-blood transfusion. still taking stivarga.
mar/20/13-arenespt injection rehydration and magnesium IV
mar/21/13-acute renal failure-kidney infection
april/1/13.-recovery from 4 day coma infection cleared/4 units blood/ off stivarga/starting rehab therapy,
You are not the only one who knows now, Josh. What was your phone number again???? I wonder how much it costs to call her from Australia!!!
Aussie, age 56, Dx Peripheral T Cell Lymphoma stage 2B bulky, aggressive Dec/09.
6 chop14 and Neulasta.
Clean PET April/10, 18 rads 36gy mop up. All done May 2010
Iffy scan Nov. 2011.
Scan Feb 2012 .still in remission.
May/2012. U/sound, thyroid scan, FNB. Benign adenoma. A lump in otherwords, nodule if you wish to be specific.
Still NED Nov 2012. On to yearly bloods now.
Shelia, we do have very different towel. im smart enough to shower after she takes off in the morning. Also, since I can no longer go to work, you can just call me Mr. Mom. I do it all
Ha! Sheila!! The old switcheroo. Thanks -- I needed that laugh tonight. Heck, my husband would ask me if I wanted to wash and dry his naughty bits. He was big on the woo-woo. Hehehe.
The toilet trick I'd use on my son when he was a snot. Shhhhh......
(Didee -- I'm in the States, give me his number, although I think we already got his number! LOL )
Last edited by pbj11; 11-10-2011 at 03:35 AM.
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV in 3/2005. Fought & lived over 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Left my embrace to live with our Heavenly Father in October of 2007 and now breathes with ease forever. I will miss this gentle, giving soul with the easy smile for the rest of my days, but have faith we will be together again. He's just getting a little break from me!
pbj- oh no you dont do the switcheroo. his may be tampered with too..you need to dig waaaay at the bottom of the laundered towels cause thats too much work for them not to mess it up. then you switch- but you would be using the clean one. Iwould be anyway. tee hee. Josh-since your the Mr. mom- good one! Im proud of you.
MOMS Journey
April06- Emergencysurgery,exploratory,10units blood,largetumor and 10inches of colon removed,temp.colostomy.diagnosed stage IV colon.
oxyplatin,5fu
Oct06-radiation,surgery,several lymphs,cervix,1 ovary,fallopian,40% remaining colon,large tumor to adipose tissue,appendix,gallbladder removed.permant colostomy/iliostomy
oxyplatin,transfusion.
April 07-xeloda-overdose
surgery-1/3liver,partial diaphra, removed clipped and questionable spots oblated.
port-port rejection-port removed 1week.
picc line,5fu,oxyplatin,camptosar.
Oct-08-surgery-remaining ovary engulfed in tumor,partial bone scrape.
transfusion central line TPN 1 month.
oct-09-surgery tumor ,colon and jejuneum removed.
xeloda reduced. severe dehydration,heart attack.
april10-remission-avistan
oct-10-erbitux,camptosar
Jan-11-5fu
mar-11 return to original site-oxyplatin,5fu
Aug-11-erbitux,camptosar.
dec-28-blood transfusion
dec-30-back to chemo erbitux camtosar
Jan-16 injections neulasta and aranesp
feb16-transfusion
feb 21-Tumor found stomach,liver, and liver "hot spots" inflamed lymph in rt ureter in kidney causing obstruction-surgery schedualed Mar 16.
march 16/12-no more kidney obstruction not lymph ...dehydration is causing blockage, two litters blood for anemia, stomach liver tumor small-med,abalation, 1 hidden tumor deep in muscle mass on side flank(hid from scans) -gone!
june/15/12-blood transfusion
starting a regimine of celebrex
aug/16/12-blood transfusion
aug/30-12 discontinued celebrex -failure one kidney. needed to see urologist
sept/10-12-good urologist report one kidney functioning well for now.
oct/23/12-chemo pill Stivarga(regorafenib)
Nov/22/12-blood transfusion
dec/18/12-blood transfusion chemo pill dosage cut back to 1 pill.
Feb/21/13 neulasta injection
Feb/22/13-blood transfusion. still taking stivarga.
mar/20/13-arenespt injection rehydration and magnesium IV
mar/21/13-acute renal failure-kidney infection
april/1/13.-recovery from 4 day coma infection cleared/4 units blood/ off stivarga/starting rehab therapy,
Left my embrace to live with our Heavenly Father in October of 2007 and now breathes with ease forever. I will miss this gentle, giving soul with the easy smile for the rest of my days, but have faith we will be together again. He's just getting a little break from me!
Ha for a minute there I thought we had new smileys...... very clever
Age 56
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
NED on the 2/01/2013
No more scheduled visits to the Prof http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... NEVER GIVE UP
RULE NUMBER 3..... Don't forget the first 2 rules
No matter how hard you struggle and strive
You never get outta those shoes alive
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
All you gonna get is a ticket to ride..Will Powers 1983
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
pbj- you beat me to it- I couldnt think of a response so I zipped mine too.haha that was sooo clever!
MOMS Journey
April06- Emergencysurgery,exploratory,10units blood,largetumor and 10inches of colon removed,temp.colostomy.diagnosed stage IV colon.
oxyplatin,5fu
Oct06-radiation,surgery,several lymphs,cervix,1 ovary,fallopian,40% remaining colon,large tumor to adipose tissue,appendix,gallbladder removed.permant colostomy/iliostomy
oxyplatin,transfusion.
April 07-xeloda-overdose
surgery-1/3liver,partial diaphra, removed clipped and questionable spots oblated.
port-port rejection-port removed 1week.
picc line,5fu,oxyplatin,camptosar.
Oct-08-surgery-remaining ovary engulfed in tumor,partial bone scrape.
transfusion central line TPN 1 month.
oct-09-surgery tumor ,colon and jejuneum removed.
xeloda reduced. severe dehydration,heart attack.
april10-remission-avistan
oct-10-erbitux,camptosar
Jan-11-5fu
mar-11 return to original site-oxyplatin,5fu
Aug-11-erbitux,camptosar.
dec-28-blood transfusion
dec-30-back to chemo erbitux camtosar
Jan-16 injections neulasta and aranesp
feb16-transfusion
feb 21-Tumor found stomach,liver, and liver "hot spots" inflamed lymph in rt ureter in kidney causing obstruction-surgery schedualed Mar 16.
march 16/12-no more kidney obstruction not lymph ...dehydration is causing blockage, two litters blood for anemia, stomach liver tumor small-med,abalation, 1 hidden tumor deep in muscle mass on side flank(hid from scans) -gone!
june/15/12-blood transfusion
starting a regimine of celebrex
aug/16/12-blood transfusion
aug/30-12 discontinued celebrex -failure one kidney. needed to see urologist
sept/10-12-good urologist report one kidney functioning well for now.
oct/23/12-chemo pill Stivarga(regorafenib)
Nov/22/12-blood transfusion
dec/18/12-blood transfusion chemo pill dosage cut back to 1 pill.
Feb/21/13 neulasta injection
Feb/22/13-blood transfusion. still taking stivarga.
mar/20/13-arenespt injection rehydration and magnesium IV
mar/21/13-acute renal failure-kidney infection
april/1/13.-recovery from 4 day coma infection cleared/4 units blood/ off stivarga/starting rehab therapy,
How to shower
Reply With Quote
(A thing or two missing, but yup, that's about right.)
Shhhhh......
Originally Posted by pbj11
