Thaks Mel and Chit, for your last posts. I just read them.
Merry Christmas to everyone on this board, I know that probably not many of us here feel like celebrating given our individual hardships.
Chit, how is your dad's procedure going? Has the tumor gotten smaller, or perhaps too early to expect progress...Has he lost weight since the diagnosis?
My dad's tumor has gone from 7cm to about 10 cm since he had his ultrasound and subsequent diagnosis about 2 months ago. Things do not look good...
I will no doubt post some questions for you Mel, as time goes on. The whole situation still seems surreal given that my dad is here at home, playing chess with me. Part of my mind does not believe that he will die as how could he? He is here sitting playing chess with me! Crazy all this.
I know exactly how you feel and this is how I felt when I was told by the doctor in June 2011 that my Dad probably had only 6 months to live. He was diagnosed with Stage 4B Liver cancer with hep-c. He also had problems of ascites forming. Doctors were only treating him symptomatically rather than trying to cure his cancer.
My dad passed away on the 7th November and it was the moment that I'll never forget in my life.
I can only tell you things that you could watch out for which would mean the signs of death are around the corner (within 48 hours- based on my experience with dad).
I wanted to do all that I can to prolong my father's life but it was not possible. Things became very bad when he started to lose his senses a bit..not too much but in-between he used to think he is in a different place and he also had some difficulty in identifying people at times not always.
He used to complain of pain near the liver area and immediately used to take the proxyvon which typically takes about 3-4 hours to work.
As days progress, his diet will get reduced drastically to an extent that he will refuse to eat. In my dad's case, he had one last bread and could not even move back into his room, I had to lift him and put him onto his bed(actually when I lifted him, I sensed that the end is near, since I could feel how heavy he was already).
He went into coma and didn't get up for 2 days which also meant, no fluid intake or food nor did he pass urine. That is when I had to take some call and get him admitted to hospital. The doctor told me that the end is very near and he can pass away anytime. I pleaded to the doctor that I want him to come back to his senses once and hear us and then he can die in peace. The doctor gave him an injection and said he may get up in 2-3 hours, which he actually did and saw each one of us and went back into coma. My mother also saw him the last before his death. The first signs of urine was in the hospital urine bag when I saw dark red(coca cola) colour urine in the bag. Doctor suspected the kidneys are probably gone. On the night of 6th Nov, it was my sister and I with my uncle(Dad's brother) in the hospital. My Dad's breathing started becoming heavy. He was in continuous oxygen supply and his breathing just started becoming heavy..I could see him fighting his way out and getting his pulse rates back to normal... We could not bear him fighting like this and struggling to live... At that point in time, I realized that he has come out of coma and spoke to him. I asked him to not fight to breathe but hold on his energy to open his eyes once and hear all of us. It was a miracle he opened his eyes and saw me and tears just came rolling from my eyes. I told him I will do everything that he always wanted me to do. I re-assured him that I'll do all the pending things that he could not get through. I also re-assured that I'll take care of my mother and he need not worry about anything at all in life and he can now pass away in peace. We all then told him not to struggle like this and fight his way out...as this is only causing more pain to him and to us to see him in this health. Lastly, I told him that "Dad, I've hidden only one thing in my life from you and that is hiding the fact that you have liver cancer. I don't want to have this thought in my mind that I could never tell you that you have liver cancer." He smiled at me as if he knew that he had liver cancer and he kept quiet all these months only for us to believe that he was not aware. And then finally, he closed his eyes and his pulse dropped and the docs declared him dead. They asked me if I want they can try to revive him by getting him into the ICU. I didn't want that to happen as I felt my Dad was very peaceful when he passed away and he knew that I will do exactly what I've told him.
I can only say enjoy every moment that you have with your father as I've done during the last one month that I stayed with him. I've recorded his voice and also video clips and lots of photos and I still look at them, hear them every day. I still talk to him and take his advice into everything I do. I feel an inner voice in me is nothing but him telling me what I should be doing and this way I feel he is gone nowhere but right inside me.
Originally Posted by boston1
My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer (2.5 inches in size) via an ultrasound after having various symptoms. He is waiting for a scan and biopsy but the doctor told him he has from a few months to maybe a year to live.
I do not want to go on without him and cannot imagine life without my dad.
How does one go on after such news? I can't sleep and just keep thinking awful thoughts. I think it would have been easier had he died of a heart attack as now it is like a death sentence was pronounced and we need to wait it out.