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Thread: New Here. Mother Diagnosed with Lung Cancer 2 Weeks Ago

  1. #61
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    hang in there breann, you are such an amazing young lady. i get your energy, your enthousiasm your commitment to your mum, i am totally positive that she appreciates that

    had a smile re the wallet!

    from time to time i will give my daughter my credit card plus pin number for whatever reason - she makes same joke, and i tell her that the consequence will be for me to remove her fingers and toes and arms and legs in a very slow progressive order, she gets the message!!!

    but like i say, had to smile being at times in a similar situation!!!!!

    love
    carol
    xx

  2. #62
    Senior User breannishome's Avatar
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    HAHA...Carol-Ann-sounds like my mom too. My mom always blamed me for her angina attacks and made me sit up well into the AM hours with her to calm down as punishment, instead of me going to bed. I always asked her to beat me instead...that didn't work. She always thought I was the worse kid ever. I mean, yeah I snuck out the house, drank at an early age, and was always a free spirit but little did she know then that I would eventually calm down. (I have my daughter and my job to thank for that!) I think it was mainly due to the rebellion of a preacher daughter’s her. Even her co-worker texted me the other day and told me how much mom's "attitude" had changed and how she was always saying positive things about me. It made me feel good. That’s how I know she appreciates everything I do for her. I can only hope she sees how much I appreciate her. I hate that it took this for both of us to get our ass off our shoulders but no need to worry about the past.
    Oh...I must admit my worries have slightly elevated. When we learned mom was at a stage 1b, I felt relieved (you know what I mean), but now they are talking about this "spot" on her spine that wasn't caught in the MRI worries me. 2 things...It's in a different part of the spine. Her arthritis was found in the lumber, this spot is in the thoracic and I remember reading somewhere that cancer is more likely to spread to that part of the spine. I also know that that’s the biggest portion of the spine so duh.. chances are bigger there....anyways...not going to worry myself crazy about it cause I only know what that does. But couldn't this mean the difference between a 1 and a 4???? Mom's BP keeps going from sky high to low low...and she has diarrhea and says she feels nauseous, but not vomiting.
    Well it's Monday, was hard to get out of bed after fishing with 3 youngens and an impatient man yesterday in a 14ft. boat for 9 hours, working half a day, meeting mom at radiation in one city and driving her 45 min. away for her MRI.
    I'm 26 Female Caregiver to 71yo. Mom on PD dialysis
    Lung Cancer diagnosed 2/10/2012
    Squamous Cell Lung Carcinoma 3b (4.7cm) 3/14/2012
    Start low dose Chemo 3/21/12 every wk for 7 wks. & 2 hi dose 3wks
    Start Radiation 7 wks.
    Switch PDialysis to Hemo. 3times wk/4.5hrs. each
    Hospitalized 3 diff. weeks. double infection, hemorg,pneumonia,cong.heart failure.
    NED 6/21/12
    Switch Hemo. to PDialysis
    Entire lung recur 9/26/12
    Every other scan is opposite.
    She feels GREAT so that's what counts!

  3. #63
    Senior User breannishome's Avatar
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    Well everyone. Between the amount of typing I have to do with work and now school, I hate to admit that I hate to even get up here cause my brain literally dosn't know what to type....HOWEVER......I am so irritated right now I decided to explain the situation to you guys than call my boyfriend, friends, and especially my mother....

    Please let me whine like a little spoiled brat for a minute. I have changed my whole schedule around in the past 2 months. The ony BAD thing about any of it was the fact that my mom has cancer. I don't mind taking my mom to apts or treatments or buying her things and taking them to her 20 mintues away, I DO NOT MIND.....but the fact that my sister sounds absolutlely careless everytime we talk blows me away.

    She sounds like she is absolutly miserable hearing any update on OUR mom. For example, Thursday we found out the results of the MRI, that those spots were also althritis. (I hadn't told yaw that yet.) but when I called my sister and told her, you would have thought I told her I was making a grill cheese...it had absolutly no enthusiasm to it.....THAT is how she acts about everything lately.....

    To top is alllllll offf. I JUST got off the phone with her. I told her that I took mom to radiation this morning and she just wanted to rest so I went where my daughter and boyfriend and his kids were and that we got to go fishing for about 3 hours.....AND that I had a good looking flip flop tan. She said "Oh well I am working on my tan at the pool." SSSKKKKRRRRTTT!!!! I was like " What? The pool?" she said "Yeah. Where I babysit the 10 year old twins, we go to the community pool everyday when they get off the bus."

    Whats so funny about the whole situation is that everyone always told me I would end up like my real mom, and beleive me, that was NOT a compliment. I know I'm not jelous, I woulnd't be able to stay away. Even before we found out mom had cancer, I told my company I could not relocate if my was still around. Why is it so easy for the sweet child everybody new as my sister? I NEVER use to miss worked unless it was something important that I couldn't do after work or on the weekends like take my youngin to the Dr. or Bank stuff. I feel like I'm loosing my credibility at work. No one has told me that and honestly they shouldn't have any reason, just me knowing that I'm not there, being seen, cause I catching things up very quickly.

    Oh yeah...My mom called me this past Sat. night and very non-chalontly told me "My hair is starting to fall out, please bring your clippers 2mo." I told her we knew this could happen, we have prepared and have your wig, its not big deal, its one of the non painfull, no big deal side effects of the chemo, I will do it 2mo, no worries. As soon as I hung up the phone I broke into tears.I have shaved alot of heads, I should have, I use to work in a salon and do hair out of my home weekly....I just never shaved my moms head. My boyfriend didn't know what in the world to think. I even woke up the next day (Easter Day) crying. I can't help admit I was curious as to what my mom would look like. Well...she put it off and put it off and finally was ready. My daughter helped me and coudln't stop laughing, I had told her not to before we got there but I don't think she could help it. When all was said and done my mom asked Autumn how it looked and she said " Your still my granny." I teared up but now that its done with its not so bad. I had bought her some cute hats and scarves sat. night after the phone call. We had a fashion show and then tried on her wig, it looked really good.

    Well nothing else to say, mom's got diareah and nasuous, only a few vomits. She's still smoking smoking smoking.......we are working on that!
    I'm 26 Female Caregiver to 71yo. Mom on PD dialysis
    Lung Cancer diagnosed 2/10/2012
    Squamous Cell Lung Carcinoma 3b (4.7cm) 3/14/2012
    Start low dose Chemo 3/21/12 every wk for 7 wks. & 2 hi dose 3wks
    Start Radiation 7 wks.
    Switch PDialysis to Hemo. 3times wk/4.5hrs. each
    Hospitalized 3 diff. weeks. double infection, hemorg,pneumonia,cong.heart failure.
    NED 6/21/12
    Switch Hemo. to PDialysis
    Entire lung recur 9/26/12
    Every other scan is opposite.
    She feels GREAT so that's what counts!

  4. #64
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    Well my dear...sounds like you still have lots on your plate. I know it's only hair but losing it symbolizes the fight against this deadly disease. There's no hiding from it when you see her, but I promise, you will come to get used to it. As far as your sister is concerned, she is the one who will lose out in the end. As you know...as tiring as your responsabilities are right now, you are the one who has the gift of time with your Mom...you are the one she counts on at a time when she needs someone more than ever...there is no greater gift you can give another. She will have to live with herself later but you will be able to hold your head high and know that you did everything you could for her. Honestly...I don't know how you do it...a job, school, a young child, a boyfriend and a lifeline for your Mom...Oh what I wouldn't give to be 26 again. Still, it must be exhausting. Please take some time for yourself as well. I still think your Mom sounds amazing...keep us posted. God Bless.
    Irish
    Irish,
    Caregiver to my Dad, who was diagnosed in June 2010 with Stage 1V NSCLC with single met to brain,
    He sadly lost his battle in August 2010 and we miss his smiling Irish blue eyes terribly.
    My Dad's story:
    http://www.cancerforums.net/threads/...th-how-he-died.

  5. #65
    Senior User breannishome's Avatar
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    I know this is a place for me to vent and I feel like sometimes the people I do vent to might get tired of it everyday, so its really nice to come here. HOWEVER, I shouldn't complain, I absolutly dont mind doing it and am kind of proud that I am proving everyone wrong in the sence that I would be the one gone and my sister would be the one to take care of her.....I am young and healthy, I should be thankful for that, I couldn't imagine what alot of the brave people up here who have it must be....they are the strong ones. I feel better now. It's spring break and we are going to take my daughter with us this week. Thursday, radiation (wouldnt go inside there) and chemo, will get mom straight and maybe go shopping or to the movies...mom wants her to come and she will be glad to get out of daycare.

    Feeling much better....It is exhasting but I do take plenty of time to myself. We did get to go fishing this weekend and cooked out on the grill for Easter, so I'm am getting a little me time.

    Thanks Irish...you always know what to say. Goodnight...Breann
    I'm 26 Female Caregiver to 71yo. Mom on PD dialysis
    Lung Cancer diagnosed 2/10/2012
    Squamous Cell Lung Carcinoma 3b (4.7cm) 3/14/2012
    Start low dose Chemo 3/21/12 every wk for 7 wks. & 2 hi dose 3wks
    Start Radiation 7 wks.
    Switch PDialysis to Hemo. 3times wk/4.5hrs. each
    Hospitalized 3 diff. weeks. double infection, hemorg,pneumonia,cong.heart failure.
    NED 6/21/12
    Switch Hemo. to PDialysis
    Entire lung recur 9/26/12
    Every other scan is opposite.
    She feels GREAT so that's what counts!

  6. #66
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    Hi Breannishome, I totally understand what you are feeling. I have a total of 3 siblings, 50, 48 (me), 46 and 24. The 24 year old came from my father's 2nd marriage. My 46 year old sister lives 4 hours away and my older brother 10 min away. It's my 24 year old brother that pretty much did nothing through our whole process. During the 5 weeks my dad lived with me, he came to see my dad 3 times. The final visit, was the Thursday before my father passed. He came to the hospice for a whopping 2 hours decided he couldn't deal and left. Unfortunately he told my dad he'd be back the next day and we never heard from him again. The night before my father passed, I had to tell my dad his son wasn't coming back to see him. I was concerned he was holding on for him. I personally don't get why he did what he did, but I just kept thinking I hope he doesn't regret this years from now. My brother lived with my dad up until I took over for his care, so I just don't get how one can go from talking and seeing someone every day to never calling him to see how he is doing. I did call my brother one time and told him that this was going to happen fast so he needs to make sure he is ok with his actions. His response was "oh, ok". That's it. Like Irish said to you, you can be proud of your actions. I will say the same thing, you should be proud of all that you are doing for your mom. I am very proud what I did for and with my dad. Those last 5 weeks with him, while short were so valuable to me and I will never regret it.

    Regarding the hair. My mother-n-law is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed 7 years ago, about 2 days after she started Chemo, she came to my house with a pair of clippers and asked both my boys (they were 13 & 9 at the time) to have a hair shaving party with her. She decided to shave all her hair off before the chemo had a chance to do it's thing. The 3 of them had a ball, they played around and shaved all sorts of different styles to her hair until it was all gone. I really admired the approach my mother-n-law had to the whole thing. She had the wigs, hats and scarves too and my boys got to see their grandmother being strong. It's something I will never forget.

    Stay strong Breanneishome, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    71 year old Father diagnosed 2/2/2012 with Stage IV Lung Cancer NSCS with METS to the Brain, spine, bones, Adrenal Glands, Lymph Nodes, Liver, Pancreas, omentum.


    Heart Attack 2/19/2012
    Whole Brain Radiation and Radiation to the Spine 2/27/2012 completed 15 sessions on 3/16/2012
    Heart Attack 3/10/2012

    Passed away 3/26/2012[/B] I love you dad, you will be missed.

    http://www.cancerforums.net/threads/...IV-Lung-Cancer

  7. #67
    Senior User breannishome's Avatar
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    Lalle, Thank for your response and prayers. Shaving mom's head wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, we had fun with it too.

    I really wish my sister was here to help me though.....
    I'm 26 Female Caregiver to 71yo. Mom on PD dialysis
    Lung Cancer diagnosed 2/10/2012
    Squamous Cell Lung Carcinoma 3b (4.7cm) 3/14/2012
    Start low dose Chemo 3/21/12 every wk for 7 wks. & 2 hi dose 3wks
    Start Radiation 7 wks.
    Switch PDialysis to Hemo. 3times wk/4.5hrs. each
    Hospitalized 3 diff. weeks. double infection, hemorg,pneumonia,cong.heart failure.
    NED 6/21/12
    Switch Hemo. to PDialysis
    Entire lung recur 9/26/12
    Every other scan is opposite.
    She feels GREAT so that's what counts!

  8. #68
    Moderator Top User
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    Hi Breann, You are a wonderful young person with a big heart and a great personality. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and at more times than than I can remember each has been a real disappointment to me, even my parents many times came short to me in my life, through it all I've learned I can't change them and they wont change me, but I've learned to enjoy the moments when we do come together and be a family, the power I learned even this week end that I have dealing with them is I'm under the grace of God, because Christ died for my sins, I so need reminders that I'm no better than they are, yet I've been blessed by the grace of God. Just let your sister know that it is ok if she is not strong enough to handle, You and your mom will do the best you can.
    God Bless
    Dan
    57 year old male, Diagnosed Nov. 9,2007 with NSCLC IV with Mets to the lymph's and brain and now my pancreas (9/1/11)
    Had full brain radiation treatment in Jan 08 treatments now every 3 weeks with Alimta, stopped taking Lovenox for clots, working full time
    http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9993

  9. #69
    Senior User breannishome's Avatar
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    Thank you Dano, I completely understand and beleive in what you are saying. There has been times that I have came short in what was expected of me, I have come to realize that. I guess my sister just rubbed me wrong.

    As far as our other family goes, I also have an Uncle/Brother (Uncle by blood but brother by adoption.) Meaning, we were both adopted by the woman we call our mom. Even my birth mom was my adopted sister. So in that sence, my mom also has a son, he lives about 5 hours away in Northern Virginia, he does not know about mom having cancer. This is the wish of my mom's, she says if there is ever a time where we know when shes getting close, it's up to my sister and I to call him if we want, but as far as right now, she absolutely dosn't want him trying to come in and take over everything with his manipulative ways. I can't help but admit that I am kind of glad. I use to live with him and I know how he is. I just hate that I didn't know when my bio mom was sick and then doing that to someone else, but the whole point is, he probably dosn't care anyways...his wife would try to keep him from even careing.

    Mom's dialysis isn't doing so great. She is on PD at home using a machine at night while she sleeps with a "manual" exchange during lunch time...this is where she empties what the machine left in her stomach into a bag on the floor, and then filling back up from one on an IV pole....gravity is amazing!!! Anyways, she said she tried draining the bag but when she came back it was clogged with fibers. Fibers, are not good. She had to call the Onc. to see if they wanted her to do the normal procedure for this....the thing about it is shes only ever had fibers once (not alot), and that was when she had Paratinitis (an infection in her catheter) but now she said yesterday there was ALOT. I wonder what this means...caused by chemo? cancer? radiation? We will see what the Onc. and Nephro. say tomorow. Taking my daughter tomorow too.
    I'm 26 Female Caregiver to 71yo. Mom on PD dialysis
    Lung Cancer diagnosed 2/10/2012
    Squamous Cell Lung Carcinoma 3b (4.7cm) 3/14/2012
    Start low dose Chemo 3/21/12 every wk for 7 wks. & 2 hi dose 3wks
    Start Radiation 7 wks.
    Switch PDialysis to Hemo. 3times wk/4.5hrs. each
    Hospitalized 3 diff. weeks. double infection, hemorg,pneumonia,cong.heart failure.
    NED 6/21/12
    Switch Hemo. to PDialysis
    Entire lung recur 9/26/12
    Every other scan is opposite.
    She feels GREAT so that's what counts!

  10. #70
    Experienced User fighting4dad's Avatar
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    Hey Breann, I hope your mom's appointment went well with her doctors. I was thinking about you guys today.
    Diagnosed 2/25/2012 with Extensive Small Cell Lung Cancer

    My very loving father passed away on 8/11/2012. I love you so much, Dad.

    Jeff A Coplan
    Loving Husband, Father, and Friend
    03/06/1957-08/11/2012


    My Dad's Journey

 

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