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Thread: Wife died of Cervical Cancer - Future Sexual Relations?

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    Wife died of Cervical Cancer - Future Sexual Relations?

    My wife of 20 years died 4 years ago of cervical cancer after a battle of 3.5 years. During the entire process, she never had an abnormal PAP (with at least 4 performed). HPV testing was ordered, but not pursued as, I believe, it requires an abnormal PAP, thus I don't know what her high-risk HPV status was. I will not have a future sexual partner if there is a significant risk of cervical cancer, so am trying to assess what that risk is. I don't have access to a Gyn Oncologist now to consult. The woman I am now dating understood her OB/GYN generalist to say that sex with a man in my situation would assure an 80-90% chance she would also die of cervical cancer. I think that's overstated or misunderstood, but am seeking some sort of accurate information. Input is appreciated as it is difficult to search and include the fact of no abnormal PAP and lack of HPV results.

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    Administrator Top User ChemoMan's Avatar
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    Hi misterjeem

    Take yourself to a doctor and ask those same questions. In a man HPV can easily been seen and a simply examination will show if you have it or not. HPV shows up as tiny little bumps around the Glans.
    I am now dating understood her OB/GYN generalist to say that sex with a man in my situation would assure an 80-90% chance she would also die of cervical cancer.

    That sounds very suspect and I would not believe this unless I saw scientific evidence to back it up which I have not .

    Oh by the way You can always use a condom and your partner will be safe.

    Good luck
    Age 58
    Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
    Stage 2a
    Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
    Officially in remission 9th July 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
    Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
    Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
    NED on the 2/01/2013
    No more scheduled visits to the Prof
    http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

    RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
    RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget rule Number 1

    Great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

    I may not have gone where I intended to go,
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  3. #3
    Top User april51's Avatar
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    I have to agree with Chemoman. Passing from cervical cancer is horrible. And I am sorry you had to experience that with your wife. I was told thirty plus years ago by an OB/GYN, that delivered my first child, that I had HPV. He also told me that likely 99% of the population had it if they had been sexually active. At that time, in 1980, he said it was in it's infancy, but that I should watch it very closely. I did. He was right. I did develope cancer and was treated via two surgerys.

    I personally know many women who have died from or lived due to early detection from HPV cervical cancer. In my opinion and from what I have been told by medical professionals, this is a fast moving cancer.

    I would make an appointment with her doctor and find out what is going on. 80 to 90% chance of getting the virus sounds closer, however, it is my belief it's closer to 100% of contracting it. Given your age and if she is close to your age I would be surprised if she didn't already have it.

    Yearly PAP tests are the only way to tell. After dx I had PAPs every three months for about five years until my hysterectomy. Doctors still suggest PAPs because the virus can spread into other tissues. Whew! a
    May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour. Born 1960. Diagnosed 4/2011 with one tumor, LUL, NSCLC. Tumor size 1.1 inches. Thoracic surgery 6/1/2011. No action taken. Eight weeks of radiation and chemo. Carbo and Taxol. Follow up with four rounds of Carbo and Alimta.
    December 2011 CT scan shows all clear.
    April 2012 CT scan shows all clear. July 2012 had several x-rays taken at the chiropractor for shoulder pain. Took them to the onc and nothing suspicious noted. See them again in Oct.
    October didn't work out. Pain in the left shoulder continued to worsen and lymph nodes in the supraclavical swelled so I called the onc and they bumped the regular scan up to September 19 and we went for the results on the 24th. The tumor is back and the spread is extensive. Option 1: Try targeting chemos that may work and then on to clinical trials. These would give me about a year or so if the cancer responds. Option 2: Do no treatment and let nature take its course. This will give me six months give or take. As good as I feel right now, Iím going for door #2 and will continue to live well and enjoy myself until I donít. Iíll keep you posted. Live it up everyone!

    7 months into hospice and palliative care. It has been a very good relationship with the organization as a whole with a minor glitch. April 2013 spent the night at hospice facility, PICC line inserted for morphine drip. I said I wouldnít but, had a hospital bed delivered. Started 10 rounds of palliative radiation to shrink the neck tumor. Busy month for me!

    I've taken a couple of nasty falls this last week. (first of & mid-May) Right on the cancer shoulder. So I have a life alert necklace on me now. I wish I could get my hands on a small scooter!

    There is another node swelling on the other side of my neck. Still small.

    April51's (Jody) daughter posted that her Mother's journey in this world had ended on July 8th 2013.You touched so very many lives. Soar high Jody!

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    Thanks folks. HPV status is a factor, but let's assume we have it somewhere between us. I would be best to know if it's high risk, especially HPV 16 or 18. Now assume it is and that if I'm the carrier and will pass it on. It would be great to know the epidemiology as to her risk of manifesting it in some way, especially as cervical cancer. If 1:1,000 carriers gets cervical cancer, it's different than 1:10. This is why I refer to access to a Gyn Oncologist, especially in the university setting where my late wife was treated. They would have they latest scientific info. I don't think a general OB/GYN, or a men's urologist or other non-specialized MD would know accurately. Does anyone know if my wife's lack of abnormal PAP over the course of 4 years is any indicator of lack of HPV? Appreciate the input.

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    Top User april51's Avatar
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    Again, I would ask a specialist on HPV. Or talk to her onc. I've seen a ton of GYNs over the years and the ones who didn't know a lot on the subject said so. Five years after the LEEP I paid $750 out of pocket to see an expert on the subject just for a consult because technology and info keeps getting better. I've also had, what seems like, hundreds of paps over the last thirty years and always made it a point to tell them about my original abnormal pap. Again, pathology can be wrong. My colpo showed no evidence of any abnormality. The doctor was very adamant that I toss that out and check again immediately. I'm glad I did. I am not up to date on the new numbers (16, 1 because when I was dxed they simply didn't have them. a
    May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour. Born 1960. Diagnosed 4/2011 with one tumor, LUL, NSCLC. Tumor size 1.1 inches. Thoracic surgery 6/1/2011. No action taken. Eight weeks of radiation and chemo. Carbo and Taxol. Follow up with four rounds of Carbo and Alimta.
    December 2011 CT scan shows all clear.
    April 2012 CT scan shows all clear. July 2012 had several x-rays taken at the chiropractor for shoulder pain. Took them to the onc and nothing suspicious noted. See them again in Oct.
    October didn't work out. Pain in the left shoulder continued to worsen and lymph nodes in the supraclavical swelled so I called the onc and they bumped the regular scan up to September 19 and we went for the results on the 24th. The tumor is back and the spread is extensive. Option 1: Try targeting chemos that may work and then on to clinical trials. These would give me about a year or so if the cancer responds. Option 2: Do no treatment and let nature take its course. This will give me six months give or take. As good as I feel right now, Iím going for door #2 and will continue to live well and enjoy myself until I donít. Iíll keep you posted. Live it up everyone!

    7 months into hospice and palliative care. It has been a very good relationship with the organization as a whole with a minor glitch. April 2013 spent the night at hospice facility, PICC line inserted for morphine drip. I said I wouldnít but, had a hospital bed delivered. Started 10 rounds of palliative radiation to shrink the neck tumor. Busy month for me!

    I've taken a couple of nasty falls this last week. (first of & mid-May) Right on the cancer shoulder. So I have a life alert necklace on me now. I wish I could get my hands on a small scooter!

    There is another node swelling on the other side of my neck. Still small.

    April51's (Jody) daughter posted that her Mother's journey in this world had ended on July 8th 2013.You touched so very many lives. Soar high Jody!

  6. #6
    Administrator Top User ChemoMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by misterjeem View Post
    Thanks folks. HPV status is a factor, but let's assume we have it somewhere between us. I would be best to know if it's high risk, especially HPV 16 or 18. Now assume it is and that if I'm the carrier and will pass it on. It would be great to know the epidemiology as to her risk of manifesting it in some way, especially as cervical cancer. If 1:1,000 carriers gets cervical cancer, it's different than 1:10. This is why I refer to access to a Gyn Oncologist, especially in the university setting where my late wife was treated. They would have they latest scientific info. I don't think a general OB/GYN, or a men's urologist or other non-specialized MD would know accurately. Does anyone know if my wife's lack of abnormal PAP over the course of 4 years is any indicator of lack of HPV? Appreciate the input.
    Misterjeem please stop wasting time here. Go and see a doctor and find out first if you actually have HPV ! As I said before You can use a condom rather than condem yourself to a life of celibacy but the choice is yours to make. Please make that appointment for a HPV test as soon as possible.

    Good Luck
    Age 58
    Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
    Stage 2a
    Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
    Officially in remission 9th July 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
    Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
    Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
    NED on the 2/01/2013
    No more scheduled visits to the Prof
    http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

    RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
    RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget rule Number 1

    Great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

    I may not have gone where I intended to go,
    but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

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    All that I read says there's no HPV test for men. It also says that condom use is no sure thing - better odds for HIV prevention. I may just need to go out-of-pocket to consult with an expert. Thanks for the input. I agree, the OB/GYN's declaration may have been less accurate than OB/wan/kenobee's.

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    ino on cervical cancer/hpv

    I have sent you private message while awaiting activation. Hope you receive it okay. First on issue of hpv there's a bit if confusing info here. First off, there currently is no test for men to determine if they have hpv and there are very few symptoms for men infected w/ virus. There are over 30 strains of hpv, much like herpes virus. Some are called low risk strains and cause genital warts, one of only symptoms a man may get, others are high risk strains, 2 in particular have been linked to majority of cervical cancer cases. If infected the majority of men and women cleanse their body of virus on their own, like ridding body of cold virus. In those women who do not, this virus may cause cells of cervix to go through abnormal changes as cells replicate. It is these changing cells which can turn into cervical cancer. However, this change can take 10-15 years to begin after becoming infected with virus. It can take longer in an older woman as their cells replicate slower than a woman in her teens or 20s infected as their cells reproduce much faster. Even if a woman infected begins this cellular change, these changes can be found by undergoing an annual pap test. And, if caught early it is very easily treated. The issue with condoms...they will aid in prevention of transmitting the hpv vurus which causes cancer as this is a vaginalky transmitted virus. They do not aid in transmission of virus which causes warts, as these types can be transmitted GT skin on skin contact. As for being infected w/ hpv and having normal paps. Yes, it is possible. Sometimes, as was my case, the cancer can develop high up on cervix, out of reach of pap swab and therefore be undetected. I actually had a normal pap and two months later was diagnosed with stage IV cancer which I have been battling a yr and a half. I have done much research on this disease. I hope this gelps you and saves you some $ on specialist. If you have any questions, I will ve glad to answer.

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    Thanks mamadawg. This is helpful and agrees with most of the info I have found. Appreciate the additional info regarding undetected hpv on pap. Since this is called "high risk" it is somewhat confusing to some that we are talking about outcomes, not that it is more contractible. If you have a link or study regarding contractibility and symptom manifestation it would be great. Blessings to you on your battle. Fight the good fight.

  10. #10
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    thank you for the well wishes. This link provides info on both areas you were looking for. Hpv is a very silent disease so it usually does not present symptoms until something serious starting to happen. So it is very important for women to get annual checks to catch it early. That said, here is the best link I have... hope it helps.

    Link removed as per forum policy
    Last edited by Didee; 03-14-2012 at 02:37 PM. Reason: Please read the rules and comply.

  11. #11
    Top User april51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mamadawg View Post
    I have sent you private message while awaiting activation. Hope you receive it okay. First on issue of hpv there's a bit if confusing info here. First off, there currently is no test for men to determine if they have hpv and there are very few symptoms for men infected w/ virus. There are over 30 strains of hpv, much like herpes virus. Some are called low risk strains and cause genital warts, one of only symptoms a man may get, others are high risk strains, 2 in particular have been linked to majority of cervical cancer cases. If infected the majority of men and women cleanse their body of virus on their own, like ridding body of cold virus. In those women who do not, this virus may cause cells of cervix to go through abnormal changes as cells replicate. It is these changing cells which can turn into cervical cancer. However, this change can take 10-15 years to begin after becoming infected with virus. It can take longer in an older woman as their cells replicate slower than a woman in her teens or 20s infected as their cells reproduce much faster. Even if a woman infected begins this cellular change, these changes can be found by undergoing an annual pap test. And, if caught early it is very easily treated. The issue with condoms...they will aid in prevention of transmitting the hpv vurus which causes cancer as this is a vaginalky transmitted virus. They do not aid in transmission of virus which causes warts, as these types can be transmitted GT skin on skin contact. As for being infected w/ hpv and having normal paps. Yes, it is possible. Sometimes, as was my case, the cancer can develop high up on cervix, out of reach of pap swab and therefore be undetected. I actually had a normal pap and two months later was diagnosed with stage IV cancer which I have been battling a yr and a half. I have done much research on this disease. I hope this gelps you and saves you some $ on specialist. If you have any questions, I will ve glad to answer.
    Now that was the most informative comment I have read on HPV. Thank you mamadawg. a
    May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour. Born 1960. Diagnosed 4/2011 with one tumor, LUL, NSCLC. Tumor size 1.1 inches. Thoracic surgery 6/1/2011. No action taken. Eight weeks of radiation and chemo. Carbo and Taxol. Follow up with four rounds of Carbo and Alimta.
    December 2011 CT scan shows all clear.
    April 2012 CT scan shows all clear. July 2012 had several x-rays taken at the chiropractor for shoulder pain. Took them to the onc and nothing suspicious noted. See them again in Oct.
    October didn't work out. Pain in the left shoulder continued to worsen and lymph nodes in the supraclavical swelled so I called the onc and they bumped the regular scan up to September 19 and we went for the results on the 24th. The tumor is back and the spread is extensive. Option 1: Try targeting chemos that may work and then on to clinical trials. These would give me about a year or so if the cancer responds. Option 2: Do no treatment and let nature take its course. This will give me six months give or take. As good as I feel right now, Iím going for door #2 and will continue to live well and enjoy myself until I donít. Iíll keep you posted. Live it up everyone!

    7 months into hospice and palliative care. It has been a very good relationship with the organization as a whole with a minor glitch. April 2013 spent the night at hospice facility, PICC line inserted for morphine drip. I said I wouldnít but, had a hospital bed delivered. Started 10 rounds of palliative radiation to shrink the neck tumor. Busy month for me!

    I've taken a couple of nasty falls this last week. (first of & mid-May) Right on the cancer shoulder. So I have a life alert necklace on me now. I wish I could get my hands on a small scooter!

    There is another node swelling on the other side of my neck. Still small.

    April51's (Jody) daughter posted that her Mother's journey in this world had ended on July 8th 2013.You touched so very many lives. Soar high Jody!

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    Thanks for the great link!!

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    Senior User Bamabelle's Avatar
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    Mr., that's such a good question. I just finished a round of treatment for a massive cervical cancer tumor and I can't get any of the docs I've dealt with to deal with the HPV issue (test me for it, even talk about transmission). I appreciate the info you generated here all right. The silence in my neck of the woods is killing me because TV and radio markets are saturated with public info spots telling me that HPV is "sexually transmitted cancer" and to talk to my doctor about it.

    I tried, and the best I have been able to do is find out what I can online and abstain altogether from any kind of sex.

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    thank you. I am trying to get word out there about this virus and disease. There is very little awareness and what they teach in sex ed classes is touched upon vaguely and passed over so quickly that young women do not get full scope of how deadly this disease can be. I actually suffered two seizures and comas from 8 cm tumor shutting down my kidneys and two fractured vertebrae. After chemo and radio I had to undergo a total pelvic exenteration surgery nearly a yr ago. So I now have no female organs, no bladder and a colostomy but I am at least approaching my first yr anniversary of being cancer free. I hope all goes well at your follow up scan next month.

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    you are very welcome. I hope the info was helpful for you.

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    Administrator Top User ChemoMan's Avatar
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    Hi All

    this thread highlights the importance of providing HPV vaccine to young women. If you have young daughters convince them to get the HPV vaccine as it could very well save their life.
    Age 58
    Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
    Stage 2a
    Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
    Officially in remission 9th July 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 1st October 2008
    Remission reconfirmed 17th June 2009
    Remission reconfirmed 7th June 2010
    Remission reconfirmed 6th July 2011
    NED on the 2/01/2013
    No more scheduled visits to the Prof
    http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

    RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
    RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget rule Number 1

    Great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

    I may not have gone where I intended to go,
    but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

  17. #17
    Top User april51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChemoMan View Post
    Hi All

    this thread highlights the importance of providing HPV vaccine to young women. If you have young daughters convince them to get the HPV vaccine as it could very well save their life.
    They now recommend teen boys get the vaccine also. I am with you chemo man. a
    May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour. Born 1960. Diagnosed 4/2011 with one tumor, LUL, NSCLC. Tumor size 1.1 inches. Thoracic surgery 6/1/2011. No action taken. Eight weeks of radiation and chemo. Carbo and Taxol. Follow up with four rounds of Carbo and Alimta.
    December 2011 CT scan shows all clear.
    April 2012 CT scan shows all clear. July 2012 had several x-rays taken at the chiropractor for shoulder pain. Took them to the onc and nothing suspicious noted. See them again in Oct.
    October didn't work out. Pain in the left shoulder continued to worsen and lymph nodes in the supraclavical swelled so I called the onc and they bumped the regular scan up to September 19 and we went for the results on the 24th. The tumor is back and the spread is extensive. Option 1: Try targeting chemos that may work and then on to clinical trials. These would give me about a year or so if the cancer responds. Option 2: Do no treatment and let nature take its course. This will give me six months give or take. As good as I feel right now, Iím going for door #2 and will continue to live well and enjoy myself until I donít. Iíll keep you posted. Live it up everyone!

    7 months into hospice and palliative care. It has been a very good relationship with the organization as a whole with a minor glitch. April 2013 spent the night at hospice facility, PICC line inserted for morphine drip. I said I wouldnít but, had a hospital bed delivered. Started 10 rounds of palliative radiation to shrink the neck tumor. Busy month for me!

    I've taken a couple of nasty falls this last week. (first of & mid-May) Right on the cancer shoulder. So I have a life alert necklace on me now. I wish I could get my hands on a small scooter!

    There is another node swelling on the other side of my neck. Still small.

    April51's (Jody) daughter posted that her Mother's journey in this world had ended on July 8th 2013.You touched so very many lives. Soar high Jody!

  18. #18
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    yes most definitely get boys the shot as well. Since there is no test for males, it is impossible to know whether they have it or not unless they are exposed to strain that causes warts. But if they get other strain they can then pass to a female which can lead to problems like cin and cancer. But once infected with either one they stay infected as there is no treatment for it. So imperative they get shot before they become sexually active. They actually say the younger they are in recommended age group, the better their bodies are in fighting off infection of virus. Think it aids in production of correct antibodies.

  19. #19
    Top User april51's Avatar
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    You have to remember, I got the virus from a young man. If we hope to eradicate this virus then everyone needs to be treated. In my opinion, otherwise, it will just continue to spread. a
    May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour. Born 1960. Diagnosed 4/2011 with one tumor, LUL, NSCLC. Tumor size 1.1 inches. Thoracic surgery 6/1/2011. No action taken. Eight weeks of radiation and chemo. Carbo and Taxol. Follow up with four rounds of Carbo and Alimta.
    December 2011 CT scan shows all clear.
    April 2012 CT scan shows all clear. July 2012 had several x-rays taken at the chiropractor for shoulder pain. Took them to the onc and nothing suspicious noted. See them again in Oct.
    October didn't work out. Pain in the left shoulder continued to worsen and lymph nodes in the supraclavical swelled so I called the onc and they bumped the regular scan up to September 19 and we went for the results on the 24th. The tumor is back and the spread is extensive. Option 1: Try targeting chemos that may work and then on to clinical trials. These would give me about a year or so if the cancer responds. Option 2: Do no treatment and let nature take its course. This will give me six months give or take. As good as I feel right now, Iím going for door #2 and will continue to live well and enjoy myself until I donít. Iíll keep you posted. Live it up everyone!

    7 months into hospice and palliative care. It has been a very good relationship with the organization as a whole with a minor glitch. April 2013 spent the night at hospice facility, PICC line inserted for morphine drip. I said I wouldnít but, had a hospital bed delivered. Started 10 rounds of palliative radiation to shrink the neck tumor. Busy month for me!

    I've taken a couple of nasty falls this last week. (first of & mid-May) Right on the cancer shoulder. So I have a life alert necklace on me now. I wish I could get my hands on a small scooter!

    There is another node swelling on the other side of my neck. Still small.

    April51's (Jody) daughter posted that her Mother's journey in this world had ended on July 8th 2013.You touched so very many lives. Soar high Jody!

 
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