Hi Inica, you asked to come on here and tell my story, after posting here I'll also be sharing my story with Grace for her book. I'm a 26 yr old mother of 4 and have an amazing husband , Mark, who has always been my savior and completely supportive. I have stuggled through much in my life, the nightmare which is my life started at age 4 or 5. At first I had a little accident at age 4, my grandparents dog jumped on me and knocked me off the wall of their circle driveway. I had severe head trauma and had many surgeries on my skull.when i started kindergarten at 5 my teacher noticed I was different than all the other kids in my class and made a huge scene about it with my parents, i was taken to a hospital where I had MRI's and catscans and the result was horrifying for my parents back in the 1980's Epilepsy was unheard of.That was my diagnoses.Life began to get increasingly worse for me after that.At the age of 7 I started being molested.I told my father but he said it was my fault.But that's another issue at another time.At age 14 my father allowed a 17 yr old boy who had been orphaned and had made friends with my older brother.The boy started sexually and physically abusing me, because of what i was told by my father at 7 I thought it was best to keep it a secret, as the boy continuosly brutally raping me he began hurting me more because I kept fighting him.Through 7 months of torture I suffered and survived beatings, cigarette burns on my genetals, having him force a gun inside me, a knife slowly stuck deeper and deeper into my back, being shot in the chest, many cuts "everywhere", and an STD called the Human Pavaloma Virus.I was told I was infertile and could not bare children, and even if i did miraculously conceive a child my female organs were so badly scarred and"damaged " I could never carry it to term I would always lose .Well at age 18 I was raped at work by my photographer I had learned to trust, haha yoke on me right? 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant.My father, "my hero, NOT!" told me to have an abortion it was my fault again for the rape because i was a whore and deserved it. But I wanted my child so bad I didn't care if the baby was conceived by my rapeist or by my fiance' at the time.By the grace of God I carried my child as close to term as i could, my daughter was born February 10 of 2000 at 6 lbs. 4.4 oz. she's beautiful ( today she will be 8 yrs old in feb. and is in 1st grade), 2 months after she was born I was in a car accident with my fiance' at that time husband and proven father of first child; found out i was pregnant with my second daughter. she was born a month early on december 9 of 2000 also at 7 lbs 10 oz. but by then my body had started to fail me and could not give birth to her naturally or by csection; she was born by 4 degree episiotomy ( a gruesome painful way to have a child i felt every cut every turn of the flesh every one of the 200 stitches that would from then on hold me together) I was dead for about 5 minutes. that's when my doctors discovered the tumor on my cervix caused by the HPV virus. after healing from all that my doctors removed the tumor and froze my cervix. my husband at the time had already started to abuse me and was found the day of his second daughter's birth in bed with a 14 yr old girl.needless to say I got a divorce. 9 months later I got a job and moved my girls and I into our own house. My ex husband regardless of the abuse was allowed to see the girls on weekends.One weekend he broke into my house, raped me and said I was his property and was not allowed to see other men. Just FYI the girl he had an affair with was infected with herpes so guess what was passed on to me? Not the herpes itself but a form of it again the HPV. My female organs were so damaged by my lovely childhood my gyno nor the specialists she sent me to could access my cervix in order to recheck my paps. February of 2002 I met Mark the man who saved my life and my soul ; and my step son. Just after a couple weeks of dating we knew each other were the one and we would be together for eternity. 2 weeks later we got married. After 2 miscarriages I finally conceived my birth son. he was born via c-section on March 15 of 2003 at 7 lbs. 11 oz. One yr later my ex hired a man to end my life but by the grace of God once more when the man saw my kids he stopped and ran off. One week later Mark had the kids and I moved up to his home town 1400 miles away. By then my body was getting weaker and weaker, and the pains I had to suffer through were unbearable. Mark went on a gyno hunt and found two doctors who could help. For 3 yrs of pain , chronic fatigue, and uncontrollable bleeding the doctors revised a plan in December of 2006 to do laproscopic surgery from my belly button down instead of going up through my vagina which had failed many times before. On my birthday in January of 2007 I went in for the procedure while undure anesthesia level 4 tumors were found. My cervix was riddled with level 4 cancer, as was my uterus , everything but my ovaries. A small spot was also found on my bladder. By the time I awoke in recovery I had had a radical hysterectomy and biopsy done on my bladder.When I woke up I saw my husband sitting in the corner face as white as a sheet, and my doctor checking my pupils. My doctor then informed me what all had been done and then she said the dreaded sentence as I look in my husband's eyes. " If I had not found this when I did and did what I had to do while you were under, this come christmas would have been your last." Since February I have been in remission and constantly checked and rechecked. I'm alive today and enjoying life as much as I can. To this day I still have emotional issues with it but I am told every yr my tests come back negative I live another day longer. I'm not sure if the emotional scars and pain will ever go away. I have no clue if the daily fear I still have will ever get better but right now, right this minute, right this second I still am able to hear my children laugh and see their smiles and feel Mark's touch everytime he holds me; I still can feel his soft lips on mine as he gently kisses me as if I'll break. Today is a good day..
My Story by Kat
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9 Lives and still kicking 
. It sounds like you are doing great now and you have a wonderful family, so I'm very happy for you, you deserve it! 
It just seems to me that my life is not making a difference... until someone else tells me how something I said helped them understand better what was going on in their life. I cannot see myself very clearly because I am manic depressive; it is hard to see what is real when looking through bipolar eyes.
. I am sure your family thinks so too 
. I know that we are glad that you are still here with us.
