New here and desperate

[Big Daddy Al]

Was diagnosed a week ago with 4 brain tumors(not sure the type) was in a fog when wife took me to provider. I remember him saying 3-9 months for survival.

I am 58 and the wife is 34, we have a beautiful almost(6/22/06) 3 year old daughter. I really want to see her grow up and remember me. My question is, when my time comes, should the wife bring our daughter to the funeral? Will this effect her in a negative way?

This is really hard on me, I am a nurse and not use to asking for help like this.

Thanks for any reply!

AL

[ChemoMan]

Hi Al

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis, not the news anyone wants to get.

Read Brainman's story it should give you hope. With some luck he will read your post and drop you a line.

Don't despair all is not lost, hang in there and fight this thing, you can do it!

[brainman]

Al, I am very sorry about your cancer. Although it is hard to give you any advice without knowing more specifics, I too have been where you are now. When I was first diagnosed, my son was only 3. I have pictures of him on my lap in the hospital recovering from the biopsy. I too wondered if I would live to see him or my daughters graduate, marry... If you are anything like me, it is like time ended... no more past, no more future.

I say this to everyone about a prognosis... A prognosis is just a statistical number. I do like to know my prognosis but only in order to set some realistic goal for the things that I still would like to do with whatever time I have left. After that, I try to set aside the prognosis as much as possible and to just do all I can to achieve those goals.

You might like to include in your goals making plans for your son's future... not goals like college and such... I am thinking more about those special times... transition times of life... graduations, marriages,... and somehow leave some kind of reminder for him that you did not abandon him and are still with him.

Obviously, you will want to spend a lot of quality time with your son, wife, and rest of your family.

Keep us informed. Welcome to the one forum no one wants to join but most are happy with having joined.

[Big Daddy Al]

Thank you for the reply! Gonna go 1 day at a time, and spend as much time as I can with her and the wife!

[Tammy]

Hello Al,(family)
First of all,,,,I am so sorry to hear your news. Second of all welcome to our little online family, I hope you will find strength here and well for your questions Brainman is very smart when you need a question answered. Also there are others as well.... Brainmans story is VERY inspirational. My only advice I can give you is to not give up,,,,ever,,,there are people who have beaten this nasty. I truly hope all turns out well for you, keep us updated and I will keep you and your family inmy thoughts....Take care and be strong! You never know how strong you are until being strong is what you have to be...

[brainman]

Al, I just noticed that you said you have 4 brain tumors. That means that it is highly unlikely that they are primary brain cancers. Most likely they are metastatic tumors from somewhere else. Have they done other scans to try to locate the primary?

This is not just a trivial distinction; it will have a major impact on the treatment(s) you are offered.

Keep us informed.