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View Full Version : Refusal of Treatment - Life Expectancy



carrela1970
01-17-2010, 05:57 PM
My mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer in November (2009). The gynecologist doesn't know what stage it's at, only that the uterine biopsy came back positive. My mother is only 62 years old, however, she's schizophrenic. She is refusing treatment and she won't even go to the hospital to find out what stage it's at.

I'm assuming that the bleeding was the only symptom and fairly new, but I can't say for sure. If left untreated, what is an approximate time frame until someone dies from this? I realize it can spread and depending on what it spreads to, the time frame can vary, but is there a general number of years or months for this?

rmaureen
01-18-2010, 08:25 PM
Carrela1970,

Oh my, I did not see your post to just now! What a terrible predicament! I really cannot speculate the time frame. So much depends on the stage of the cancer, the grade (slow, moderate, or fast), and the type (endometrial or sarcoma). Endometrial adenocarcinoma is the most common form--around an estimated 95% of uterine cancer is this type. And as mention, a lot depends of what organs cancer may travel to.

I am sorry for your mother, and you and your family. I will definitely praying for your situation. Is there anyone she is willing to listen to on this? Maybe someone outside your family? Does she see a psychiatrist? Or maybe a pastor. Carrela, my heart is breaking for you. Please let us know if she changes her mind. This disease can be very treatable the earlier caught and dealt with.

Pixie
01-19-2010, 03:25 PM
Hi carrela1970,

Welcome to the forum, I am sorry you have to be here. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you especially as Uterine Cancer is one of the better ones. With treatment she could make a full recovery.

As Rhonda says it's difficult to estimate a time frame, try and persuade her to at least find out what stage she has, even though it's difficult to stage uterine cancer without having a hysterectomy.

I don't know what to suggest, just to let you know we are here for you if you have any questions or worries.

carrela1970
01-19-2010, 06:55 PM
Thank you Rhonda and Pixie for your responses. I've tried to convince her to get the stage determined but she just refuses stating that St. Anne told her she will cure her.

The day that I wrote the original post, I got a call from my grandmother. My mother was at her place for lunch (they live in the same building) and when she went to go back to her place, she was too dizzy and weak to go. My grandmother offered her her walker but she didn't feel it was safe enough for her to get safely to her apartment. Since my grandmother is only 85 lbs and my mother is overweight, she couldn't help her to her apartment. I had to go over and walk my mother down (they live only one floor away from each other) to her place. She was as white as a ghost and was as pale the last few times I had seen her.

I tried to get her to go to the hospital again and she refused. My grandmother was with me, she's tried several times to get her to go get the cancer looked after and she won't. I've tried reasoning with her and told her of all the cancers to get, it was the one that could be treated successfully but she'd have to get it looked after right away before it spread anywhere (assuming it hasn't spread). Since she won't go, we're waiting for the inevitable... I was wondering what kind of timeframe we'd be looking at. It's unfortunate, sad, and downright stupid, but there's nothing else we can do but make her comfortable in the meantime.

rmaureen
01-19-2010, 09:51 PM
I wish I knew what would help in your mom's case. I just do not have clue as to the time frame she is dealing with. It depends on so many factors--even other medical problems could factor in the equation. I believe God gave knowledge to doctors and much of medicine to the world. Tell her she has nothing to lose by finding out what she is dealing with. I imagine, however, you have already had such conversations with her. Is she loosing a lot of blood? What kind of symptoms do she currently have?

yayajojo
01-30-2010, 06:37 PM
I am sorry for your tough situation. I was diagnosed in November 2009. I had been bleeding heavily for two years and was severely anemic. I had my first abnormal smear three years prior with a subsequent negative biopsy. My hepatoligist sent me out for a diagnosis on the cause of the anemia and endometrial cancer was determined. I had a complete hysterectomy with clean lymphs (16 nodes submitted ).

I originally refused to have surgery. My family and doctors stepped in. After major surgery 20 years ago I developed an abnormal and debilitating fear of medication. I have panic disorder and am allergic to all beans, nuts, cabbage and a slew of medications. I have isolated myself to avoid exposure and placate the fear of lossing control in public. If your mother has mental illness it may be possible for someone else to make the decission for her.

Everyone is different and progression can be very slow depending on where the cancer starts. It is possible I had my cancer longer than 3 years. None of my Doctors would talk numbers until after the surgery.

To accomodate my phobias they didn't give me anything prior to surgery. The I.V. & meds were given after sedation. They removed everything after the surgery so I wouldn't freak out. I went home 17 hours after the hysterecomywith no further medication. I probably should have stayed a day because it was tough getting up and sitting for the ride home.

The doctors will work with you and your mother. I suggest you seek the help of a Priest to talk to your mother. The quality of my life is better since the surgery. The toxic environment cancer causes may exasperate your mothers mental illness.

I am wishing you the best.

Pixie
02-05-2010, 08:42 PM
Hi Carrela,

How is your mother doing, have you managed to get her to the hospital? Hve you talked to her psychiatrist? Let us know how it turns out, we are all thinking of you.


yayajojo, welcome to the forum, it sounds like you had a really tough time, I'm glad it all went well in the end, Wow, you went home 17 hours after your Hysterectomy, that must have been hard.

Take care both of you.

Pixie

yayajojo
02-05-2010, 10:41 PM
Thank-you for the welcome. I wish I found this site before my surgery. The waiting period is awful. The people here seem to be more upbeat and caring. I was very very lucky. The first four days I thought I was gong to die then on the fifth day, voila I was up and running. All my doctors were amazed at how fast I bounced back. My biggest problems were the resulting thrush and yeast from the blanket bombing and the sudden hot flashes. It took weeks to correct. Everyone else that had the same type cancer and treatment I had spoken with had very difficult recovery.

Pixie
02-05-2010, 10:51 PM
Hi yayajojo,

This site is the best, it has helped me so much, I don't know what I would of done without it :lol:

Has your Cancer been staged? Are you being offered any other treatment? I also had terrible problems with thrush but after my radiation, I'm terrified that it will come back again. I would rather have another hysterectomy that go through thrush again!!

Pixie

yayajojo
02-06-2010, 03:18 AM
Hello,

I had endometrial adenocarcinoma grade 1A with clear lymph nodes.

I felt the same way about the thrush. YUK!!!!!! The thrush was hideous it was painful and the docs didn't warn me about it so I could be prepared.

I woke up on the third day with cotton balls and hunks of skin in my mouth. I looked it up on line then I went to the health food store and bought refridgerated potency gareenteed probiotics. I broke a capsule open on plain yogurt and let each spoonful squish in my mouth twice a day. I also took two caplets at each meal to reestablish the good bacteria. I'm allergic to nystatin in feminine suppostories so I used Yeast Arrest by Vitanica. It has boric acid, lactobacillus, tea tree oil and E. It relieved the situation down there immediately. The tea tree has a eucalytus like odor and I was paranoid that any who sat next to me could smell it.

For now I don't have any other treatment, things may change. I just have to sit it out.

I didn't know much about this cancer. All I knew is that ovarian cancer is swift. I thought for sure that I was dying soon. Mostly because of the internet horror tales. (I swear some people just make up stuff to freak people out.....)

The first thing all four doctors said to me was "good news you got the best kind of cancer you could get...." What!?!!! is there such a thing? So here we are. People ask me what I got for xmas and I just reply ....Cancer.

I hope yours goes well and you have a great new year. My family says I had my mean bone removed with the cancer. How are you doing with the hormone transition? I was already half through menopause so it's not to bad. I didn't experience that great loss of self or femininity that many women do. My eyes and skin are dry but overall I'm good.

Are you suffering any lingering effects?

Pixie
02-06-2010, 12:53 PM
Hi yayajojo,

It's great that your end diagnosis was 1a, that usually means no further treatment, I hope for you that it stays that way.

I know what you mean about the diagnosis, I was also told by many doctors how good and curable Endometrial cancer is, well thats great but it's still a cancer diagnosis, we still have a cloud hanging over us with the thought that it may come back!

I don't have any problems with going through an early menopause, I was really worried as my mother still suffers from terrible hot flashes, but so far I haven't had any.

Physically I also feel good, apart from getting tired very easily and catching every bug that goes around, emotionally, well that's another story :lol:

Take care of yourself, if you have any other questions or worries feel free to post, we are all going through the same here and it really helps to know that someone understands.

Pixie

carrela1970
02-08-2010, 07:43 PM
Hi everyone,

Just an update on my mother. She's still refusing to go to the hospital. She won't talk to a psychiatrist or anyone of the likes. She has started to lose weight now. She is large but I've noticed in the last 3 weeks or so that she's losing weight. I buy her groceries for her so I know pretty well what she eats. A lot of it isn't very healthy (a lot of sweets and fat) and despite my efforts of buying her salads and healthier food, she won't eat them.

She was very happy this past Friday night because she's losing weight. There wasn't much point of telling her that it's the cancer that's doing it because she refuses to believe she has cancer. Of course she claimed that St. Anne was helping her lose weight :roll: Had I said anything about the cancer, it would have just rained on her parade and she wouldn't have believed me anyhow.

I've tried a couple of times to convince her to go to the hospital since I last posted and still no luck. It's just a matter of waiting now, however long that will be.

rmaureen
02-08-2010, 08:55 PM
Carrela,

This is such an awful situation. If I recall correctly, she will not listen to your grandmother either. Can her psychiatrist take steps to enforce treatment? I do not know, however, what the legal ramifications are in such a case. It very well could be in the eye's of the law she still has the ultimate authority to make decisions regarding her personal medical treatment. Yet, obviously, she is not thinking this issue out clearly. Do she still visit with a psychiatrist or psychologist regularly?

carrela1970
02-08-2010, 09:06 PM
Hi,

She does not have a psychiatrist and hasn't had one in a long time. She won't see one. If I could have her deemed incompetent of making her own decisions, I have to weigh her physical health over the quality of her life. She would be extremely angry, miserable, and upset if I were capable of forcing her to have this treated etc. So what's the cost to it? I don't mean the monetary cost of it...

She won't listen to my grandmother either. We both have tried to get her to go but she won't hear of it. We've done what we can to try to get her to go but to actually force a grown woman to have something treated that might not even be treatable at this stage is, in my opinion, inhumane. She is like a 5 year old child in many ways as far as coping mechanisms go but she's still a grown woman.

If she was to say she'd like to get it treated, I'd do everything I could for her. Without that though, we just have to accept what's going to happen. It sucks but that's the way it is.

rmaureen
02-08-2010, 09:16 PM
Wow, Carrela, My response is a desperate one; yet I see what your saying. Quality of life is important, and it would be terrible for her to get so upset with her family. This just really stinks all the way around. My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine how difficult this is for you to see your mom's health deteriorate. We are here for you. I hope and pray she has a change of heart and seeks treatment.

Pixie
02-09-2010, 01:42 PM
Hi Carrela,

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it's really hard to know what to say. It must be heartbreaking to watch your mother deteriorate before your eyes.

I worry about what is going to happen when your mother can't take care of herself, I really hope she sees sense and lets someone help her (even if it's too late for a cure), she is so lucky to have a daughter that really cares and would do anything for her.

We are here for you, even if it's just to let off steam.

Pixie

carrela1970
02-09-2010, 07:18 PM
Thanks everyone for the support and kind words. I'll post any new developments that come up.

jwyant89
02-21-2010, 09:48 PM
Hi carrela1970,

I really feel for you and your mom. It is so hard trying to do what is best for someone who does not want to hear it. I was wondering will your mom take supplements, and can you use the weight loss as a way to get her to make at least some kind of therapy sound appealing. I know that sounds weird, but perhaps.

Not everyone wants to do "traditional" or accepted therapies, and some do very well. If your mom is willing to take pills, there is a theory that if you can make your body alkaline, the cancer cannot survive. Of course that would entail eating mostly veggies and taking something to help the alkalinity along, like barley leaf pills or alkalizing drops. I realize we are not supposed to add links, so you will have to do some research. Please try to get her to stop eating sugar....sugar feeds cancer, and processed foods are real bad for, well for everyone, but especially for her. There have been some amazing results with nutritional therapy, and by doing it you will balance out weight wise. So if you are heavy, you will lose weight, and if you are too thin you will gain weight until you reach your optimal weight.

I hope your mom will agree to do something. She also may be getting weak, because she is anemic. I was bleeding all the time and severely anemic, pale, winded and all around tired. You can try adding iron to her diet if that is the case.

Stay strong, and be creative to get her to do things.

roxyqueen
12-26-2016, 12:00 PM
Thank you Rhonda and Pixie for your responses. I've tried to convince her to get the stage determined but she just refuses stating that St. Anne told her she will cure her.

The day that I wrote the original post, I got a call from my grandmother. My mother was at her place for lunch (they live in the same building) and when she went to go back to her place, she was too dizzy and weak to go. My grandmother offered her her walker but she didn't feel it was safe enough for her to get safely to her apartment. Since my grandmother is only 85 lbs and my mother is overweight, she couldn't help her to her apartment. I had to go over and walk my mother down (they live only one floor away from each other) to her place. She was as white as a ghost and was as pale the last few times I had seen her.

I tried to get her to go to the hospital again and she refused. My grandmother was with me, she's tried several times to get her to go get the cancer looked after and she won't. I've tried reasoning with her and told her of all the cancers to get, it was the one that could be treated successfully but she'd have to get it looked after right away before it spread anywhere (assuming it hasn't spread). Since she won't go, we're waiting for the inevitable... I was wondering what kind of timeframe we'd be looking at. It's unfortunate, sad, and downright stupid, but there's nothing else we can do but make her comfortable in the meantime.

Hello, I just wanted to say thatI think that it is the cancer patient's decision to not receive treatment...for the woman in 2010...about her mother who is mentally and physically ill...She is obviously suffering in this life mentally..I think you are maen to call your mother stupid and sad..I think that you should not judge until you are facing something like this..You never know how people suffer..Maybe your mother does not want to go out without her beliefs first..But whatever the case..Everyone should remember to not be selfish even if you think the other is being selfish.....I have recently been diagnosed with cancer in my uterus,,I have no idea which stage or even which type ..I only know the grade is 3...I have disrespectful 32 & 26 year old girls who really would probably wish that I was dead and would never come out and admit it..I think that is one of the reasons why a lot of people dont want to fight.watching all the hate in this world and knowing that your kids turned out to be spoiled... selfish and materialistic......This world is getting very evil...I am disgusted to know how hateful people really can be at a time like this...I also would like to add that there is not just a simple hysterectomy and its over with,, It could very well be in the lymphnode system and other areas of the body..I think that too many doctors down play this uteran cancer... is ve

jorola
12-26-2016, 04:16 PM
Dear Roxyqueen,

This thread is over 6 years old and the poster has not been back. We discourage reopening old thread to avoid confusion but in light of your own recent diagnosis you are welcome to please start your own thread. there are many welcoming members who are here to offer you support during your journey.

I am now closing this thread but again encourage you to start your own.

Peace and comfort.

Jodie

lisa1962
12-26-2016, 04:17 PM
roxyqueen:

Sorry to hear of your own health concerns and you have reason to be here. Just a couple things regarding your particular post here. We DO NOT judge others here. We have many that come along and need a place to vent whether they are the person diagnosed, caregiver or loved ones. We do not allow calling each other “mean” so please respect that. The OP has not been back to the forum and this current thread is over 6 years old. Please take notice of thread dates and latest posts. “Bumping” older threads push back current ones.

I welcome you to create your own thread so that we can offer our support without confusing responses on other member’s threads.

As noted above, thread is over six years old so I am closing thread to avoid confusion

Lisa