PDA

View Full Version : New member, surgery tomorrow



renalnewbie
08-26-2008, 12:24 PM
Good Day, all:
I probably should have accessed the forum sooner. I was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma on 7/31 and surgery is tomorrow. I have been totally unable to process anything and am just going with what I am told to do. I mean, I am asking questions, etc and I 'm not going into it blindly, but I have just been getting the work paperwork done and scheduling appointments and trying to be supportive to others in my life who are having a hard time handling it and consequently I am totally unprepared for surgery tomorrow.

it has to be full open as laparoscopic is not an option. I do have a good doc and a good hospital (Jefferson in Philly). A lot of things could be a lot worse but it still is what it is.

Sorry to dump in this forum, which is probably meant for intros only. Mods are welcome to redirect me as needed.

thanks for reading.

brainman
08-27-2008, 01:42 AM
renalnewbie, I am very sorry about your cancer. I am probably too late in this reply for you to read it before your surgery but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about and praying for you and a quick recovery.

renalnewbie
08-27-2008, 02:02 AM
I got the reply, thanks. Trying hard not to freak out. It;s amazing howmuch effort one puts in to trying to make others feel better about my illness.

I don't resent them at all, honestly. I am lucky to have them there for me. Too many people confront this without support.

here's one thing I could do without, though: "Well, at least you have TWO of them". i mean, it's very true, and my other one is not involved, all good things. But I still have to go through radical surgery...ah well.

It's going to be a long night. It's 10PM here and check in is not for 12 or 13 hours.

Thanks for responding.

brainman
08-27-2008, 02:22 AM
Honestly, making others feel better at this time is not your job. First, the best you can do is make them forget at least momentarily what is going on with you. But most importantly they should be taking care of you. You have enough to deal with without worrying about how others are reacting to the news.

I am not suggesting that you should be callous to the feeling of others. Surely, there is enough pain and worry for all of you. It is just not your primary duty right now to worry about others. I know it is easy for me to tell you all this since I do not know you or your family. You probably have always been the emotional rock for the rest of the family... the one they could depend on for support in times of crisis.

Good luck in your surgery tomorrow.

renalnewbie
08-27-2008, 02:29 AM
Thanks for the insight.
I guess I am perceived as strong, one who generally offers guidance and direction and advice. That's okay. I am about ready to let go all of that and just focus on me.
Well, about 12 hours to go.'
Thanks again,
Dean (aka renalnewbie)