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Thread: How long will my dad live?

  1. #1

    How long will my dad live?

    Dad is 72 w/ stage 4 nsclc. diagnosed this July'09, there were no signs that it had spread to the bones, so he went ahead w/ his first chemo treatment, but one month later (this week)there are spots on his spine and his left lung is worse.

    He talks to his oncologist in private and has not told us how long he has to live. He's coming home from the hospital today after having been almost killed by the chemo. He's agreed to hospice care at home.

    How long does he have? His breathing has been good w/ the exception of 2 episodes of shortness of breath which required medical care. He doesn't cough, is not on oxygen, but is in constant pain around his back and abdomen. Pain medicine seems to control it well. His spirits are good, his appetite is good.

    Are we talking days here? Or months? Why does it matter to me so much? As long as we're making every day count now and keeping him comfortable. Why do I still want answers? I'm so sad. I'm a mom of 4 kids. Feel guilt when I'm not helping him and my mother, but because i am with them so much, my life at home is strained
    Silly Sparrow

  2. #2
    Senior User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Hi SS,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your father's recent diagnosis and that the chemo was too harsh for him.

    Why does it matter to you so much? Why do you still want answers? Because that's your dad and you love him and this cancer stuff is rocking your world!

    Are we talking days here? Or months? It's really hard to say what this horrible disease will do. The doctors really don't know how long, and even if they told your father a timeframe, it's just their estimate.

    I would enjoy every day, and try your best to help your parents while maintaining some sense of normalcy in your own household. Yea, right! Since your dad is in good spirits and the medicine is helping with the pain, things are pretty good right now. Seize these good days. And if you find the right time, talk to your dad and let him know how you feel and ask him to share some of the info he received from his doctors.

    This forum is wonderful! Come here often. Vent, exhale, share thoughts and prayers with others on this roller coaster ride. The people here are great!

    Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers,

    53 yo female - first breast cancer diagnosis in January 2001; second breast cancer diagnosis on May 1, 2014


    74 yo mother - 29 year breast cancer survivor, radical mastectomy with no radiation and no chemo and no recurrence.

    Presented to the ER on April 14, 2009 with pleural effusion and pericardial effusion. Diagnosed on April 17th with stage IV adenocarcinoma NSCLC with mets to the lumbar spine. Began chemotherapy on May 1st- Carboplatin and Alimta plus Zometa for bone mets.

    To read a summary of our journey: http://cancerforums.net/about12486.html

  3. #3
    Moderator Top User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Hello SS
    Sorry that you have to join this roller coaster ride as TP calls it and she is so right! My out of the blue guess is that your dad will live months, give or that a month. All in all whole lot less than he or you would like. Now not much time for all the love you have for him to be shared. This is time to show your kids how you love grandpa, as they live on they will remember the love you showed and how they were involved in that love, it is special times, build the memories.
    God Bless
    57 year old male, Diagnosed Nov. 9,2007 with NSCLC IV with Mets to the lymph's and brain and now my pancreas (9/1/11)
    Had full brain radiation treatment in Jan 08 treatments now every 3 weeks with Alimta, stopped taking Lovenox for clots, working full time

  4. #4
    Regular User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    SS my mom was dx sclc Aug 09... she is very sick and barely eating and getting around. She starts her first chemo treatment Thur.

    I can so-relate to how you feel. My mom lives alone so I'm her right hand. I just posted (another forum I think) about how I too feel taxed. I 'want' to do everything I can to help her but balancing my own needs, my family needs, and helping her, is feeling like more than I can handle. I guess I just wanted to say "you're not alone" and "I know how you feel."


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