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Thread: One Surgery Done, One to go, and I don't how I can deal with the next one

  1. #1
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    One Surgery Done, One to go, and I don't how I can deal with the next one

    Both of my parents have cancer (both diagnosed in April). My mom has been doing chemo since then, and my dad had surgery soon after, for his appendiceal cancer, which he had for the 2nd time. He recovered quickly from the first surgery, but then had complications and ended up returning to the hospital for 3 weeks. While in the hospital he had 2 more surgeries. He has now returned home, and is slowly recovering and gaining back the 30+ pounds that he lost. He can't do much of anything which is understandable, and as the chemo begins to really effect my mom, more responsibility is falling on me, and my 9 year old sister. My mom is having surgery a week from next Friday (July 15), and I leave for 3 weeks of sleepaway camp 2 days later. I'm worried that I'm going to have a hard time at camp, or that no one will be looking after my sister when I am gone, as that has been one of my main jobs since school got out. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas or suggestions of how I can try and deal with all the emotions I'm feeling, and start to feel ok about going away to camp. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Top User
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    Hi and I am so sorry that you are going through this. Mind if I ask how old you are? As for ideas, first of all, who will be helping your mom and dad while you're away? Hopefully other family or friends will be around? If not, you or your parents I think should definitely be trying to line that up (maybe they already have). As for the emotions you're feeling, first off I would suggest realizing that you can't do it all. Second, remember that despite all of what's going on, you have a right to have some fun and take a break from all this and NOT feel guilty about it. In fact, I think you have even more of a right than most, because you have so much to worry about that you need this break more than the others who are going to camp. So just keep in touch as you're able while you're away (phone calls or whatever) and enjoy. Best of luck to you and best of health to your folks!

  3. #3
    Top User pbj11's Avatar
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    Hi Emma,

    I'm so very sorry to hear of this happening to both your parents as you are a very young family. This is an unbelievable burden for a 15 year old. I can't add much to what Bill5 has said to you. Getting other family, friends, or the church involved has to happen as neither you or your sister can't be expected to carry this load yourselves.

    Bill5 is very correct that you need a break. Is your sister scheduled to go away to camp this summer too? I hope there are some plans for her to do something a little different to get a break too.

    You're a very mature young person to be so concerned about your younger sister's well being.

    I hope your parents do well with their upcoming treatment/surgeries.

    Hugs to you, enjoy your time away with no guilt, and God bless,
    PBJ
    Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV in 3/2005. Fought & lived over 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

    Post describing our journey: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.ph...er=asc&start=0

    Left my embrace to live with our Heavenly Father in October of 2007 and now breathes with ease forever. I will miss this gentle, giving soul with the easy smile for the rest of my days, but have faith we will be together again. He's just getting a little break from me!

  4. #4
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    Thank you! and I'm 15.

  5. #5
    Emma- I agree with what was said above. Being that your 15, Im sure your parents had something to do with the arrangement of the sleepcamp.
    Ask them how they feel about it. If altho these things are going on with your family, Im sure if your parents needed you to stay they would tell you.
    Altho you are a huge help(being that a 9 year old is not a baby) I think its safe to say things will be ok for the time being while you take a deserving break.
    Im sure your parents have family and friend contacts that they can fall back on in case of need.
    you need to enjoy your time with your friends and have a good time. Just keep contact with your family to ease your mind and let them know you care.
    Everyone needs breaks for all this from time to time. If we didnt get one we wouldnt be anygood to our families if we were run down with stress overload. Getting your mind away from all the family matters will do you good, and you will be in better mind frame to help on your return. hang in there you sound like a very caring daughter Im sure they are proud. you can update us whe you get a chance.
    MOMS Journey
    April06- Emergencysurgery,exploratory,10units blood,largetumor and 10inches of colon removed,temp.colostomy.diagnosed stage IV colon.
    oxyplatin,5fu
    Oct06-radiation,surgery,several lymphs,cervix,1 ovary,fallopian,40% remaining colon,large tumor to adipose tissue,appendix,gallbladder removed.permant colostomy/iliostomy
    oxyplatin,transfusion.
    April 07-xeloda-overdose
    surgery-1/3liver,partial diaphra, removed clipped and questionable spots oblated.
    port-port rejection-port removed 1week.
    picc line,5fu,oxyplatin,camptosar.
    Oct-08-surgery-remaining ovary engulfed in tumor,partial bone scrape.
    transfusion central line TPN 1 month.
    oct-09-surgery tumor ,colon and jejuneum removed.
    xeloda reduced. severe dehydration,heart attack.
    april10-remission-avistan
    oct-10-erbitux,camptosar
    Jan-11-5fu
    mar-11 return to original site-oxyplatin,5fu
    Aug-11-erbitux,camptosar.
    dec-28-blood transfusion
    dec-30-back to chemo erbitux camtosar
    Jan-16 injections neulasta and aranesp
    feb16-transfusion
    feb 21-Tumor found stomach,liver, and liver "hot spots" inflamed lymph in rt ureter in kidney causing obstruction-surgery schedualed Mar 16.
    march 16/12-no more kidney obstruction not lymph ...dehydration is causing blockage, two litters blood for anemia, stomach liver tumor small-med,abalation, 1 hidden tumor deep in muscle mass on side flank(hid from scans) -gone!
    june/15/12-blood transfusion
    starting a regimine of celebrex
    aug/16/12-blood transfusion
    aug/30-12 discontinued celebrex -failure one kidney. needed to see urologist
    sept/10-12-good urologist report one kidney functioning well for now.
    oct/23/12-chemo pill Stivarga(regorafenib)
    Nov/22/12-blood transfusion
    dec/18/12-blood transfusion chemo pill dosage cut back to 1 pill.
    Feb/21/13 neulasta injection
    Feb/22/13-blood transfusion. still taking stivarga.
    mar/20/13-arenespt injection rehydration and magnesium IV
    mar/21/13-acute renal failure-kidney infection
    april/1/13.-recovery from 4 day coma infection cleared/4 units blood/ off stivarga/starting rehab therapy,
    swollen hand no apparent reason black spots in vision off and on. both cleared up.
    may/22/13-home oxycodone for pain shoulder neck arm
    june/1/13 pain subsided off oxy onto aleve
    june/09/13-pain back off aleve on vicodin
    june 10/13-cancer in back/neck- starting radiation for arm neck and shoulder pain.
    june24/13-last day of radiation-on steroids
    july1/13-swollen legs and feet-lasix off steroids still on vicodin and xanax
    july 23/13 vicodin cut in half blood transfusion.
    sept/6/13-off all pain meds since late aug
    scan results fracture in spine mid back
    sept/12/13-spine healing on its own,weaning off steroids, no visible tumors.
    nov/7/13-edema both legs and one arm on lasix since oct.
    nov/21/13- leg edema subsiding still alot in one arm- she is talking but keeps her eyes closed. achy but no major pain. nurse and aide to visit once a week schedualed. having trouble standing.
    nov/24/13-sadly but peacefully moms cancer journey is at an end, she will start her new spiritual journey together hand in hand with dad.

  6. #6
    Moderator Top User Gillette's Avatar
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    Emma, all before me are so correct. Take care of yourself, and take this time. It may be a good time for your sister to grow a little too- 9 is not a baby, I agree. By now , I hope your parents have share their plans for your camp time, my prayers go out to you, dear, and your family.
    Kathy: still hearing Ben's music, and feeling his love: but from the Heavens now

 

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