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Thread: Checking in and sending love

  1. #1

    Checking in and sending love

    Hi everyone,

    It's been almost 4 months since my beloved sister passed away with pancreatic cancer. (Oct. 7 2012). I miss her everyday and at times I still think I hear her calling me to help her turn over or to give her a drink or a bite of food. We scattered her ashes a few weeks ago where she wanted to be laid to rest. It was good and it was more closure.

    There are still days that I'm knocked to my knees with grief and don't know how I'm ever going get through this and then there are days I feel that I'm making remarkable progress and feel pretty well. Such is the process of grieving....it truly is a roller coaster.

    I just wanted to touch base and check in on everyone. May your journey be easy and your burdens light. Peace to all of you who are going through the last days with your loved ones. Keeping you all close in my heart.

  2. #2
    Top User Soshayna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    I am glad you checked in peaceseeker, it is nice to hear from you again. I can't believe it has already been 4 months...I still remember how hopeful you were when it seemed like she was doing so well and looking for her own place. I am glad that you have been able to find some closure, it is a challenge to ride the waves of grief, but I am happy to hear that you are finding your way. Thank you for the prayers and good wishes for all! Hugs!

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Top User DebbieC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    New Hampshire
    My dad passed a day before your sister, and I truly know how you feel. I am at the exact same stage of my grieving, up and down several times a day. This evening happens to be one of those times where I just miss him more than I can even put into words, where the only thing I can think to say is that I want my Dad. It is such a roller coaster, one that doesn't seem to end or at times feels like it never will.

    I wear a small amount of my dad's ashes in a heart around my neck, and close to my heart always.

    I'm glad that you are getting by and hope that each coming day brings you more peace. Thanks for popping in!

    March 21, 2011 - Dad diagnosed. Pancreatic Adenocarcinoma on head of pancreas.
    April 2011 - Gemcitabine and radiation for a total of 12 weeks.
    October 14, 2011 - Successful Whipple procedure. Cancer free! Best 5 months of my life!!!
    March 2, 2012 - CT scan and discovery of possible mets to both lungs.
    March 23, 2012 - Biopsy confirmed recurrence.
    May 2, 2012 - Folfiri regimen started. Stopped after 2 treatments due to infection.
    June 2, 2012 - Switched to Xeloda
    Sept. 21, 2012 - No more chemo...treatment not working anymore. Now we wait and pray.
    October 6, 2012 - My dad is now at peace in Heaven, watching over us until we meet again.

    ♥ Forever in my heart! Miss you every day more than words can say! ♥

  4. #4
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Washington, DC
    I am with Shannon and recall that as well and am glad you checked in. I am hoping to beat this so my husband doesn't have to go through that grieving because I am scared to how reckless he would become.

    Fall 2011 - SO SICK. Should have seen a Dr. for diagnosis!!
    Beg. of 2012 Age 26 - Almost DEAD & diagnosed Stage 4 Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer - Spread to Liver, Lymph nodes, Stomach, Cervix, Abdomen & Bowels... VERY SEVERE CASE of PC
    8/12 - Hospitalized for a week for spleen rupture
    2/13 Chemo stable/ cysts shrunk, no growth - I'll take that
    3/13 Hospitalized for hole in fistula in colon caused by cancer. Got stent and healing!

  5. #5
    I'm going to a candlelight memorial tonight for all the patients taken care of by the hospice I used with my beloved sister. They are honoring all the loved ones lost in 2012. Just a time of remembrance. I'm just not ready to forget that my sister walked this earth. It is comforting to remember her in this way. Will let you know how it went.

  6. #6
    Senior User laurah01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    So nice to hear from you Peaceseeker. My dad has been gone a year now and there are still rough patches, I just think I will always have this hole in my heart and I am learning to live with it. Our church had a candle light mass at the end of 2012 in rememberance of all of those lost, it was very touching and nicely done. I am sure your sister is still with you and I am sure she will always be grateful for the amazing care you gave her.

    Dad diagnosed with Stage IV PC with mets to liver March 4, 2011 ~ Died 11 months later, February 4, 2012.

  7. #7
    Thanks laurah01. I'm very sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you. You have now passed that dreaded one year mark and I do pray your burden starts to become lighter and the good days start to outnumber the sad. Two weeks from today is my beloved sister's 54th birthday. In a way I dread it and in other ways I look forward to remembering her by a small but loving gesture of lighting of a candle on my front porch. I suppose this kind of post really belongs in the coping and memorial forums rather than here in the pancreatic cancer forum. I don't want to take anything away from what all of these brave people are fighting so I will post about the candlelight memorial in the memorial forum under my original post titled In Memory of Laney Sullivan. If anyone is interested, please feel free to read.

    Many blessings and much love to all of you who are fighting this horrible cancer. I remember you in my prayers still. I was so sad to read that teacher (Elaine) passed away and that Orly's dad passed, also. My heart goes out to their families. I know their pain.
    Last edited by peaceseeker51; 02-11-2013 at 07:52 PM. Reason: spelling


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