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Thread: My Dad's Battle

  1. #1
    Newbie New User
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    My Dad's Battle

    I was browsing this forum for a little while tonight. Can't remember exactly what brought me here, but I started reading. I figured I should join just to share my dad's relatively short battle. I also wanted to say that I wish the best for those of you who are battling this yourself or have a loved one who is.

    My dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in late 2013. I can't remember for sure, but I believe it was 2 or 3cm when found. I also think my mom said it was adenocarcinoma, but it may have been squamous cell.

    I was in between jobs. So I took some time off of work and moved in with my parents (only lived about 35min away) In order to help out, because dad needed transportation to radiation treatment. He went 5 days a week for 6 weeks. At the end, I think they said the radiation had helped some.

    However, surgery and chemo were never an option. Not at any point. He had a slew of other health complications that deemed surgery and chemo more harmful than good. He had COPD, bad kidneys, bad liver, esophageal varices, and a lot more.

    Overall he seemed to feel pretty good. Months went by and he was still kickin'. He was his usual happy self. He would stumble over his words occasionally, or do something without realizing it, and he'd laugh at himself, rather than get frustrated. He was always very positive.

    Well, around summer of 2014 he started to decline pretty rapidly. He refused to show it, but he didn't feel well. My mom would have to tell my siblings and i, because dad wouldn't tell us the whole story after each doctor visit.

    He got to where he wouldn't eat much anymore. He wouldn't drink much. He was sleeping 16-20 hours a day. When he was awake he was mostly his normal self.

    At a recent appointment the doctor said it had also spread to lymph nodes in his abdomen. As time went on he was in bed more and more, eating and drinking less and less. He was at home the whole time, with hospice care. My mom was able to take plenty of time off. A hospice nurse noticed a bed sore one day and said they usually give them a week once those form. A week would have been a Saturday.

    He passed on a Thursday morning, before the week mark. I don't believe he was in pain, because he had constant pain management and medication. A morphine drip, I think. My mom thinks he hastened his own passing because she thinks he may have heard the nurse tell her "a week". And so she thinks he knew everyone would come on Saturday to be with him one last time, so he sped it up. He wanted to keep everyone from witnessing it. He would have been 62 in October.

    It's been painful since he's been gone. But I spent the first 27 years of my life with him. He was surrounded by so much family in his last year of life. I really enjoyed the one on one time I had with him when I took him to radiation treatment every day for 6 weeks. That's time I'll never get back, and I'm so glad I didn't miss it.

    Hope you all continue to fight. This stuff really saddens me, but it's a fact of life, and a positive attitude can carry you a long way.

  2. #2
    Administrator Top User Didee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    11,461
    I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting his story. We do have a coping and support forum here should you feel the need for some support.
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    Aussie, age 61
    1987 CIN 111. Cervix lasered, no further problems.

    Years of pain, bleeding, women's plumbing problems. TV ultrasound, tests, eventual hysterectomy 2007, fibroids in lining of Uterus.

    Dx Peripheral T Cell Lymphoma stage 2B bulky, aggressive Dec/09.
    6 chop14 and Neulasta.
    Clean PET April/10, 18 rads 36gy mop up. All done May 2010
    Iffy scan Nov. 2011. Scan Feb 2012 .still in remission.Still NED Nov 2012.
    Discharged Nov 2014.

    May/2012. U/sound, thyroid scan, FNB. Benign adenoma.

    Relapse Apr 2016. AITL. Some chemos then on to allo transplant. Onc says long remission was good. Still very fixable.

    SCT Aug 2016

  3. #3
    Newbie New User
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    Thank you, Didee. I'll be sure to check the support forum some time. My mom has taken it harder than anyone. Watching her was probably the most difficult part of the whole ordeal. But we're getting by. Pretty much everyone knows the pain of losing a loved one. You won't ever forget, but you also can't dwell on what you can't change.

 

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