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Thread: A year since losing my Brother in Law

  1. #1
    Super Moderator Top User Baz10's Avatar
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    A year since losing my Brother in Law

    It is exactly a year that we buried my BIL after a short battle with Colon Cancer.
    Since then my SIL has had to dispense with his cherished motor cycles
    First to go was his Hayabusa, followed by the BMW 1100 and last but not least his beloved Harley Low Rider.
    Yes he had a passion for motor cycles, so did I but grew out of them after a couple of near misses.
    At his funeral the North East Harley club did a cortège escort and after the burial outside the graveyard 30 plus Harley's exploded into life. That is a sound I shall never forget and thank you guys on this day quite a number apparently turned up a the graveyard to pay their respects in memory.
    George was simply George he helped many elderly and sick people doing plumbing and painting jobs because of their illness couldn't do or afford to get a tradesman in.
    He had no edge, told it exactly as it was and didn't stand for any BS from anyone.
    He was too young to die at 62 but despite knowing what I went through either deliberately chose to ignore his symptoms or unfortunately we shall never know why.
    Yet from diagnosis to burial was only 10 weeks, ten weeks non in our family will ever forget, there is no dignity in dying from CRC not at all.
    It was not painless, anxiety ridden and at best absolutely traumatic for himself and ourselves.

    He leaves Lynn who has been nothing short or amazing during the whole episode and a Staffie Jet
    who is the most adorable, obedient, kind and loving animal one could ever wish for.
    As I call him, "The dog on springs with the untrainable tongue"
    When we are up there, he so gently takes hold of my wrist and pulls me to the door, let's go, then sits and looks at me with Cmon uncle Barry I'll take you for a walk.
    He is so good natured one day he's going to go missing and be on the back seat of our car as we sneak him home with us.
    He is a testament to George's training and how he treated all his dogs over the years, every one of them was a tribute to George.
    Anne and I laughed last night as she is frightened of dogs, but when we first went up it took 4 days with Jets gentle under the arm nudges then sitting and looking at Anne with baleful eyes to train her to stroke him.
    Lynn and I used to be in hysterics watching a dog train a human to trust him.
    Never the less George is gone, his bikes are gone, but in the garage remains all his motor cycle gear, 4 sets of leathers, boots and 5 helmets.
    We cannot let the last vestiges of him dissapear.
    We shall remember and hope he is riding a never ending road in the bright sunshine.
    Thanks for reading if you do, George was a testament to what is good in humanity.
    Barry
    Diagnosed stage 3 March 011
    Radical resection April 011
    Restaged 2b April 011.
    12/09 Colonoscopy clear but picked up hospital infection.
    Aorta & femoral arteries occluded.
    Clot buster drugs put me in ICU with internal bleeding. 9 blood units later they got it under control.
    Aortobifemoral surgery 5th May. yughh.
    PET scan indicates clear
    DEXA bone scan clear
    13/5 CT showed "unknown" but no concern from docs.
    Inguinal lymph nodes and severe groin pain.
    Ultrasound and MRI show no nasties. Pheww
    Groin pain and enlarged lymph nodes still there.
    October -still the same pains but under semi control.
    Additional chest CT scan ordered for 11th November prior to surgery.
    Sinus surgery done and dusted.
    July 2014 PSA at 5.10. 2months of antibiotics in case of UTI, jan 2015 PSA at 7.20.
    Prostate Cancer confirmed Gleason 3+3.
    Active surveillance for time being.
    Just a little recurrence and another 20 cm of colon vanished under the knife.

    Not all's rosy in the garden, but see following.
    Stop grumbling Baz, your still alive and kicking so far.
    Age and illness doesn't define who we are, but more what we are able to do.
    Motto
    Do what I love doing, when I can until I can't.
    and dodging bullets in the meanwhile.

  2. #2
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Sounds like he definitely was one of the good ones, Barry. And Jet sounds adorable. My heart goes out to Lynn and you and the family. These "anniversaries" are difficult. Just know George left his mark on the world and it was a good one. Thanks for sharing his story with us. ((((hugs))))

    Jodie
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same

  3. #3
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
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    new york
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    Barry, simply beautiful . George sounded like a person any one of us would have been honored to have known. He left a loving mark during his time with your family.

    Thank you for sharing .

    Lisa

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Top User Baz10's Avatar
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    May 2011
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    RYes he was a very soecial person.
    Very dry, witty and you knew if he liked you or not.
    There was no grey with George it was all right or wrong and he didn't take to kindly to wrong doers.
    He wasn't abusive just very straight and to the point.
    Not often do two nearly identical personalities get on, yet we did for over 40 years.
    The only time we had a spat was when it came to who paid for the beer or in his case lager.
    A funny but true story.
    A great friend of ours Siddhu Mukharjee a ortho surgeon married to another Anne, the girls Anne and Anne decided they wanted to go to Lambton Castle Hotel and country club to an antiques fair, George and Lynne joined us. We guys went for a beer or two, but the bars were 8 to 10 deep, this caused some debate as to how we were going to get to the bar.
    Siddhu winked and moved nearer the bar saying quite loudly (no offence meant at all) to me.
    You bloody white people you think you can push us Indians about.

    The crowd at the bar made way thinking a fight was about to break out.
    George and I slipped in and ordered a beer, Guinness and a whisky for Siddhu.
    Siddhu walked through the space he had made picked up his whisky and smiled.
    The crowd realised they had been had and everyone burst out laughing.
    Some remarked that's the first and last time you'll pull that trick.
    Not really as George and I used similar tactics on a few more occasions albeit at different pubs.
    Happy days
    Diagnosed stage 3 March 011
    Radical resection April 011
    Restaged 2b April 011.
    12/09 Colonoscopy clear but picked up hospital infection.
    Aorta & femoral arteries occluded.
    Clot buster drugs put me in ICU with internal bleeding. 9 blood units later they got it under control.
    Aortobifemoral surgery 5th May. yughh.
    PET scan indicates clear
    DEXA bone scan clear
    13/5 CT showed "unknown" but no concern from docs.
    Inguinal lymph nodes and severe groin pain.
    Ultrasound and MRI show no nasties. Pheww
    Groin pain and enlarged lymph nodes still there.
    October -still the same pains but under semi control.
    Additional chest CT scan ordered for 11th November prior to surgery.
    Sinus surgery done and dusted.
    July 2014 PSA at 5.10. 2months of antibiotics in case of UTI, jan 2015 PSA at 7.20.
    Prostate Cancer confirmed Gleason 3+3.
    Active surveillance for time being.
    Just a little recurrence and another 20 cm of colon vanished under the knife.

    Not all's rosy in the garden, but see following.
    Stop grumbling Baz, your still alive and kicking so far.
    Age and illness doesn't define who we are, but more what we are able to do.
    Motto
    Do what I love doing, when I can until I can't.
    and dodging bullets in the meanwhile.

 

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