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Thread: Breast Cancer stage 4

  1. #1
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    Breast Cancer stage 4

    My mum was diagnosed with a recurrence of hormone based breast cancer in April. It spread to her lung which is made more hard as she has Copd.This cancer is so hard to watch she's getting weaker everyday. Feels so swollen she can't walk, barely the strength to stand. Now in a wheelchair most of the time. I wonder how the cancer has made her this way. Why does cancer effect her in such a way that she can't even stand. She's not on chemotherapy as she's too weak what is making her so weak. The steroids ? She couldn't really get about even before the steroids. they have her on anti hormone treatment to try to slow things down. The bouts of pneumonia are getting more regular. It's as if her personality has Changed too she's so mean all the time to my dad, snappy all the time he's doing everything for her. Treats him like crap. And there's the drinking the endless drinking. Baileys at 11am wine all day is really getting too much. Falling asleep on and off all day not sleeping at night. Waking up ravenous wanting to eat all the time. The drinking cannot be good for the cancer. I wish she would move more. Or at least try to. Every small knock is like agony for her. With huge bruises from the slightest bump. She says she's not in pain where her tumour is but is basically screaming in pain constantly with the swollen feet and bruises. This can't be normal for a cancer patient? I wonder constantly How long will she have what will happen at the end. Sorry for the ramble need someone to talk to and understand. I love my mum so much is it normal to get annoyed with her at times.

  2. #2
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Hi Gemmamoran6,

    I have moved your thread to the Breast Cancer section so it may more likely seen by others affected by this particular type of cancer.

    I am sorry for your mom's diagnosis and what you and your family are going through.

    Honestly from what you are describing I would think it is the steroids and the drinking. But then again I am not a doctor. What steroid is she on and what dose? Still sometimes when facing this diagnosis and our own mortality people can change and not always in good ways. Obviously she is in lots of pain too. That can turn people mean. I am not try to excuse her behaviour. Just help explain where it may be coming from. It is hard to always be understanding if you are always a target. Especially your dad. The ones we love the most are often the targets.

    Has anyone talked to her doctors about this? About her behaviors and especially her drinking? Other than the anti hormone and steroids is she in any other kind of treatment? Sorry for the questions. Just helps us get a better understanding.

    My only advice is to make sure her treatment team knows what is going on and if you haven't involve hospice. No one can give you a time line. It varies too much as there are too many factors - sorry. But hospice van maybe help take some of the pressures off at home and give everyone well deserved breaks.

    I am sorry I did not have more precise answers for you.This is a tough road you are on. You are welcome to continue posting. This is a very supportive group.

    Jodie
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same

  3. #3
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    So so sorry to read your post. A few things you said reminded me of my mams battle. She also had Copd buy has lung cancer primarily. The tiredness was from not enough oxygen her organs were working extra hard because of this. She also had swelling and painful legs and this was caused by blood clots.
    Everyone is different though. Could you go to her next app with her and wrote down a list of questions? It's such a tough time for you and your family. Try get as much support from friends family and her medicall team. The main thing in my experience is to make sure her pain is under control and also my mams metal health was quite poor so the team helped her with by giving some counselling and Meds also.
    I couldn't say how long or how will it go I can only relay my mams story. She was diagnosed very late and did not have treatment. She chose quality of quantity and the chemo offered would have only given her an extra month or so according to the doctors. She was mostly pain free at the end and at her request went into a hospice. They kept her very very comfortable right up until the end. Sorry ment to say the oxygen really helped my mam and gave her some relief from shortness of breath.
    Has you Mam refused treatment altogether.
    Big hugs to you. Xx

  4. #4
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    HI Thank you for your kind words. I am not sure the exact type of steroids she is on, but they are strong. Along with sleeping tablets and the anti hormone treatment. She hasn't been offered anything else.
    She did have two rounds of Chemo and was far to ill to cope, due to her COPD so she's not having any other treatments. The most frustrating thing is we don't know if its working. She has a Macmillian nurse
    who I might try to speak to about her general health and drinking. I live 300 miles away from her which Isn't easy I see her as often as I can. It shocked me this weekend when she was staying with us just how bad she was.
    No-one has had the courage to talk to her doctors I feel she drinks to numb how she's feeling.

  5. #5
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Hi there,

    Was just wondering if you were able to speak to your Mom's nurse and how things were going?
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same

 

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