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Thread: Advice and help

  1. #1
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    Advice and help

    father was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in July 2016 and had chemo until Nov16 during chemo father had issues with his catheter( dad had to self catheter as his bladder wasn't working properly he had been doing this for 12 months before cancer diagnosis) it was blocking up . After investigation they also found a mass in bladder and removed it. When dad had a X-ray in Nov the lung cancer had aparently reduced in size .

    Over Christmas all seemed fine dad wasn't due back to see oncology till Feb . Well dad started to feel ill complaining of stomach pains got very weak , went docs and they sent him straight to hospital bp was low and dad was anemic . They put him on fluids straight away they suspected a bleed and arranged for a camera in stomach . Before they did this they gave him a litre of blood day perked right up .

    Camera showed no bleeds but imflamation of the stomach so they treated him for an infection and kept him in hospital. Over the next couple of days dad got worse and there was blood appearing in his urine questioned this with doctors still they said it was infection . The blood was getting worse so I told them to get someone from urology they came and next day dad had ct scans.

    Cancer had spread new mass in bladder more in lungs also bones and brain . We was deverstated . Only treatment offers was palliative care and the steroid Dexamethasone.

    Dad was also given oramorph for the pain

    We seen oncologist who told us dad was very sick but wouldn't give us a time frame
    Dad seemed ok just complaining of abdominal pain all the time the bleeding from his bladder was getting worse but docs didn't seem concerned and said it was more and likely from the mass in bladder

    Dad was in hospital for 3 weeks on a medical ward doctors said he was to well for a hospice so where looking for a care home dad hadn't opened his bowels his entire stay at hospital . On the wed dad was in good spirits on the Thursday dad had passed away still in hospital it was too us very sudden . On the medical cert it said cause of death advanced lung cancer brain Mets and anemia .

    I'm finding all this hard to get my head round all this I feel the hospital could of done more. The bleeding from the bladder was really bad but nothing was been done that amount of blood loss would cause anemia . Can't see why nothing was done .. Sorry for the long winded message .

  2. #2
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    First off - I am so very sorry for your loss. And please do not feel bad about the length of your post. You are hurting and trying to understand what happened and reaching out for help.

    When we lose someone, suddenly or not, it is very common to have questions like you have. Time frames cannot be given as it is so different from person to person - to many factors to weigh in. Now I am not a dr, none of us here are, but I am sure that all that could be done was done. However, your father's case was so advanced that even if they were able to control the bleeding it was still only a matter of time and likely a short time. Still if you have lingering doubts the only people who can really answer your questions are the doctors who were treating him.

    Losing someone and grieving their loss is a hard road to travel. The questions and doubts you are having are part of that process. I hope that you and your family can support each other through this. I encourage you to seek extra help such as counseling if you feel that you need to and do not feel bad about it. I hope that you can find peace and acceptance of your father's death knowing that does not mean it will lessen the pain. Only time does that and even then the pain does not always lessen but we can accept and cope better with it.

    Wishing you an your family peace and comfort,

    Jodie
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same

  3. #3
    Regular User
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    Mar 2016
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    So sorry for your loss. My mam was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and died 11 weeks later. We felt the same after she died and had lots of unanswered questions. I contacted my mams public health nurse about our questions 's and she basically said that my mam was so close to death that their main focus was to keep her comfortable and pain free. We had lots of blood in urine and in her pleural drain too. I think the doctors knew that the end was near and there was nothing they could do to stop this bleeding.
    I'm sorry this probably isn't helping.
    If you had point of contact in oncology I'd write down all your concern and send them on. It will make you feel better knowing that nothing else could be done.
    Take care of yourself xxx

 

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