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Thread: My Father Just Diagnosed With Stage 4

  1. #1
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    My Father Just Diagnosed With Stage 4

    Hello everyone I am new to the forums. I am trying to find ways to cope with this news. 3 days ago my father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. it has spread to his brain, kidney, bones and both lungs. As of yesterday the did a biopsy and it came back inconclusive. They will be doing another one tomorrow as well as starting radiation for the brain. I am completely devastated and my dad is only 59. I am trying to be strong but it is very hard for me because he is truly the only person i have in my corner and i don't know what i would do without him. but let me stop being sad and think positive.

  2. #2
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Hi there,

    I am sorry for this devastating news about your father. Do you mind if I ask, if the biopsy came back inconclusive, what are they basing their diagnosis on? A biopsy is the only way to confirm the presence of cancer. Well that or the presence of cancer cells in various fluids in the body.

    Still I understand the overwhelming feelings you are going through. When my husband was diagnosed I thought my world was coming to an end. Is it just you and your dad or are there other family members and/or friends around to help out and support him and even you?

    It is important to get a strong support network around him as he goes through treatment. More the merrier as teamwork is key. And for you support is also necessary if you are going to be a primary caregiver. It is a tough job. We do it out of love and we would do anything for them but it is physically and emotionally exhausting. This is why it is important you take care of yourself. If you don't honestly you will not be able to care for yourself let alone him. So if that means you need to talk to someone - family, friends, church, professional help (whatever works for you) - to get through this then please do so. And do it before you burn out. I compare it to a noise in your car - you take it to a mechanic when you first hear the noise right? not leave it till the car leaves you stranded on the road. Same thing about care giving. Better to ask for help when you start to feel burnt out when it is easier to get back on track and get better then when you are totally burnt out and to the point when you need as much help as your dad right?

    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you had to look us up. There a great group of people here that will offer their support to you on this journey. Look forward to hearing from you again.

    Jodie
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED

  3. #3
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    I don't really know too much about all the terms and stuff about cancer in general. My dad lives with his wife in another state. He's is actually 6 hours away from me. Im 25 and the oldest so I trying to be strong for my younger siblings and etc. His radiation has been pushed back till next week. I will be leaving NYC in a few days to be with him. Once I get to the hospital I will be talking to the doctors to understand more. Im trying to get him to come back home and get him into the Sloan Center in Manhattan. Is there anything that I should be asking the doctors specifically when I get there?

  4. #4
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
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    I am sorry to hear of your Dad's diagnosis and agree with Jodie regarding the biopsy. Without an accurate biopsy, it can make deciding on treatment options challenging as treatment differs greatly from one type of cancer to another.

    Regarding radiation, is your Dad experiencing any concerning issues such as mobility, memory, balance? If that is the case, it may be the reason why they are following through quickly in getting him set up for radiation therapy.

    I feel at this point, there are still a lot that may be unknown and seems there are many unanswered questions. I suggest trying to get a straight answer on the actual diagnosis and perhaps, a second opinion. I would also ask if his current attending medical team is working in conjunction with a nationally recognized cancer facility such as Sloan.

    This is not an answer journey and hoping with some more answers and some clarity with the situation at present, both you and your entire family will be able to work together for the benefit of your Dad. Open discussions are always encouraged upmost caregivers and loved ones.

    Keep strong and please do keep us updated. We will do our best without hesitation, to help guide you along the way.

    Lisa

  5. #5
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    so we finally got a diagnosis. they said that my dad has non small cell lung cancer. he will be starting radiation on monday for his brain for 5 days. My father has also opted for the chemo as well. I am not sure when that will be starting though. This is such a stressful feeling but we have to remain strong.

  6. #6
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Staying together - staying strong. May the treatments to their thing. All the best to your dad and your family.
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED

  7. #7
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    Update: My dad has finished his radiation treatments! Next battle is chemo. He is in high spirits and i try to keep him positive daily.

  8. #8
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    Great news! Teamwork all the way!
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    June 24 - tumor 1/3 the original size
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED

  9. #9
    That sounds good, if he is in good spirits this helps, all the best for him!
    Oct 15 diagnosed NSCLC stage IV , Mets in lymph nodes,
    Chemo 6 months, Tumour didn't grow but lymph nodes
    New Chemo 4 months, not working, new spot 4mm in Liver
    Aug 16, start Opdivo ,immune therapy
    CT Nov 16 , Tumor shrank, Lymph nodes shrank
    CT Jan 17, Tumor all the same, Lymph nodes on Neck and under arm back to normal, in Lung and Chest a bit smaller
    July 17, 2x3 cm Brain Tumor found, removed in Surgery, now radiation on spot,still on Nivu
    August 18, all still same, living life every day
    January 2019 < CT said NED!!!!
    Fingers crossed

  10. #10
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    tonight i noticed that my dad has bumps all over his chest area thats exposed when wearing a Vneck. should i be super concerned or is this just a common symptom after radiation. i just don't understand where they came from because he had radiation done on the brain and no chest area.
    Daughter to a rockstar dad with stage 4 lung cancer

 

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