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Thread: God has called him home

  1. #31
    Senior User
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    Nov 2016
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    Hi again Marian,

    Yes, the day our loved one is cremated is a tough one. As long as his body is still in the hospital - even though he is dead - gives us the impression that he is still there. The day my father was cremated (they told me exactly at what time he would be in the crematorium) I cried all day. It's another step in the grieving process. When I received his ashes, I put them on the rocking chair where he had sat in my living room and once in a while I rocked him. This is so tough we're aloud to loose it a bit. Then I got used to his being in an urn (sorta), although I never really reconciled with the idea of such a vital man reduced to ashes in a box.

    It's a process you know, and you're in the toughest part. With time it will get better. On you tube, there's a series of videos on grief by a Dr. Bill Webster, it has helped me a lot. Maybe it could help you also.

    I think of you often and I wish you as much peace as is possible in these circumstances.

    Marie

  2. #32
    Thank you, Marie. Today is my husband’s Memorial service. We are all hurting pretty badly but will go on. Waking up every morning without him is hard. How I wanted 50: years with him. I’m grateful for the 47 we got. I feel him all around me which doesn’t surprise me. He loved his family very much.
    And so, our lives really begin without the most wonderful man in our lives. (Tears) I won’t be on the forum now as it will hurt too much. But my heart will be with everyone here.
    His fight is over. How brave he was. 47 years of love.

  3. #33
    Moderator Top User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    1,060
    you will remain in our thoughts Marian

    take care
    John
    NHL DLBC aggressive stage 4B advanced
    diagnosed april 09
    after 8 rchop and a couple of delays, in remission
    some long term side effects to manage post treatment
    some blips and investigations on the journey but now
    22nd oct 2014 discharged no more hospital visits


    we are all on a roller coaster ride, riding blind never knowing where the highs and lows are.

  4. #34
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
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    3,538
    Marian,

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you move away from this forum, one that you found so supportive but yet filled with the incredible, difficult, sad journey you were on witb your dearest Al. As you venture forward our hope, in time you will feel happiness and be able to tuck those sad memories away and allow the happier times shine through.

    Lisa

  5. #35
    Senior User
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    Nov 2016
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    I was thinking of you yesterday Marian. I hope you were surrounded by loved ones to help you through this. I wish you the best of luck and I hope the future brings you acceptance and healing.

    Best wishes,

    Marie

  6. #36
    Senior User
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    Nov 2016
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    Our hearts and thoughts are also with you Marian.

    Patti

  7. #37
    Thank you, Jango and Marie. Als Memorial was so sweet. I was pretty leveled so our son planned it. He went to the raised podium and stood with his back to the attendees,surrounded by flowers, with his hand on his Dads urn. A slideshow of Als life played on a big flat screen TV while the song You raised me up by Josh Groban played. There were many tears. I went up and stood by David when I saw his tears. We stood with our arms around each other. It was very touching. David adored his Dad and vice versa. They seemed to be always together, laughing and talking, two peas in a pod. David went to his knees when his Dad died. I just felt numb.
    Al was Al, not a perfect person. Hed be the first to admit that. But who is? We remember him with such love.
    It seems to get more painful for me each day but God called him home only 18 days ago. For three years, my life revolved around Al and caring for him. Now I must find a way in life without him. There are so many legal things to do when I dont feel like doing them but I am. I admit to feeling very lonely. I have only heard from one friend since the Memorial. My son and DIL live here but they work long hours and have gone away for the weekend. They are hurting too.
    I miss him SO much. I had no idea how hard this would be. But I know hes happy,in the arms of Jesus and God, free from pain and I will see him again some day. I adored him. Right now, my son needs me. God will decide when I get to see my Al again.
    God bless you all....
    Last edited by Marian333; 01-20-2018 at 08:38 PM.
    His fight is over. How brave he was. 47 years of love.

  8. #38
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    130
    Marian, such hard things you have had to do in the midst of your grief. I don't think there is anything harder in life than to lose a loved one especially after an illness. I am so sorry that some of your friends have not stepped up to help you or at least be with you to give you some comfort.
    I found the same thing after my mom died. There is a saying that grief rewrites your address book and it is true. I did reach out for grief counselling and a grief group and I found that it helped. Do you have a church you belong to ? And you always have your online community here to listen.
    Als memorial sounds like it was very touching and I am glad you and your son have each other. My dad and I became very close after my mother died.
    God bless you too....

  9. #39
    I am receiving bereavement counseling through the Hospice. My son and I start tomorrow. I hope it helps. I am very grateful for their help. We getba year’s worth for free which is wonderful because any counseling is very expensive. I have good days and bad days.That’s to be expected. I really can’t express how much I miss him. Even though it was getting harder and harder to care for him, it had been my life,and his,for three years. I feel lost in a way like I should be caring for him still.
    I am trying to help my son who is so grief stricken he can’t get out of bed. I pray counseling helps him. He and Al were extremely close bothntelling me the other was their best friend. So, I know how hard this is for David.
    I have had a hard time figuring out finances. But God and Jesus stepped in and have helped me. It’s hard figuring all this when I’d just like to stay in bed too. But it has to be done.
    I am so grateful.
    His fight is over. How brave he was. 47 years of love.

  10. #40
    I just reread this post I started. Wow, how angry I was! I have softened to some degree. Bereavement counseling helps a bit. I can only go once every other week as they have so many to help.But I am grateful for the time I get. I also start support groups twice a month starting next Wednesday. I am hoping my son will go with me. Unfortunately, he has just lost his new job. It has set him back. I see what the hospice offers for free for a year as a golden opportunity. I pray my son sees it too. He needs help but has not been able to break through his grief yet. They can not afford professional help. He is resistant to sitting and talking to anyone one-on-one at this point. I know God and Jesus will help him.
    Although the last few days have been difficult for me with panic attacks and anxiety I have defeated it before and I will again.
    Although I still have heard from no one since the Memorial, I do realize I will make new friends and pray my physical pain will subside so I can do some sort of volunteering. I would love to do that.
    My anger toward the drs. and medical community has also softened. This truly is a journey. But how I miss my Al.
    His fight is over. How brave he was. 47 years of love.

 

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