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Thread: God has called him home

  1. #41
    Moderator Top User
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    524
    Thank you for checking in! I'm glad to learn that you are getting some support through hospice, and that you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As you say, life for you will go on, and you'll meet new friends and once again have some happy experiences.

    Both my Mom and Dad are gone for several years now. My thoughts of them are now always fond ones. If I'm working in my shop and start to use one of the tools I inherited from my Dad, it now makes me smile instead of weep - a huge improvement over the months following his passing. Same with thinking about my Mom, pulling out one of her recipes to cook, etc.

    You will get through this! And as for your son, you can only show him the opportunity to help himself, and offer your support. The decision to get better has to come from within, and there's nothing you can do about that - except to feel better yourself and provide a model of healing.
    DX - 5/2010 Grade 1, Stage 4 fNHL - w/spleen and 47% bone marrow involvement
    TX - 6/2010-12/2010: SWOG S0801- R-CHOP + Bexxar + Rituxan (4 yrs/quarterly)
    Restaged (post Bexxar) - PCR-Neg/NED :2/2011
    Rituxan maintenance ended 3/2015
    1/2018: Remission continues (>7 years) Down to one checkup/year!

  2. #42
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    152
    Quote Originally Posted by Marian333 View Post
    I just reread this post I started. Wow, how angry I was! I have softened to some degree. Bereavement counseling helps a bit. I can only go once every other week as they have so many to help.But I am grateful for the time I get. I also start support groups twice a month starting next Wednesday. I am hoping my son will go with me. Unfortunately, he has just lost his new job. It has set him back. I see what the hospice offers for free for a year as a golden opportunity. I pray my son sees it too. He needs help but has not been able to break through his grief yet. They can not afford professional help. He is resistant to sitting and talking to anyone one-on-one at this point. I know God and Jesus will help him.
    Although the last few days have been difficult for me with panic attacks and anxiety I have defeated it before and I will again.
    Although I still have heard from no one since the Memorial, I do realize I will make new friends and pray my physical pain will subside so I can do some sort of volunteering. I would love to do that.
    My anger toward the drs. and medical community has also softened. This truly is a journey. But how I miss my Al.

    Hi Marian,

    Sorry to reply so late. I am emerging from treatment and I am not as steady as usual. After reading your post, I was happy to see you were a little calmer. What you are going through is a tough ride but there are moments when the roaller coaster stops and you can catch your breath. I hope the path awaiting you brings many of these renewing "breathers".

    As far as people go, indeed, some you were counting on disappear and others - aquaintances and family - you never expected to show up, actually do. I am realizing that these tough times we are going through shake up our lives in every way. New relationships show up, new activities begin and a new life is being born.

    This month, it's been a year my father has passed and I can finally think of him without focusing solely on the last weeks of his life (which were awful). I have begun to think of him as the normal, healthy person that he was when he was younger. Also, as the pain subsides, I realize how difficult it was to care for him. In the last year of his life, he couldn't do much on his own anymore and I had to do everything for him. It was very demanding. And as much as I loved him - I had a terrific father and I adored him - I am beginning to savor the freedom of not having to care for someone anymore. And, indeed, a new life is bein created, because I have the time to make it happen.

    I know how much you loved Al. But you will reach a point of acceptance and peace, in your own time and in your own way. Wishing you the best,

    Marie

 

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