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Thread: Overwhelmed

  1. #1
    Experienced User
    Join Date
    Oct 2017


    Im 25 and the caregiver for my dad. he's stage 4 lung cancer and this weekend was the hardest weekend for me. i broke down and cried in another room in my apartment. This feeling sucks but I know I have to be there for him.

    No one has to reply to this. I just needed somewhere to put out my thoughts
    Daughter to a rockstar dad with stage 4 lung cancer

  2. #2
    I’m sorry to hear you are so upset. The cancer and caregiving road is a long emotional road. I have been there twice...during our son’s brain tumor which he has battled bravely with God’s help and my husband’s cancer which he battled bravely for three years but lost.
    I know it’s very very hard. I will never be the same person I was but I know my husband would want me to live my life. I miss him so much, take day by day and will soon start bereavement counseling with our son.
    I rest in the knowledge I will see him again someday, whole and happy, running to each other with open arms.
    Caregiving is extremely stressful but it is always given out of deep love. God bless......
    His fight is over. How brave he was. 47 years of love.

  3. #3
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Care giving is hard work. You got to do things to take care of yourself too or you will burn out. I speak from experience. Having little break downs is ok and healthy. However you also do not have to be a super hero 24/7 either. Ask the social worker at your dad's treatment center about any additional supports you might be able to get to try to take some of the load off. Seek counseling yourself if need be. You are doing an awesome job but it is exhausting and emotionally draining to see your dad endure so much.
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED - no evidence of disease
    Aug 2019 - 5 yrs NED and discharged from cancer clinic!!!!!

  4. #4
    Regular User
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    I agree, you definitely need to start supporting yourself emotionally and taking little moments to breathe.. although I know that's not always possible.

    The short time I spent taking care of mom was the most emotionally taxing experience of my life. It was scary and sad but, honestly, now that she's gone I wouldn't change a thing. I'm happy I had the opportunity to help her in her time of need and bond with her in a new way, despite it not being an ideal situation.

    Take care of yourself but also take some solace in knowing you will feel a sort of happiness from this time with him.
    Wake up
    Do good


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