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Thread: Is the "dying process" reversible?

  1. #11
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
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    I understand completely how much you want to help her but you can not force her. Please consider speaking with the person who has medical authority and just being there for this family member.

  2. #12
    Moderator Top User IndyLou's Avatar
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    plz-

    It's wonderful for you, as a 17 year-old teen, to be so concerned with your family member. Metastatic breast cancer is a tough disease and while she needs proper nutrition, her diet should come from the advice of medical personnel, as well as what her own body and mind want to consume. If the disease is very advanced--it's not wise or "healthy" for you to want to "fill her up," so to speak. It's quite possible that metastatic tumors may be pushing against her digestive tract or esophagus, making what seems simple to some, very challenging to her. It may even be painful for her to eat, in which case she will be inclined to avoid eating altogether.

    The same is true for exercising. Let her doctor provide guidance, and when and if she's up to exercise, perhaps you can assist her. She must go at her own pace, however. And remember, exercise requires energy, and energy comes from caloric intake. Don't make the mistake of thinking "If she can't eat, at least she can get healthy by exercising."

    I wish you and your family member well. Are there other adults close to her or the situation? Do you have a parent or an adult sibling who're involved with this family member's care? You should discuss the situation with them, but above all, rely on medical advice from professionals.
    Age 54 Male
    early Feb, 2013 - Noticed almond-sized lump in shaving area, right side of neck. No other "classic" cancer symptoms
    late Feb, 2013 - Visited PCP for check-up, PCP advised as lymphoma. Did blood work, orders for CT-scan, referred to ENT
    3/7/13 - CT-scan inconclusive, endoscopy negative
    3/9/13 - FNA of neck mass
    3/14/13 - Received dx of squamous-cell carcinoma, unknown primary
    3/25/13 - CT-PET scan reveals no other active tumors
    3/26/13 - work/up for IMRT
    4/1/13 - W1, D1 of weekly cetuximab
    4/8/13 - W1, D1 of IMRT
    5/20/13 - complete 8 week regimen of weekly cetuximab
    5/24/13 - Complete 35-day regimen of daily IMRT
    mid-July 2013 - CT-PET scan reveals no active tumors, but shows necrotic tissue at site of original tumor
    early Sept 2013 - partial neck dissection to remove necrotic tissue. Assay shows no cancer present.
    Spring 2014 - No signs of cancer
    Spring 2015 - NED
    Spring 2016 - NED
    Spring 2017 - NED
    Spring 2018 - NED
    Spring 2019 - NED

  3. #13
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
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    I think someone, whoever is in charge/next of kin/spouse, needs to call her dr and get directions. What were the directions on feeding from the dr? When is her follow up? Were there any directions of when to call the dr right away?
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED - no evidence of disease
    Aug 2019 - 5 yrs NED and discharged from cancer clinic!!!!!

  4. #14
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    Why can't my mom focus?

    Hi, I know I made a couple posts before but this is more of a science question. How come my mom is so dazed right now? Obviously she's tired, but is she just in a more tired state right now where she is half awake? Or is her brain shutting down?
    Coming back from her surgery she's barely been able to say my name and can't even say a whole sentence.

    She's had breast cancer for a long time, starting to have liver problems and is 48 years old

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jorola View Post
    I think someone, whoever is in charge/next of kin/spouse, needs to call her dr and get directions. What were the directions on feeding from the dr? When is her follow up? Were there any directions of when to call the dr right away?
    I'm honestly not so sure, I'm the son of the patient and my dad handled everything else

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyLou View Post
    plz-

    It's wonderful for you, as a 17 year-old teen, to be so concerned with your family member. Metastatic breast cancer is a tough disease and while she needs proper nutrition, her diet should come from the advice of medical personnel, as well as what her own body and mind want to consume. If the disease is very advanced--it's not wise or "healthy" for you to want to "fill her up," so to speak. It's quite possible that metastatic tumors may be pushing against her digestive tract or esophagus, making what seems simple to some, very challenging to her. It may even be painful for her to eat, in which case she will be inclined to avoid eating altogether.

    The same is true for exercising. Let her doctor provide guidance, and when and if she's up to exercise, perhaps you can assist her. She must go at her own pace, however. And remember, exercise requires energy, and energy comes from caloric intake. Don't make the mistake of thinking "If she can't eat, at least she can get healthy by exercising."

    I wish you and your family member well. Are there other adults close to her or the situation? Do you have a parent or an adult sibling who're involved with this family member's care? You should discuss the situation with them, but above all, rely on medical advice from professionals.
    My mom is the patient, and my dad is the one who is the primary caretaker. It's just me, my mom, my dad, and my brother living in Canada right now. I don't even know if we have a dietician or anything like that because my parents didn't like to tell me much info, and it's even worse because my dad doesn't speak very good English..

  7. #17
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
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    I have merged the third thread you started with your other as keeping one thread, with all your questions together, gives our members a more accurate picture of what may be the issues.

    Your Mom has been through surgery and being unable to focus and sleeping a lot can be the result of many things. I strongly urge you to speak with your Dad. It is understandable you want to know all the details but it is up to your folks whether they want to share them with you.

    Your only 17 and as a parent myself i tend to think they are protecting you which is what parents do.

    It is almost impossible for us to say with any certainty what is going on. Please do talk with your Dad.

    Be there for your Mom, help around the house. These are the things you can do. Leave the medical questions up to your Dad.

    Explain to your Dad how worried and scared you are.

    Lisa

  8. #18
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    Exclamation Is the "dying process" reversible?

    My mother is starting to show some symptoms of it, but we can't give up now. I think my dad still has doctor appointments set up and stuff like that so we haven't given up.
    But is stuff like being half conscious all the time, not being able to finish sentences, that stuff reversible? Can you come back from that????

  9. #19
    Moderator Top User IndyLou's Avatar
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    plz-

    I'm sorry to hear that this is about your mom. I don't know if you have enough information or not, but it might help some of the members that have experience with this disease to answer your questions.

    Do you know your mom's specific diagnosis or stage of cancer?
    • Where exactly has the cancer metastasized in her body?
    • How long has she had the cancer?
    • What kind of treatment has she received? Chemo? Radiation? Surgery? Targeted medicines?
    • Is she still receiving treatments?


    You mentioned death and dying in your last post. Has a doctor declared her disease to be terminal? This may not have been something you heard directly, though perhaps your father thinks it would not be a good idea to share with you. You seem old enough to grasp the implications, but that will be between you and your father. Your best options might be to help out around the house, and spend time with your mom, even though she may not be fully aware of your presence.
    Age 54 Male
    early Feb, 2013 - Noticed almond-sized lump in shaving area, right side of neck. No other "classic" cancer symptoms
    late Feb, 2013 - Visited PCP for check-up, PCP advised as lymphoma. Did blood work, orders for CT-scan, referred to ENT
    3/7/13 - CT-scan inconclusive, endoscopy negative
    3/9/13 - FNA of neck mass
    3/14/13 - Received dx of squamous-cell carcinoma, unknown primary
    3/25/13 - CT-PET scan reveals no other active tumors
    3/26/13 - work/up for IMRT
    4/1/13 - W1, D1 of weekly cetuximab
    4/8/13 - W1, D1 of IMRT
    5/20/13 - complete 8 week regimen of weekly cetuximab
    5/24/13 - Complete 35-day regimen of daily IMRT
    mid-July 2013 - CT-PET scan reveals no active tumors, but shows necrotic tissue at site of original tumor
    early Sept 2013 - partial neck dissection to remove necrotic tissue. Assay shows no cancer present.
    Spring 2014 - No signs of cancer
    Spring 2015 - NED
    Spring 2016 - NED
    Spring 2017 - NED
    Spring 2018 - NED
    Spring 2019 - NED

  10. #20
    Super Moderator Top User
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    Quote Originally Posted by plzhelp123 View Post
    My mom is the patient, and my dad is the one who is the primary caretaker. It's just me, my mom, my dad, and my brother living in Canada right now. I don't even know if we have a dietician or anything like that because my parents didn't like to tell me much info, and it's even worse because my dad doesn't speak very good English..
    Here in the US, the only family members with authority to speak to the doctor are those whose names the patient specifically gave to the doctor. I would assume the system is similar in Canada. But the fact that your dad doesn't speak much English changes matters. I think it's possible that in this situation putting in a call to the doctor to clarify what your mother is allowed to eat is probably a good idea. It would be best if you could do it with your dad's agreement.

    It's unfortunate that they're not talking to you about what's going on. They probably want to protect you and also don't know how to talk to you about it.

 

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