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Thread: My grandmother has lung cancer

  1. #11
    Newbie New User
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    Thank you. It has been very tough. We unfortunately keep blaming ourselves for putting her through the surgery at her age. But we rather her leave us this way than get eaten up by cancer. She never wanted to suffer. And she never wanted to lose her quality of life. And I think she left us on her own terms. So I can take a little bit of solace in that.

    I also cannot help but be thankful to have had her for so long in my life (Iím 30 years old). She gave me a lot of inspiration in my life and love in my heart that I need to live on in her honor. I know thatís what she would expect of me.

  2. #12
    Moderator Senior User IndyLou's Avatar
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    I also cannot help but be thankful to have had her for so long in my life (I’m 30 years old).
    Sadly, I lost both of my grandmothers at ages 8 and 12. They were both under age 63 at their deaths, and I remember very little of them. Both grandmothers died after my grandfathers, so I have even less memory of them. Fortunately, my wife's grandparents were alive well into their 80's, and I looked to them as my grandparents as well.

    You're looking at this in the correct way, I think--living with her memory, and using it for inspiration. This is how we keep the memory of our parents and grandparents alive. If it strikes you, consider starting a journal about all the things you remember of her--her physical characteristics, photos if you have, and any stories that come to you. When and if you marry and have children, be sure to read to them, or share your journal.

    Your welcome here on this forum does not end with the passing of a loved one. If you find yourself needing to vent, or trying to understand or sort through feelings, please continue to post new questions or thoughts.
    Age 52 Male
    early Feb, 2013 - Noticed almond-sized lump in shaving area, right side of neck. No other "classic" cancer symptoms
    late Feb, 2013 - Visited PCP for check-up, PCP advised as lymphoma. Did blood work, orders for CT-scan, referred to ENT
    3/7/13 - CT-scan inconclusive, endoscopy negative
    3/9/13 - FNA of neck mass
    3/14/13 - Received dx of squamous-cell carcinoma, unknown primary
    3/25/13 - CT-PET scan reveals no other active tumors
    3/26/13 - work/up for IMRT
    4/1/13 - W1, D1 of weekly cetuximab
    4/8/13 - W1, D1 of IMRT
    5/20/13 - complete 8 week regimen of weekly cetuximab
    5/24/13 - Complete 35-day regimen of daily IMRT
    mid-July 2013 - CT-PET scan reveals no active tumors, but shows necrotic tissue at site of original tumor
    early Sept 2013 - partial neck dissection to remove necrotic tissue. Assay shows no cancer present.
    Spring 2014 - No signs of cancer
    Spring 2015 - NED
    Spring 2016 - NED
    Spring 2017 - NED
    Spring 2018 - NED

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyLou View Post
    Sadly, I lost both of my grandmothers at ages 8 and 12. They were both under age 63 at their deaths, and I remember very little of them. Both grandmothers died after my grandfathers, so I have even less memory of them. Fortunately, my wife's grandparents were alive well into their 80's, and I looked to them as my grandparents as well.

    You're looking at this in the correct way, I think--living with her memory, and using it for inspiration. This is how we keep the memory of our parents and grandparents alive. If it strikes you, consider starting a journal about all the things you remember of her--her physical characteristics, photos if you have, and any stories that come to you. When and if you marry and have children, be sure to read to them, or share your journal.

    Your welcome here on this forum does not end with the passing of a loved one. If you find yourself needing to vent, or trying to understand or sort through feelings, please continue to post new questions or thoughts.
    Much thanks. It is really appreciated. I feel like I need an outlet to talk about this. I still feel responsible in which we let her get the surgery. I canít help but blame myself for it. For making her worse.

  4. #14
    Experienced User
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    Jun 2017
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    96
    I am so sorry about your grandmother's passing and can only imagine how hard this is on you and your family. Maybe your grandmother's body just got tired. You stood by your grandmother and that is what counts. With cancer, we just try to do the best whether we are patient or caregiver. So, please don't blame yourself for anything.
    Linda

  5. #15
    Moderator Senior User IndyLou's Avatar
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    397
    Much thanks. It is really appreciated. I feel like I need an outlet to talk about this. I still feel responsible in which we let her get the surgery. I can’t help but blame myself for it. For making her worse.
    Joe-

    You don't know that the surgery for her cancer resulted in her death from heart attack. You all advocated for her to be treated for possible lung cancer. Medicine isn't always an exact science. Did it ever cross your mind that when the doctors discussed a lung biopsy, "if it's NOT lung cancer, all this work could be for nothing--and she'll still have to recover from surgery."

    More than likely, it did not. You did the biopsy because if it WAS cancer, you needed to treat it. If you chose not to do the biopsy and it WAS cancer, your grandmother may have suffered much more than she did. Left untreated, lung cancer can quickly metastasize to other organs, including the brain. Not to mention, late-stage lung cancer is not a pretty sight, watching the patient struggle to breath.

    People get old, and they eventually die. Some do it sooner, some do it later. Your grandmother lived to age 85, and that's a pretty decent lifespan. You treated her with respect and decency, and you advocated for her. She would be happy to know that she had such a thoughtful, caring grandson.
    Age 52 Male
    early Feb, 2013 - Noticed almond-sized lump in shaving area, right side of neck. No other "classic" cancer symptoms
    late Feb, 2013 - Visited PCP for check-up, PCP advised as lymphoma. Did blood work, orders for CT-scan, referred to ENT
    3/7/13 - CT-scan inconclusive, endoscopy negative
    3/9/13 - FNA of neck mass
    3/14/13 - Received dx of squamous-cell carcinoma, unknown primary
    3/25/13 - CT-PET scan reveals no other active tumors
    3/26/13 - work/up for IMRT
    4/1/13 - W1, D1 of weekly cetuximab
    4/8/13 - W1, D1 of IMRT
    5/20/13 - complete 8 week regimen of weekly cetuximab
    5/24/13 - Complete 35-day regimen of daily IMRT
    mid-July 2013 - CT-PET scan reveals no active tumors, but shows necrotic tissue at site of original tumor
    early Sept 2013 - partial neck dissection to remove necrotic tissue. Assay shows no cancer present.
    Spring 2014 - No signs of cancer
    Spring 2015 - NED
    Spring 2016 - NED
    Spring 2017 - NED
    Spring 2018 - NED

  6. #16
    Newbie New User
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    Posts
    8
    [QUOTE=IndyLou;368995

    More than likely, it did not. You did the biopsy because if it WAS cancer, you needed to treat it. If you chose not to do the biopsy and it WAS cancer, your grandmother may have suffered much more than she did. Left untreated, lung cancer can quickly metastasize to other organs, including the brain. Not to mention, late-stage lung cancer is not a pretty sight, watching the patient struggle to breath.

    People get old, and they eventually die. Some do it sooner, some do it later. Your grandmother lived to age 85, and that's a pretty decent lifespan. You treated her with respect and decency, and you advocated for her. She would be happy to know that she had such a thoughtful, caring grandson.[/QUOTE]

    Youíre correct with that. She had the adenocarcinima and we were lucky to get it out of her. We would have hated to see her suffer if the cancer got advanced. And we would have been at square one saying that we should have given her surgery. I feel that age 85 was a full life for her. And that she left quickly. I know sheís proud and I will continue to make her proud.

 

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