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Thread: Parents and religion

  1. #1

    Parents and religion

    My parents are both christain. My dad is Methodist, my mom is Greek Orthodox. I grew up, primarily attending my mom's church. My mom is pretty heavy into it, attending Bible studies and the like. My parents are both in their mid 60s at this point.

    I'm 24. I left Christanity around age 18/19 and my primary deity is Kali. I'm polytheistic and 2 of my deities are from the Hindu pantheon. I've been in the broom closet.

    I got diagnosed with cancer about a month ago and just started chemo. I'm in the process of getting my living will made up and advanced directive (what to do in case medically I can't make my own decisions) and I'm about to tell my parents who my medical proxy will be in case I'm in a position where I can't make my own decisions.

    With that in mind, I'm tempted to tell my parents I just converted to Hinduism and not paganism, just to make it easier on everyone since Pagan is such an open ended religion. Hinduism is very varied as well, but I feel like there's more structure to Hinduism.

    It's a big deal and I know my parents might not take it well, but I don't like them thinking I'm still christain, especially during this medical crisis. I'm just not too sure if I should tell them and if I do, should I just say hinduism instead ?
    Lymphoma fighter, 25, ISTJ, LGBTQIA, Pagan
    My journey so far:
    September 2018 - dx with lymphoma
    October 2018 - 2 lung biopsies, pending information in regards to lymphoma stage, lymphoma type and treatment plan
    Halloween/Nov 1 2018 - dx with stage 2 lymphoma unfavorable, got 1st round of chemo on Nov 1, feeling nauseaous and tired but overall ok, taking supplements to reduce risk of losing hair
    April 4 2019 - Final Chemo!
    May 20 2019 - first radiation treatment!
    June 3 2019 - final radiation treatment!

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
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    This is a tough, touchy situation. Do whatever love demands and your relationship with them should be fine.
    05/08-07/08 Tumor appears behind left ear. Followed by serial medical incompetence on the parts of PCP, veteran oncologist and pathologist (misdiagnosis via non-diagnosis). Providential guidance to proper care at an NCI designated comprehensive cancer center.
    07/08 Age 56 DX 1) Peripheral T-Cell Lymphoma-Not Otherwise Specified. Stage IV-B, >50 ("innumerable") tumors, bone marrow involvement.
    08/08-12/08 Four cycles CHOEP14 + four cycles GND (Cyclofosfamide, Doxorubicin, Vincristine, Etoposide, Prednisone & Gemcitabine, Navelbine, Doxil)
    02/09 2) Relapse.
    03/09-06/13 Clinical trial of Romidepsin > long-term study. NED for 64 twenty-eight day cycles, dose tapered.
    07/13 3) Relapse, 4) Suspected Mutation.
    08/13-02/14 Romidepsin increased, stopped for lack of response. Watch & Wait.
    09/14 Relapse/Progression. Visible cervical nodes appear within 4 days of being checked clear.
    10/06/14 One cycle Belinostat. Discontinued to enter second clinical trial.
    10/25/14 Clinical trial of Alisertib/Failed - Progression.
    01/12/15 Belinostat resumed/Failed - Progression. 02/23/15
    02/24/15 Pralatrexate/Failed - Progression. 04/17/15
    04/15 Genomic profiling reveals mutation into PTCL-NOS + AngioImmunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. Stage IV-B a second time. Two dozen tumors + small intestine (Ileum) involvement.
    04/22/15 TEC (Bendamustine, Etoposide, Carboplatin). Full response in two cycles. PET/CT both clear. Third cycle followed.
    06/15-07/15 Transplant preparation (X-rays, spinal taps, BMB, blood test, MUGA scan, lung function, CMV screening, C-Diff testing etc. etc. etc.) Intrathecal Methotrexate during spinal tap.
    BMB reveals 5) 26% blast cells of 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome MDS), a bone marrow cancer and precursor to Acute Myeloid Leukemia.
    07/11-12/15 Cyclofosfamide + Fludarabine conditioning regimen.
    07/16/15 Total Body Irradiation.
    07/17/15 Moderate intensity Haploidentical Allogeneic Stem Cell Transplant receiving my son's peripheral blood stem cells.
    07/21-22/15 Triple dose Cyclofosfamide + Mesna, followed by immunosuppressants Tacrolimus and Mycophenolate Mofetil.
    07/23-08/03/15 Marrow producing zero blood cells. Fever. Hospitalized two weeks.
    08/04/15 Engraftment occurs, and blood cells are measurable - released from hospital.
    08/13/15 Day 26 - Marrow is 100% donor cells. Platelets climbing steadily, red cells follow.
    09/21/15 Acute skin Graft versus Host Disease arrives.
    DEXA scan reveals Osteoporosis.
    09/26/-11/03/15 Prednisone to control skin GvHD.
    11/2015 Acute GvHD re-classified to Chronic Graft versus Host Disease.
    05/2016 Tacrolimus stopped. Prednisone from 30-90mg daily tried. Sirolimus begun. Narrow-band UV-B therapy started, but discontinued for lack of response. One treatment of P-UVAreceived, but halted due to medication reaction.
    09/16/16 Three skin punch biopsies.
    11/04/16 GvHD clinical trial of Ofatumumab (Arzerra) + Prednisone + Methylprednisolone begun.
    12/16 Type II Diabetes, Hypertension - both treatment-related.
    05/17 Extracorporeal Photopheresis (ECP) begun in attempt to control chronic Graft-versus-Host-Disease (cGvHD. 8 year old Power Port removed and replaced with Vortex (Smart) Port for ECP.
    05/2017 Chronic anemia (low hematocrit). Chronic kidney disease. Cataracts from radiation and steroids.
    06/17 Trying various antibiotics in a search for tolerable prophylaxis.
    08/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals the presence of 2% cells with 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome, considered to be Minimum Residual Disease.
    12/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals no abnormalities in the marrow - MDS eradicated. The steroid taper continues.
    01/18 Consented for Kadmon clinical trial.
    03/18 Began 400mg daily of KD025, a rho-Associated Coiled-coil Kinase 2 Inhibitor (ROCK2).
    09/18 Due to refractory GvHD, Extracorporeal Photopheresis halted after 15 months ue to lack of additional benefit.
    10/18 I was withdrawn from the Kadmon KD025 clinical trial due to increasing fatigue/lack of benefit.
    11/18 Began therapy with Ruxolitinib (Jakafi), a JAK 1&2 inhibitor class drug. Started at half-dose due to concerns with drug interactions.

    To date: 1 cancer, relapse, second relapse/mutation into 2 cancers, then 3 cancers simultaneously, 20 chemotherapy/GVHD drugs in 11 regimens (4 of them at least twice), 5 salvage regimens, 4 clinical trials, 5 post-transplant immuno-suppressant/modulatory drugs, the equivalent of 1,000 years of background radiation from 40+ CT series scans and about 24 PET scans.
    Both lymphoid and myeloid malignancies lend a certain symmetry to the hematological journey.

    Believing in the redemptive value of suffering makes all the difference.

  3. #3
    Well I video chatted with my parents tonight. I told them that I was interested in reading about Hinduism. My Mom was like "Well, we don't need you converting" (nervous laugh). So I don't think they'd take well to the idea of me saying "Yeah, I left Christanity."
    Lymphoma fighter, 25, ISTJ, LGBTQIA, Pagan
    My journey so far:
    September 2018 - dx with lymphoma
    October 2018 - 2 lung biopsies, pending information in regards to lymphoma stage, lymphoma type and treatment plan
    Halloween/Nov 1 2018 - dx with stage 2 lymphoma unfavorable, got 1st round of chemo on Nov 1, feeling nauseaous and tired but overall ok, taking supplements to reduce risk of losing hair
    April 4 2019 - Final Chemo!
    May 20 2019 - first radiation treatment!
    June 3 2019 - final radiation treatment!

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
    Posts
    10,403
    You sound like a spiritual seeker: one who is on a journey. This applies, or has applied, to very many of us. Your parents love you and have their own solid beliefs. Therefore, they worry. If there is a downside to love, that would be it. My personal advice to you would be: whatever you choose to believe, put it to the test during this cancer episode and throughout your life. You are seeking the truth in a world filled with lies and false promises. That is excellent and goes to your credit. Bear with your parents (keeping in mind that they are also bearing with you) and simply love them in simplicity.

 

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