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Thread: The Love Of My Life Passed Away on October 24th 2018. Life Will Never Be the Same.

  1. #1

    The Love Of My Life Passed Away on October 24th 2018. Life Will Never Be the Same.

    My beautiful David passed away on October 24th 2018 after battling Epithelioid Angiosarcoma. Life will never be the same again. RIP My Love. I love and miss you soooo much.

    Here is a Poem I wrote to him after his passing.

    Iím Just So Lost Without You
    The disease came upon you, my love, like a lion attacking in the night.
    While we continued to search for the answers, you put up one hell of a fight.
    With tears in my eyes and all my love, I sat and held your loving hand.
    While I prayed to God that this disease wouldnít be more than your body could withstand.

    For 2 long months, we hoped and prayed that some treatment would arrive in time.
    Then we heard those haunting words that day, words that still echo in my mind.
    There is no treatment options available, itís already spread, and the prognoses is poor.
    I thought, ďThat canít be right, he must be wrong, heís saying you wonít be here anymore.Ē

    I thought, ďOh my God, No, not my precious Dave, not my husband, my soulmate, and best friend.Ē
    Weíve already made plans for our future together, so this just canít be the end.
    I got down on my knees and prayed and prayed for a miracle from God above.
    Asked him to take me instead, and begged him to not take my true love.

    While you bravely told the doctor that you werenít afraid, I, myself, became completely numb.
    I wanted to hold you and love you for as long as I could, and tell you what a huge part of my life you had become.
    I knew this wasnít going to be easy on you as we had seen the damage the aggressive disease had already done along the way.
    Although, I tried my best not to let you see me cry, yet there was so much I still needed to say.

    As the clock ticked on, and time was running low, my love would ensure your final days were comfortable and pain free.
    That was the last thing I had to give to you, to again prove my love for you from me.
    Most days that clock it ticked so loudly, it sounded just like the loud slamming of the door.
    Every day I already knew how very much I loved you, yet each day I loved you even more.

    Those haunting words, watching you rapidly decline, we both tried our best to remain strong.
    But plenty of tears still flowed between us knowing where we both felt you belonged.
    With each passing day you became so frail, and your health continued to get worse.
    I felt so helpless trying to stop all this, while pleading to God to put this in reverse.

    I prayed for a Miracle day after day, trying everything I could to keep you here with me.
    They say God only takes the best of them home, on this I tend to agree.
    October 24th 2018, is a date Iíll never forget, as it was the single worse day of my life.
    I held you tight in my arms, told you that itís ok to let go, and how much Iíve loved being your wife.
    I told you Iíd do it all a million times over, as the tears rolled down my face.
    Then you closed your beautiful brown eyes one last time, and headed to a different place.

    It was like a rug had been pulled out from under my feet, the pain being just too much to bare.
    I was immediately so lost the moment you left, after having prayed youíd always be there.
    Now as the lonely days, without you by my side, slowly drag on, and as each day turns into night.
    I still pray to wake up from this horrible nightmare, and have everything again be alright.

    I want to put my arms around you again, and to be able to hold you, and kiss you tenderly.
    I want to see your smile, hear your voice again, and have things back the way they used to be.
    The day you died you took a huge piece of me, and my heartís broken in two.
    I think to myself, ďWhat kind of life can this be if Iím not able to spend it all with You?Ē

    David, I love you more than words can say, and miss you so much with each breath I breathe.
    Iíve lost the best thing that ever happened to me which is something I still canít believe.
    I knew you were tired, my love, and needed to rest the day the Lord took you high above.
    When you went to Heaven you didnít go alone, you went there with all of my love.

    I Love You David, always have, always will, and more than mere words could have ever expressed.
    Having you and your love for 14 years in my life, for that I was truly Blessed.
    Your suffering has ended, you are in pain no more, my love, youíll be in Godís hands till I arrive.
    Most likely out fishing with family and friends, but I pray that you were still alive.

    You have always been, are now, and will always be, my life, my love, and my best friend.
    I know we will be together again someday, and this is Not where our love story ends.

    So Iíll count the days till I see your face again, and can hold you in my arms in Heaven above.
    While Iím waiting for that day to arrive, Iíll forever be sending you my love.
    Iíll look up in the sky, knowing youíre there smiling down on me while you are loving me too.
    I just wanted you to know how much youíre loved and missed, and that Iím just so lost without you.
    For My Precious David Because I Love and Miss You So Very, Very, Much. RIP My Love.
    I Love You With All My HeartÖ Love Always Brenda
    10/24/18 10:30 AM The love of my life passed away Today, and Life will never be the same again. RIP MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER,, and MISS YOU SOOO MUCH ALREADY.

    10/16/18 Hubby was Diagnosed with Epitheloid Angiosarcoma High Grade, and was doing so badly that Hospice referral was made. .

    2016 My Husband DX with Stage 1 NSCLC not documented. They used Stereotactic Body Therapy (SBRT) radiation x 5 treatments. 8/24/18 Now has suspected lung Ca metastasis with Large 4+cm masses noted on each adrenal gland and 1 enlarge lymph node in the lower right lobe of his lung where the original tumor is located, plus scattered glass appearance in that area as well, and 1 enlarged lymph node under his left armpit area.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
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    A beautiful tribute, evidence of a profound mutual love, and the seed of the healing process. As with all planted seeds, it will take time and nurturing to germinate and grow.

  3. #3
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    Oh Brenda i cried and cried reading that. Such beautiful but sad words. Life can be so unfair and it was not fair that he was taken from you so soon. You were so strong for him and you should be very proud of yourself.
    Indeed, being there and caring for our loved ones at the end is the last and most precious gift we can give. You will hopefully.find comfort in this in time as i have.
    Sending you my deepest sympathies
    Linda xxx

  4. #4
    TY po18guy.

    Thank you Linda33. I cried writing it, and I also read it at his Memorial on Saturday-(which I had not planned on doing because I cry so much when I'm reading it), but when the preacher ask if anyone had anything to say, something just said, "Get Up and read the poem you wrote for him, " so I did. I had to stop several times in order to get my myself back under control enough to be able to continue reading it.
    10/24/18 10:30 AM The love of my life passed away Today, and Life will never be the same again. RIP MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER,, and MISS YOU SOOO MUCH ALREADY.

    10/16/18 Hubby was Diagnosed with Epitheloid Angiosarcoma High Grade, and was doing so badly that Hospice referral was made. .

    2016 My Husband DX with Stage 1 NSCLC not documented. They used Stereotactic Body Therapy (SBRT) radiation x 5 treatments. 8/24/18 Now has suspected lung Ca metastasis with Large 4+cm masses noted on each adrenal gland and 1 enlarge lymph node in the lower right lobe of his lung where the original tumor is located, plus scattered glass appearance in that area as well, and 1 enlarged lymph node under his left armpit area.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
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    It may be difficult to envision it this way, but the love you had still exists. The body dies but the spirit does not. It is the spirit which loves, not the body. You are separated for a short time, but most certainly you have a sure hope of once again realizing that love, that togetherness, which you shared for so long.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by po18guy View Post
    It may be difficult to envision it this way, but the love you had still exists. The body dies but the spirit does not. It is the spirit which loves, not the body. You are separated for a short time, but most certainly you have a sure hope of once again realizing that love, that togetherness, which you shared for so long.
    I so agree po18guy. That knowing that this is Not the end, and that we will be together again is about the main thing that is keeping me moving slowly forward at the moment.


    Our home is, to put it no other way is a very "Active" home, and we get a lot of activity here. Dave had actually never experienced any type of Spirit activity until he lived here, and it became a common occurrence for him to see and hear things, as well as myself. This is my childhood home, so I've lived her the majority of my life, and returned here after my parents passed away. I've experienced many, many, things here (as well as the other homes I've lived in), for as long as I can remember. (What all I've experienced are stories for another day, but I do actually have a picture of my mom that was taken 5 years after she passed away, and that night was the most Amazing, yet frightening experience of my life).

    I have also received a couple of signs for Dave since he passed away, but have yet to see him.

    Also we let a friend of ours move in with us in our upstairs for awhile, and we decided not to tell him about the activity in the house beforehand. He was here less than a week, and came downstairs saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't sleep up there." When we asked him why he said, "You're going to think I'm crazy, but there's just too much traffic up there, and they are keeping me awake, and freaking me out." This was just couple of weeks prior to that friend's mom passing away, and I suspect the "traffic" he was experiencing was actually his family who had passed coming to comfort him prior to his mom's passing, as Dave and I neither one experienced what he was experiencing. I also saw a sparrow at the upstairs window prior to his mom passing (which is something I've always seen less than 2 weeks prior to anybody's passing), so I knew the sparrow being at the UPSTAIRS window where he was living was a message of someone in his family getting ready to pass away, and was not for Dave and I.

    So yes, My Dave and I WILL be together again, there is no doubt in my mind, and I'm counting the days.
    Last edited by Crackerjack; 11-13-2018 at 12:51 AM.
    10/24/18 10:30 AM The love of my life passed away Today, and Life will never be the same again. RIP MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER,, and MISS YOU SOOO MUCH ALREADY.

    10/16/18 Hubby was Diagnosed with Epitheloid Angiosarcoma High Grade, and was doing so badly that Hospice referral was made. .

    2016 My Husband DX with Stage 1 NSCLC not documented. They used Stereotactic Body Therapy (SBRT) radiation x 5 treatments. 8/24/18 Now has suspected lung Ca metastasis with Large 4+cm masses noted on each adrenal gland and 1 enlarge lymph node in the lower right lobe of his lung where the original tumor is located, plus scattered glass appearance in that area as well, and 1 enlarged lymph node under his left armpit area.

 

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