4Steve90, my heart truly goes out to you and I am sorry for your great loss, 54 is far too young to be stricken down by this dreaded cancer. Your feelings of disbelief, helplessness and confusion are feelings I am all too familiar with. Everything happened so quickly and shattered our lives and now we are left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of what just happened.

I know words can ring hollow at a time like this but just know you are not alone. I hope you can eventually find peace. God bless.