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Thread: My dad has begun hospice

  1. #1

    My dad has begun hospice

    My father, who has battled stage 4 pancreatic cancer for 3 years has now entered hospice after the effects of the cancer have become too much for his body to handle.

    After 2 years of virtually no symptoms, the wheels fell off last August, with him turning yellow, and then going in and out of the hospital with with numerous procedures, drain installations, stents, paracentesis, and a 3 week stay to cure sepsis.

    His fight is over, and he is now just going to enjoy the last 1-2 months of his life, hopefully in peace.

    I have made my peace with his death, he is my best friend, my boss, and of course my dad, but seeing him in pain these last 6 months has been unbearable, and seeing the morphine take effect and the lines slide off of his face, is a beautiful thing to behold, especially knowing how bad he wants to see his mother and other family in Heaven.

    33 is too young to lose your dad, I'm angry about that, but the MD Anderson hospital is a great equalizer. The minute I feel sorry for myself I see a mother with her child, or a spouse with a husband, and count my blessings.

    My father's sickness has taught me a lot of things, 1st that I wasnt mentally tough; I had just lived a charm life up until this point. 2nd, never use a handicapped accessible bathroom, there are people like my father who need those; and 3rd losing a loved one isnt the worst thing to happen, seeing a loved one in pain for months is worse.

    I will pray for all of you, I pray for the soul of the late BobinBonita who gave me so much help early on, and for DDessert, for Junepath whose posts of her mothers condition helped prepare me for what was coming and all of you who are going through this or watching your loved ones go through it. God Bless us all, and may every tear be wiped away in the afterlife.

  2. #2
    Moderator Senior User IndyLou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    That was a wonderful post, and I'm sorry to hear about your father. You seem at peace however, and that brings comfort. Cherish every moment you have left with him, and I hope he lives the remainder of his life knowing that he raised a terrific son.
    Age 52 Male
    early Feb, 2013 - Noticed almond-sized lump in shaving area, right side of neck. No other "classic" cancer symptoms
    late Feb, 2013 - Visited PCP for check-up, PCP advised as lymphoma. Did blood work, orders for CT-scan, referred to ENT
    3/7/13 - CT-scan inconclusive, endoscopy negative
    3/9/13 - FNA of neck mass
    3/14/13 - Received dx of squamous-cell carcinoma, unknown primary
    3/25/13 - CT-PET scan reveals no other active tumors
    3/26/13 - work/up for IMRT
    4/1/13 - W1, D1 of weekly cetuximab
    4/8/13 - W1, D1 of IMRT
    5/20/13 - complete 8 week regimen of weekly cetuximab
    5/24/13 - Complete 35-day regimen of daily IMRT
    mid-July 2013 - CT-PET scan reveals no active tumors, but shows necrotic tissue at site of original tumor
    early Sept 2013 - partial neck dissection to remove necrotic tissue. Assay shows no cancer present.
    Spring 2014 - No signs of cancer
    Spring 2015 - NED
    Spring 2016 - NED
    Spring 2017 - NED
    Spring 2018 - NED
    Spring 2019 - NED

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Top User ddessert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Blog Entries
    I am sorry to hear that, but hopefully the two extra good years offsets some of the pain.

    I recall that one year of no treatment between my treatments and surgery as some of the best months of my life. The idea that your death is not too far off and almost certain gives you some freedoms to do things you would not otherwise have done. I hope you and he were able to take advantage of that.
    BRCA2 3398del5
    Dec 2010 - back/abd pain
    May 2011 - Unresectable stage III, 2.5cm tumor
    Jun-Aug 2011 - Gem/Cis, 9 rounds
    Oct-Nov 2011 - IMRT+Xeloda
    Oct 2011-Sep 2012 - shrinking tumor
    Feb 2012 - National Familial Pancreatic Study
    Aug 2012 - Downgraded to stage IIA, PGP
    Sep 2012 - Whipple, T3N0M0, 0.5cm tumor, 0/16 lymph nodes
    Dec 2012 - Quebec PanCan Study
    Sep 2012-May 2019 - NED
    Mar 2013-present - NCT01088789
    Jun 2019- NCT03805919

  4. #4
    Senior User mydad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011

    Its been a long time since I have been on the board. i lost my dad to pc on 3/9/2012 I was also 33 years old when I lost him. It is too young to lose your dad, not going to lie I feel cheated sometimes as i am sure we all do.

    You are so right the worst is to see our loved ones suffer.

    I pray that both you and your dad have peace in the coming days.


  5. #5
    Revelations, Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing your story and supporting this group. I can say I really understand how you feel. If I don't survive this, my children will be much, much younger than you. Do cherish every year, every moment you have had with your father.
    February 2016- diagnosed with PC
    March 2016- inoperable due to arteries, also liver mets suspected
    March 2016-January 2017 -Gemzar/Abraxane
    February 2017 surgery-PC tumour and liver mets removed at same time
    July 2018 Back on Gemzar/Abraxane due to rising CA 19-9. Scans were clear.
    January 2019 Tried FOLFIRINOX after G/A became ineffective. FFX doesn't work. CA 19-9 rising
    February 2019 two small tumors appear on liver
    May 2019 - CA 19-9 skyrocketing. Started IMRT radiation treatment.
    August 2019 MRI done. No Evidence of Disease (NED). CA 19-9 dropped significantly. Still not normal range.

  6. #6
    Losing a loved one is never easy but unlike those who lose a loved one unexpectedly we know the end of days for our loved one is approaching, often times to the very day, I suppose this could be a blessing or a curse. I hope you choose to view it as a blessing and spend every waking moment you can with your father, and leave no words unspoken. Treat this "extra" time as a gift, make memories, and cherish every moment.


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