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Thread: Dad is Choosing Hospice

  1. #11
    Experienced User
    Join Date
    Mar 2018

    I am sad to see your latest updates. I was really hoping that things could turn around for your dad. As a caretaker myself, I'm constantly struggling between hope and reality. It's hard to accept that treatments are no longer an option, yet when it hits, we are forced to brave up and carry on. You have shared so much knowledge with everyone on this board and I really wish there are things I could do in return. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator Top User ddessert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Blog Entries
    Thanks for the kind words, all. I learned so much from my previous co-moderator BobInBonita who was gracious enough to share much of his hospice experience with me for the year that he was there. I visited him and his wife twice in Florida and my parents were always asking about him.

    Because I’ve participated in various forums for the last 7 years, I’ve learned a lot from everyone else. Alas, it has not been enough to save my father, but hopefully made his path easier.

    My father watched me go through pancreatic cancer and tried hard to do his own early detection, but that was still too late for him. His was at the tail of the pancreas and there were no real symptoms until it had progressed substantially.

    I try not to be sad about this. This disease does not define him or his life. That happened in the previous 82 years and he has done well for himself, his family, and others. That is how I am remembering him now.
    BRCA2 3398del5
    Dec 2010 - back/abd pain
    May 2011 - Unresectable stage III, 2.5cm tumor
    Jun-Aug 2011 - Gem/Cis, 9 rounds
    Oct-Nov 2011 - IMRT+Xeloda
    Oct 2011-Sep 2012 - shrinking tumor
    Feb 2012 - National Familial Pancreatic Study
    Aug 2012 - Downgraded to stage IIA, PGP
    Sep 2012 - Whipple, T3N0M0, 0.5cm tumor, 0/16 lymph nodes
    Dec 2012 - Quebec PanCan Study
    Sep 2012-May 2019 - NED
    Mar 2013-present - NCT01088789
    Jun 2019- NCT03805919

  3. #13
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Aug 2016

    Im so sad to hear this, we made no progress on early detection, I still trying to forgive myself because of my father, its not easy, a year became caregiver, done so many but not my father preferred one, so as my experience, support decision made by our loved one, would be the best option we have for pancan journey.

    Best hope and pray for you and your family David.


  4. #14
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    I hope and pray that your family receives consolation during this very sorrowful time.

  5. #15
    Experienced User
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Sorry to hear that it is not good for your dad. I hope that Robert will stay free of pain, focused and happy to the end of his biological life. I see your suffering and please let my thoughts comfort you. Life matters, I dare say even more, when it is mostly exhausted. We only die just for a second. Even the living around the ill person can see the other realm the person is slowly entering. It is subtle but powerful at the same time. That’s why nobody can tell really if it is going to be hours, days or months. I believe our duty is to help them stay happy to prepare for the journey. My mom died happy I think. A friend of mine lost her mom a few months ago. Before she died she said to the daughter. “Now I will just take off my shirt, leave it here and go. So please do not worry. Stay strong and focused David

  6. #16
    So sorry David. Haven’t been on the site for awhile but you are like an old friend. Hard to say goodbyes. Miss BobInBonita too....
    8/29/14 Sister diagnosed with adenocarcinoma, pancreas body, 2B
    9/8/14 MD Anderson - Pancreatectomy w splenectomy
    12/23/14 Chemo round 2. Platelets 1.5 mil, White Cells 13,000
    1/14/2015 Diagnosed with Paraneoplastic Syndrome
    1/24/2015 Stopped all Chemo (Gem) due to potential kidney failure
    1/30/2015 Admitted to MDA with HUS and other life threatening issues caused by Gemcitabine
    2/20/15 She passed away peacefully from a brain hemmorage. I miss her so much.

  7. #17
    Super Moderator Top User ddessert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Blog Entries
    Quote Originally Posted by boonems View Post
    So sorry David. Haven’t been on the site for awhile but you are like an old friend. Hard to say goodbyes. Miss BobInBonita too....
    Thanks, Boonems. I vividly remember the HUS your sister endured and have warned several others with similar symptoms. I strive to make sure that her unfortunate experience was not in vain.

  8. #18
    Regular User
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    David....just thinking about you, your Dad, and the rest of your family and friends.


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