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Thread: Colonoscopy - sad and scared

  1. #1
    Newbie New User
    Join Date
    May 2019

    Colonoscopy - sad and scared UPDATE

    About a month ago I noticed a little bit of bloody mucus in a bowel movement. It happened twice that day, and I haven't seen it again. I was so panicked that I made an appointment with a gastroenterologist, and now I will be having a colonoscopy at the end of this week.
    The doctor didn't seem too worried, but I still am! I've spent the last few weeks obsessively checking every time I use the bathroom. Sometimes I have pieces of undigested food like tomato or red pepper skins and my heart stops because at first glance it looks like blood. It's hard to tell what might be a real symptom of something and what is just my extreme anxiety.
    I'm 35. I just had my fourth baby in February. Every time my baby son smiles at me, I start to cry. At least Friday I will have some answers. I guess I'm just shouting into the internet abyss and hoping for some encouraging words. Best of luck to you all!
    Last edited by MamaLove; 05-24-2019 at 09:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Administrator Top User lisa1962's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Sorry your fear has brought you here posting on a cancer site.

    We are not doctors and can not guess as to the reasons of your symptoms but your doctor is working to rule out any kin6of disorder. Remember this, they are not look for cancer they are looking for cause to blood in stool.

    You are a new Mom. 3 months is hardly enough time for your body to heal. Hemorrhoids sounds like the obvious reason but again, not medically qualified.

    Work with your doctor. Try not thinking of worst case scenario and enjoy the baby. Keep busy.

    Good luck to you


  3. #3
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    It is natural for moms to wworry. Who wouldn't? But, new moms WORRY. Delivery with the physical and hormonal chages it brings in such a short time, causes potential for much worry. But, look at the timing of this. Cancer does not know when you have given birth. It would have caused all of this (and more) before, I would think.

    Rather, just hold that newborn blessing and feel the warmth. The challenges that may (or may not) lie ahead are for the future. They should not ruin today.
    05/08-07/08 Tumor appears behind left ear. Followed by serial medical incompetence on the parts of PCP, veteran oncologist and pathologist (misdiagnosis via non-diagnosis). Providential guidance to proper care at an NCI designated comprehensive cancer center.
    07/08 Age 56 DX 1) Peripheral T-Cell Lymphoma-Not Otherwise Specified. Stage IV-B, >50 ("innumerable") tumors, bone marrow involvement.
    08/08-12/08 Four cycles CHOEP14 + four cycles GND (Cyclofosfamide, Doxorubicin, Vincristine, Etoposide, Prednisone & Gemcitabine, Navelbine, Doxil)
    02/09 2) Relapse.
    03/09-06/13 Clinical trial of Romidepsin > long-term study. NED for 64 twenty-eight day cycles, dose tapered.
    07/13 3) Relapse, 4) Suspected Mutation.
    08/13-02/14 Romidepsin increased, stopped for lack of response. Watch & Wait.
    09/14 Relapse/Progression. Visible cervical nodes appear within 4 days of being checked clear.
    10/06/14 One cycle Belinostat. Discontinued to enter second clinical trial.
    10/25/14 Clinical trial of Alisertib/Failed - Progression.
    01/12/15 Belinostat resumed/Failed - Progression. 02/23/15
    02/24/15 Pralatrexate/Failed - Progression. 04/17/15
    04/15 Genomic profiling reveals mutation into PTCL-NOS + AngioImmunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. Stage IV-B a second time. Two dozen tumors + small intestine (Ileum) involvement.
    04/22/15 TEC (Bendamustine, Etoposide, Carboplatin). Full response in two cycles. PET/CT both clear. Third cycle followed.
    06/15-07/15 Transplant preparation (X-rays, spinal taps, BMB, blood test, MUGA scan, lung function, CMV screening, C-Diff testing etc. etc. etc.) Intrathecal Methotrexate during spinal tap.
    BMB reveals 5) 26% blast cells of 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome MDS), a bone marrow cancer and precursor to Acute Myeloid Leukemia.
    07/11-12/15 Cyclofosfamide + Fludarabine conditioning regimen.
    07/16/15 Total Body Irradiation.
    07/17/15 Moderate intensity Haploidentical Allogeneic Stem Cell Transplant receiving my son's peripheral blood stem cells.
    07/21-22/15 Triple dose Cyclofosfamide + Mesna, followed by immunosuppressants Tacrolimus and Mycophenolate Mofetil.
    07/23-08/03/15 Marrow producing zero blood cells. Fever. Hospitalized two weeks.
    08/04/15 Engraftment occurs, and blood cells are measurable - released from hospital.
    08/13/15 Day 26 - Marrow is 100% donor cells. Platelets climbing steadily, red cells follow.
    09/21/15 Acute skin Graft versus Host Disease arrives.
    DEXA scan reveals Osteoporosis.
    09/26/-11/03/15 Prednisone to control skin GvHD.
    11/2015 Acute GvHD re-classified to Chronic Graft versus Host Disease.
    05/2016 Tacrolimus stopped. Prednisone from 30-90mg daily tried. Sirolimus begun. Narrow-band UV-B therapy started, but discontinued for lack of response. One treatment of P-UVAreceived, but halted due to medication reaction.
    09/16/16 Three skin punch biopsies.
    11/04/16 GvHD clinical trial of Ofatumumab (Arzerra) + Prednisone + Methylprednisolone begun.
    12/16 Type II Diabetes, Hypertension - both treatment-related.
    05/17 Extracorporeal Photopheresis (ECP) begun in attempt to control chronic Graft-versus-Host-Disease (cGvHD. 8 year old Power Port removed and replaced with Vortex (Smart) Port for ECP.
    05/2017 Chronic anemia (low hematocrit). Chronic kidney disease. Cataracts from radiation and steroids.
    06/17 Trying various antibiotics in a search for tolerable prophylaxis.
    08/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals the presence of 2% cells with 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome, considered to be Minimum Residual Disease.
    12/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals no abnormalities in the marrow - MDS eradicated. The steroid taper continues.
    01/18 Consented for Kadmon clinical trial.
    03/18 Began 400mg daily of KD025, a rho-Associated Coiled-coil Kinase 2 Inhibitor (ROCK2).
    09/18 Due to refractory GvHD, Extracorporeal Photopheresis halted after 15 months ue to lack of additional benefit.
    10/18 I was withdrawn from the Kadmon KD025 clinical trial due to increasing fatigue/lack of benefit.
    11/18 Began therapy with Ruxolitinib (Jakafi), a JAK 1&2 inhibitor class drug. Started at half-dose due to concerns with drug interactions.

    To date: 1 cancer, relapse, second relapse/mutation into 2 cancers, then 3 cancers simultaneously, 20 chemotherapy/GVHD drugs in 11 regimens (4 of them at least twice), 5 salvage regimens, 4 clinical trials, 5 post-transplant immuno-suppressant/modulatory drugs, the equivalent of 1,000 years of background radiation from 40+ CT series scans and about 24 PET scans.
    Both lymphoid and myeloid malignancies lend a certain symmetry to the hematological journey.

    Believing in the redemptive value of suffering makes all the difference.

  4. #4
    Newbie New User
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Thank you both so much for your responses. I actually noticed a little more bleeding after I made my initial post - a bright red clump (for lack of a better word) on the side of the actual stool and a few spots of bright red on the toilet paper when I wiped. I am trying very hard to remind myself that there are benign causes of bleeding as well and all I can do right now is let the doctor figure out what is going on. Worrying does nothing helpful. I will try to take your advice and just focus on snuggling my baby for now.

    Thank you again for responding. I really appreciate it!

  5. #5
    Newbie New User
    Join Date
    May 2019
    I just wanted to update, since I know not everyone does. I had my colonoscopy today. The doctor found some bleeding internal hemorrhoids but it was otherwise clean. So, I have my answer now. I just wanted to wish everyone well on their various journeys, and thank you for providing the resources and support that you do.

  6. #6
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Good! A very common problem, and easily addressed. Cortisone suppositories may help and that newborn blessing is really all the comfort you need.


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