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Thread: 1 Year Later

  1. #1

    1 Year Later

    My dad was diagnosed last June with stage 4. Was given 3-6 months. A year later, he is still here. He was doing standard chemo but it stopped being beneficial in January. He stopped treatment until April with a more aggressive chemo. It has shrunk the pancreatic tumor by half but has not helped his lungs which are full He is nauseated 24/7. He wants to take a break after this round of 8 treatments is over. He has done 5. I'm sorry I don't know the drugs...I think there are three. All I know is he can't touch or drink anything cold. Has to wear protective gear.

    Every time I talk to him he says he is "hanging in there." If I ask how he is, he says "same." I know he's tired and in a lot of pain at night especially. Says he wakes up screaming sometimes.

    I hate that I can't help him. I can't fix this. And I feel like when he does pass that I will have buried a part of myself with him. I haven't lost a parent before. Thankfully, my mother is healthy.

    All I can do is listen and support. And pray. I try to be his sounding board and give advice and comfort. He is in a bit more chaos with his wife. He's not totally innocent in their marriage, but she isn't making his last days any easier. It's so painful.

    I think a year is a huge blessing. I didn't think I would have him for this long. I am thankful.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Top User ddessert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Blog Entries
    Thanks for the update and glad to hear that dad is at least hanging in there.
    I'm going through my dad's stuff right now after his death and realized right away that there will never be another picture of him or hear his voice again. So get all that before he's gone.
    BRCA2 3398del5
    Dec 2010 - back/abd pain
    May 2011 - Unresectable stage III, 2.5cm tumor
    Jun-Aug 2011 - Gem/Cis, 9 rounds
    Oct-Nov 2011 - IMRT+Xeloda
    Oct 2011-Sep 2012 - shrinking tumor
    Feb 2012 - National Familial Pancreatic Study
    Aug 2012 - Downgraded to stage IIA, PGP
    Sep 2012 - Whipple, T3N0M0, 0.5cm tumor, 0/16 lymph nodes
    Dec 2012 - Quebec PanCan Study
    Sep 2012-May 2019 - NED
    Mar 2013-present - NCT01088789
    Jun 2019- NCT03805919

  3. #3
    Thank you, ddessert. I have gotten a lot from pictures, etc. Saved texts and voicemails. I know it won't ever be enough, though.

  4. #4
    Newbie New User
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Make his last moments and days as comfortable as possible. Screw literally everything else. If you're the kind of person that takes solace in having "things to do" or being distracted, focus on his comfort and understand the entire grieving process will come later for you. Together, reminisce on happy stuff, stuff that you two did together. When my dad was deteriorating, the nurse told me to tell him stories and recall memories and my childhood with him. He didn't, and I regret not being more present and too involved in my own emotions during a time when a clock is ticking. I hope you can use the information more than I did.


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