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Thread: Making loved ones understand...

  1. #11
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Gary, thanks for posting that link.

    I did 20 years in the Army, including an exciting year in Vietnam. Like my Dad before me (WWII and Korea), I pretty much never talked about that year -- just as he didn't talk about the misery of war in the Pacific theater or advancing and retreating in Korea.

    We are not endowed with the knowledge of our impact and worth (or "value" as noted in the video) on those around us. Many of us forget how much we mean to those we love and who love us. I suspect I am not as good as I should be in expressing my love for those around me.

    This thread has spurred me into a commitment to better share my feelings with my friends and my family.

    The author of this thread has value far and above what he may suspect. For sure, his paragraph had meaning for me. And from one Vet to another, "thank you."
    2010-PSA 3.59; 2011-PSA 3.58; 2012-PSA 5.28, 4.26; 2013-PSA 5.98, 7.37; 2014-PSA 5.90, 4.70; 2015-PSA 5.18, 7.35
    RALP 16 March 17, Wesley Long, Greensboro, NC
    Pathology: pT3a, pN1 Gleason 4+5=9 adenocarcinoma with + surgical margin at bladder neck; 3 of 16 lymph nodes positive; neg seminal vesicles, vasa deferens
    Referral to Dr. Ken Pienta, Clinical Dir Research, Brady Center, Johns Hopkins
    Enrolled in Clinical Trial IRB002120414 “Phase II Study of definitive therapy for oligometastatic prostate cancer post surgery"
    Completed: Docetaxel 12 Jun 17, 3 Jul 17, 24 Jul 17, 14 Aug 17, 15 Sep 17
    Lupron every 90 days for two years. Completed March 2019
    Bone/Body Scans - 15 Sep 17 - neg; 15 Mar 18 - neg; 14 Sep 18 - neg; 17 Mar 19 - neg
    EBRT: 69 Gy total (46 to fossa, 23 boost to suspect areas) 1st treatment 28 Sep 17, last 22 Nov 17
    PSA: 25 May 17=0.2; 5 Sep 17=0.1; 18 Dec 17=0.1; 6 Mar 18=0.1; 29 May 18=0.1; 5 Sep 18=0.1; 17 Dec 18=0.1; 12 Mar 19=0.1; 15 Jul=0.1

  2. #12
    Senior User
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Quote Originally Posted by elwinb1 View Post
    I am a 60 yro WM widowed Vet who has had an increasing PSA for two yrs now. It is now at 14.2 and my immunologist at the VA is pushing me to have a biopsy. I am one of the oldest living long-term survivors of HIV in the US. My immunologist acts more or less as my primary physician.

    I am having a hard time getting my family and the few friends I have to accept my decision to not have a biopsy because if I do have prostate cancer I have no intention of treating it. I was widowed in 2013 when my triad partners died 5 months apart. The younger one died of colon cancer 5 mths after his initial diagnosis. Losing them has made me the last man standing three times in my lifetime. By 1985 everyone I came out with in high school was dead. In 1992 everyone my own age I had met upon moving to Tx was dead. When I lost my husbands in 2013 everyone we had known had either moved away or died.

    I spent 2016 and 17 homeless. I have no close family and only one or two ppl I would truly call friends. I worked with cancer patients in radiation oncology at Presbyterian hospital in Denver for a year after I left the service. I know what is involved in treating and beating cancer. And I don't have a support group to get me through it. The last few years have taken their toll on me. I am blind in one eye because of an assault. I have lost everything I owned when I became homeless. I don't have the fight left in me to face this alone. I simply want to allow the disease to run its course and when the pain becomes unbearable I will take measures to die with some dignity. I won't allow myself to be forced by the medical profession to die the way my loved ones w cancer were forced to. Taking chemo and radiation right up until tge end. Being sicker from the treatment than the disease. Losing my masculinity to hormone therapy.

    I want to spend time with those who care for me that is quality time. But those in my life are telling me what I feel and what I want to do is wrong. How can I help them see what I have chosen is better than what I face by trying to beat this.
    A little confused. If you have no close family and only a 2 close friends who do you have to convince?

    I suspect you have more people than that.
    Last edited by Duck2; 07-16-2019 at 11:54 AM.
    DOB 5/1957

    PSA - 11/2010=1.9, 6/12=2.3, 12/13=2.19, 12/14=2.64, 3/17=5.29, 3/17=3.91, 6/17=3.47, 12/17=4.50, 12/17=3.80, free PSA low risk (local (Uro, “My opinion you don’t have cancer), 8/18=5.13, 10/18=5.1, 10/19 ISO PSA 56% risk cancer. All DREs negative.

    DX 12/18, GS 8, 4+4 6/12 cores, LL Apex 100%, LM Apex 60%, LL Mid 50%, LMM 40%, LL Base 5%, LM <5%, Right side negative, (Uro opinion “This has been going on for a year”.... ah, more like 2 years ). Bone scan/CT negative

    2/25/19 R-LESS (Robotic Laparoendoscopic Single Site Surgery) outpatient Cleveland Clinic,

    3/6/19. Pathology - Grade Group 4 with Intraductal Carinoma
    T3aNO, GS8, 21 mm unifocal tumor 10%. -7 Nodes, - SV, - Margins, - PNI,
    - bladder neck neg., +LVI, + EPE non focal apex/mid lateral 1mm max extension, Cribriform pattern present. Decipher .86 High Risk.

    PSA 3/27/19 .03. (29 days)
    4/25/19 <.03. (58 days)
    5/25/19 <.02. (88 days)

    ADT - 6/3/19
    ART - 8/5/19

  3. #13
    Top User garyi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    As Shakespeare said,

    “The quality of mercy is not strained.
    It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
    Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:
    It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

    Yo are so right, BAB...."The author of this thread has value far and above what he may suspect. For sure, his paragraph had meaning for me. And from one Vet to another, "thank you.".....and welcome home!
    72...LUTS for the past 7 years
    TURP 2/16,
    G3+4 discovered
    3T MRI 5/16
    MRI fusion guided biopsy 6/16
    14 cores; four G 3+3, one G3+4,
    CIPRO antibiotic = C. Diff infection 7/16
    Cured with Vanco for 14 days
    Second 3T MRI 1/17
    Worsened bulging of posterior capsule
    Oncotype DX GPS 3/17, LFP risk 63%, Likelihood of Low
    Grade Disease 81%, Likelihood of Organ Confined 80%
    RALP 7/13/17 Dr. Gonzaglo @ Univ of Miami
    G3+4 Confirmed, Organ confined
    pT2 pNO pMn/a Grade Group 2
    PSA 0.32 to .54 over 3 months
    DCFPyl PET & ercMRI Scans - 11/17
    A one inch tumor still in prostate bed = failed surgery
    All met scans clear
    SRT, 2ADT, IMGT 70.2 Gys @1.8 per, completed 5/18
    Radiation Procitis, and Ulcerative Colitis flaired after 20 years
    PSA <.006 9/18, .054 11/18, .070 12/18, .067 2/19, .078 5/19, .074 7/19
    We'll see....what is not known dwarfs what is thought to be fact


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