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Thread: Convinced I have cancer and I am terrified.

  1. #1
    Newbie New User
    Join Date
    Dec 2019

    Convinced I have cancer and I am terrified.

    Hi guys,
    I am a 22 yr old female. I donít know where else to turn. The anxiety of not knowing what is going on with my body and finding new symptoms every week is getting out of control and I donít know who else I can turn to, other than my doctor.
    Over the summer, I noticed what looked like a bruise on my breast. I thought, hm, thatís weird, maybe i bumped my breast on something. I kept an eye on it for a week and it would come and go, which I also thought was strange. Soon what I thought was a bruise, turned into itchiness, pain, swollen armpit lymph nodes, dimpling, blood, I mean I had every symptom of breast cancer I could think of.
    I went to a walk in clinic where they preformed a breast exam since I didnít have a primary care doctor at the time. He said he genuinely believes it is matisis so he gave me antibiotics for it. I took the antibiotics and after a few weeks, the symptoms began to subside except for a few things I had noticed- sparse little pin point dots on my breast. Also thought that was strange so I decided to see a breast specialist just Incase. She said my breasts feel and look fine and thinks it may be a skin issue, so she referred me to a primary care doctor.
    This is when things started getting weird again- but elsewhere. I started noticing pinpoint red dots and clusters of them in different areas of my body which I later learned was petichae (hopefully that spelling isnít correct). This comes and goes aswell. My chest has white dots all up and down it, and I even noticed a slightly raised white dot on my breast. Not only that, but I also noticed a red scaly patch of skin on my upper thigh. This hasnít gone away and itís been a month- infact, it keeps growing.
    I have also noticed what looks like tiny bruises and red dots on my other thigh, too.
    Just recently, a few days ago, I noticed a flesh colored, smooth & wrinkly patch on my breast.. I donít know how else to describe it, other than the texture is different from what is normal.
    I have also been experiencing tachycardia and random pains, some in my breast again which might be unreleated and maybe due to the intense anxiety and stress that I have been feeling.
    I see my doctor tomorrow but I just feel at a loss. I almost donít even want to know what it is. Iíve done so much googling to the point if anybody were to look through my history, they would probably think Iím crazy.. but I am just terrified. I am clutching at straws at what this possibly could be and I have no idea.

  2. #2
    Moderator Top User jorola's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    First off googling like crazy is a bad thing. Google is not a doctor, it does not examine you or treat your case with it's own merit. All it does is lump very generalized symptoms together and then severely hypothesize what you may have. Almost all the symptoms that are listed as possibly being related to cancer, can be and are most likely related to another very treatable condition. I truly think you are letting your anxiety get away on you. What you need to do is continue to see your doctor and follow through on any tests need to get to the bottom of your symptoms. Please know that anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms. Be sure to discuss your anxiety with your doctor as well.
    Last edited by jorola; 12-01-2019 at 09:23 AM. Reason: typo
    Wife to husband with squamous lung cancer stage 3 b
    dx - April 20/14
    tx started May 20/14 - radiation and chemo
    June 23 - chemo finished
    July 4 - radiation finished
    July 8 - PET scan shows tumor almost gone, lymph nodes back to normal
    Married July 19/14
    Sept 9/14 - repeat can shows tumor continues to shrink more, no new spots. New coughing and pain due to chest infection or side effect of radiation.
    Sept 19/14 - not infection but pneumonitis, place on dex for 4 weeks
    Oct 22/14 - now off of dex and facing even more symptoms of withdrawal
    Dec 16/14 - pretty much nothing left but a scar
    April 7/15 - ditto scan and screw you stats
    Oct 6/15 - more scarring but still cancer still gone
    Feb 2016 -scan the same
    Aug 2016 - more of the same
    Aug 2017 - and ditto
    Aug 2018 - 4 yrs NED - no evidence of disease
    Aug 2019 - 5 yrs NED and discharged from cancer clinic!!!!!

  3. #3
    Moderator Top User HighlanderCFH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Some of your skin symptoms sound a bit like psoriasis, which is a benign skin condition. Have you been advised to consult with a dermatologist?

    Good luck!
    July 2011 local PSA lab reading 6.41 (from 4.1 in 2009). Mayo Clinic PSA 9/ 2011 = 5.7.
    Local uro DRE revealed significant BPH, no lumps.
    PCa Dx Aug. 2011 age of 61.
    Biopsy DXd adenocarcinoma in 3/20 cores (one 5%, two 20%). T2C.
    Gleason 3+3=6. CT abdomen, bone scan negative.
    DaVinci prostatectomy 11/1/11 at Mayo Clinic (Rochester, MN), nerve sparing, age 62.
    Surgeon was Dr. Matthew Tollefson, who I highly recommend.
    Final pathology shows tumor confined to prostate.
    5 lymph nodes, seminal vesicules, extraprostatic soft tissue all negative.
    1.0 x 0.6 x 0.6 cm mass involving right posterior inferior, right posterior apex & left
    mid posterior prostate. Right posterior apex margin involved by tumor over 0.2 cm length,
    doctor says this is insignificant.
    Prostate 98 grams, tumor 2 grams.
    Catheter out in 7 days. No incontinence, minor dripping for a few weeks.
    Eight annual post-op exams 2012 through 2019: PSA <0.1
    Semi-firm erections without "training wheels," usable erections with 100mg Sildenafil.
    NOTE: ED caused by BPH, not the surgery.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Top User po18guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Strike one: You are living in the most anxious culture in human history.
    Strike two: You are in the most anxious age bracket.
    Strike 3? Anxiety can produce each and every symptom you have and nearly 100 more.

    Actually, your current symptoms are very common with anxiety.

    1 in 5 today (64 million Americans) suffer from some form of anxiety. Ask your family and friends - those who love you, if they think you are anxious. Listen to them.

    Anxiety cannot help you - either sick or well. The gold standard treatment for anxiety does not use drugs. It can even be done over the phone!

    You are intended to live in peace. You deserve to live in peace. Take the first step toward peace.
    05/08-07/08 Tumor appears behind left ear. Followed by serial medical incompetence on the parts of PCP, veteran oncologist and pathologist (misdiagnosis via non-diagnosis). Providential guidance to proper care at an NCI designated comprehensive cancer center.
    07/08 Age 56 DX 1) Peripheral T-Cell Lymphoma-Not Otherwise Specified. Stage IV-B, >50 ("innumerable") tumors, bone marrow involvement.
    08/08-12/08 Four cycles CHOEP14 + four cycles GND (Cyclofosfamide, Doxorubicin, Vincristine, Etoposide, Prednisone & Gemcitabine, Navelbine, Doxil)
    02/09 2) Relapse.
    03/09-06/13 Clinical trial of Romidepsin > long-term study. NED for 64 twenty-eight day cycles, dose tapered.
    07/13 3) Relapse, 4) Suspected Mutation.
    08/13-02/14 Romidepsin increased, stopped for lack of response. Watch & Wait.
    09/14 Relapse/Progression. Visible cervical nodes appear within 4 days of being checked clear.
    10/06/14 One cycle Belinostat. Discontinued to enter second clinical trial.
    10/25/14 Clinical trial of Alisertib/Failed - Progression.
    01/12/15 Belinostat resumed/Failed - Progression. 02/23/15
    02/24/15 Pralatrexate/Failed - Progression. 04/17/15
    04/15 Genomic profiling reveals mutation into PTCL-NOS + AngioImmunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. Stage IV-B a second time. Two dozen tumors + small intestine (Ileum) involvement.
    04/22/15 TEC (Bendamustine, Etoposide, Carboplatin). Full response in two cycles. PET/CT both clear. Third cycle followed.
    06/15-07/15 Transplant preparation (X-rays, spinal taps, BMB, blood test, MUGA scan, lung function, CMV screening, C-Diff testing etc. etc. etc.) Intrathecal Methotrexate during spinal tap.
    BMB reveals 5) 26% blast cells of 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome MDS), a bone marrow cancer and precursor to Acute Myeloid Leukemia.
    07/11-12/15 Cyclofosfamide + Fludarabine conditioning regimen.
    07/16/15 Total Body Irradiation.
    07/17/15 Moderate intensity Haploidentical Allogeneic Stem Cell Transplant receiving my son's peripheral blood stem cells.
    07/21-22/15 Triple dose Cyclofosfamide + Mesna, followed by immunosuppressants Tacrolimus and Mycophenolate Mofetil.
    07/23-08/03/15 Marrow producing zero blood cells. Fever. Hospitalized two weeks.
    08/04/15 Engraftment occurs, and blood cells are measurable - released from hospital.
    08/13/15 Day 26 - Marrow is 100% donor cells. Platelets climbing steadily, red cells follow.
    09/21/15 Acute skin Graft versus Host Disease arrives.
    DEXA scan reveals Osteoporosis.
    09/26/-11/03/15 Prednisone to control skin GvHD.
    11/2015 Acute GvHD re-classified to Chronic Graft versus Host Disease.
    05/2016 Tacrolimus stopped. Prednisone from 30-90mg daily tried. Sirolimus begun. Narrow-band UV-B therapy started, but discontinued for lack of response. One treatment of P-UVAreceived, but halted due to medication reaction.
    09/16/16 Three skin punch biopsies.
    11/04/16 GvHD clinical trial of Ofatumumab (Arzerra) + Prednisone + Methylprednisolone begun.
    12/16 Type II Diabetes, Hypertension - both treatment-related.
    05/17 Extracorporeal Photopheresis (ECP) begun in attempt to control chronic Graft-versus-Host-Disease (cGvHD. 8 year old Power Port removed and replaced with Vortex (Smart) Port for ECP.
    05/2017 Chronic anemia (low hematocrit). Chronic kidney disease. Cataracts from radiation and steroids.
    06/17 Trying various antibiotics in a search for tolerable prophylaxis.
    08/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals the presence of 2% cells with 20q Deletion Myelodysplastic Syndrome, considered to be Minimum Residual Disease.
    12/17 Bone marrow biopsy reveals no abnormalities in the marrow - MDS eradicated. The steroid taper continues.
    01/18 Consented for Kadmon clinical trial.
    03/18 Began 400mg daily of KD025, a rho-Associated Coiled-coil Kinase 2 Inhibitor (ROCK2).
    09/18 Due to refractory GvHD, Extracorporeal Photopheresis halted after 15 months ue to lack of additional benefit.
    10/18 I was withdrawn from the Kadmon KD025 clinical trial due to increasing fatigue/lack of benefit.
    11/18 Began therapy with Ruxolitinib (Jakafi), a JAK 1&2 inhibitor class drug. Started at half-dose due to concerns with drug interactions.

    To date: 1 cancer, relapse, second relapse/mutation into 2 cancers, then 3 cancers simultaneously, 20 chemotherapy/GVHD drugs in 11 regimens (4 of them at least twice), 5 salvage regimens, 4 clinical trials, 5 post-transplant immuno-suppressant/modulatory drugs, the equivalent of 1,000 years of background radiation from 40+ CT series scans and about 24 PET scans.
    Both lymphoid and myeloid malignancies lend a certain symmetry to the hematological journey.

    Believing in the redemptive value of suffering makes all the difference.


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